Pages from the Royal Chef's Cookbook

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
We found the errant wizard, trying to leave the county. He had nearly half the book on him as the fence promised. He readily agreed to hand over the ill-gotten pages if only he could have copies of one or two of them. I told him no. The fact that he wasn't being sold into slavery to atone for his crimes and recompense the victims should be payment enough. He grumbled but agreed when he noticed the posse of sheriffs with his brother in chains backing up my negotiations. The local sheriffs then escorted him and his brother out of the capitol and gave them orders to never return.
Ambrose

Magic to Eat By

Banquet
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 3, Sor/Wiz 3
Components: V, S, M, F; see text
Casting Time: 5 minutes
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Area: 50 feet radius
Effect: 1 or more rectangular table(s) and 2 or more chairs
Duration: 1 hour/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You conjure up to 1 long rectangular table and eight chairs/2 levels (maximum 10 tables and 80 chairs at 20th level). The tables and chairs are stable and sturdy, solid oak. All tables are covered with a lace tablecloth and set with 8 places. A setting includes a plate, a saucer, a bowl, a tankard, a goblet, silver spoon, silver fork, and silver knife, and a cloth napkin. You also conjure 1 unseen servant/table to serve the meals, refill drinks, and generally see to your guests' needs. Any piece removed farther than 50 feet away from the table(s) changes into smoke and wafts away. At the end of the spell, all conjured pieces similarly disappear.
This spell provides no food, just the accoutrements of the meal and the servants. Further, any meal served on these tables grants its cook a +4 bonus to Diplomacy checks for 1 hour with any who partake of it.
Material Components: A sliver of wood and a white lace handkerchief (worth 3 gp). These must be augmented by the components of the unseen servant spell (string and a bit of wood) if this benefit is to be included.
Focus Component: A miniature teak chair (worth 25 gp) and a miniature crystal goblet (worth 15 gp).
Cook's Note: An instant dining area for frontier dinners of state. This spell is now required learning for any of my employees that can cast it.

Bless Water
Transmutation [Good]
Cook's Note: Adds no flavor whatsoever to foods cooked with it. Such food radiates dim good though.

Chill Metal
Transmutation [Cold]
Cook's Note: This spell can be used to quickly chill or even freeze foods or drinks placed in metal containers. Two rounds is enough to chill and cover with frost most foods and drinks. Three or more rounds solidly freezes beverages and foodstuffs. To prevent freezing of foods and drinks, it is necessary to empty the container as it will continue to chill until the spell ends. I am experimenting with a dish that uses frozen cow's milk and oil of the vanilla bean.

Cook's Delight
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Brd 5, Sor/Wiz 5
Components: V, S, M, F; see text
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: 50 ft. by 50 ft.
Duration: 2 hours/level (D)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: No
You conjure a huge pavilion that over 4 long tables covered with white and red checkered tablecloths, 3 cabinets containing: a complete assortment of knives, 2 mortars & pestles, 3 strainers, 2 sieves, 1 colander, 3 long-handled frying pans, 2 metal grids, 2 waffle irons, 3 cleavers, 2 mallets, 2 tongs, 10 bunches of twigs, 15 cloths, 5 lb. scouring sand, 2 tubs, 3 weighing scales, 2 roasting forks, 2 skimming spoons, 1 rolling pin, 1 cheese grater, 4 iron handmils; and 10 buckets of water. Surounding the pavilion are 3 cookfires with iron grates and spits and a clay oven. The ground under the pavilion and surrounding it out to a distance of 50 feet from the center point is level, clean, and dry. Three or more unseen servants are conjured to assist with the cooking and can follow any simple order related to cooking (grind these, peel that, stir this, etc.). The spell conjures one unseen servant per 3 caster levels.
This spell provides no food, just a portable kitchen with 3 or more sculleries (unseen servants)
Material Components: A chip of oak, a red and white checkered handkerchief and a sprinkling of water. These must be augmented by the components of the unseen servant spell (string and a bit of wood) if this benefit is to be included.
Focus Component: A miniature iron skillet (worth 10 gp) and a miniature silver spoon (worth 50 gp).
Cook's Note: A complex spell, but worth it for the ability to create a feast fit for a king in the middle of the wilderness. With banquet to supply a dining room anywhere can be a dinner of state. Myself and my best assistant cooks are assigned a spellcaster with the ability to cast both this spell and banquet in case of emergencies.

Create Food and Water
Conjuration (Creation)
Cook's Note: Should only be used in the direst of circumstances; the food is an affront to the taste buds.

Create Water
Conjuration (Creation) [Water]
Cook's Note: Water is a necessary ingredient of most meals.

Curse Water
Necromancy [Evil]
Cook's Note: Adds no flavor whatsoever to foods cooked with it. Such food radiates dim evil though.

Disguise Food
Illusion (Phantasm)
Level: Asn 2
Components: S, M
Casting Time: 1 move action
Range: 10 feet
Target: up to 1 cu ft of food/level (or about 8 lbs./lvl)
Duration: 10 hour/level
Saving Throw: Special (object)
Spell Resistance: No (object)
This spell covers the target food with the illusion of a masterwork meal; in taste, smell, and looks; no matter what the actual food is. Moldy food, maggoty food, or poisoned food is thus a scrumptious repast until the disease/poison/infestation takes effect. The food's aura is masked from most detect spells (and effects with similar capabilities) as though it were nonmagical. A detect poison spell though, will see through the disguise if poison is present and purify food and drink will work normally no matter what the food looks like.
Material Components: A piece of iron pyrite touched to the food while the food is sprinkled with diamond dust (worth 500 gp).
Cook's Note: Completely hides the taste of poisons. Detect poison is required for all meals of state now. I asked Kerrik to try to infiltrate the local assassin's guild for me. It took him 3 years after the great debacle with the dwarven ambassadors. Only the fact that I keep multiple methods of poison control available saved the whole party. I hope that inside knowledge of the workings of that dark guild will help stave off future attempts at disrupting any of my banquets ever again. The only reason I did not lose my head on the chopping block over this outrage is that the king was never in any actual danger (I prepare and serve his food personally, no servants are allowed close to it).

Goodberry
Transmutation
Cook's Note: The berries from this spell are extremely useful by adding them to flavorful but non-nutritious meals.

Heat Metal
Transmutation [Fire]
Cook's Note: This spell is mainly used for quickly cooked items.

Heroes’ Feast
Conjuration [Creation]
Cook's Note: For those that do not have a royal chef available.

Major Creation
Conjuration (Creation)
Cook's Note: Useful to create rare fruits, legumes, nuts, berries, grains, or vegetables when the real thing is unavailable. Nonliving does not mean rotten. Legendary foodstuffs cannot be created by use of this spell.
When used to create a complete meal, a Craft (cooking) check determines the quality of the meal.
Craft (cooking) check result---Quality of Meal
3 or less---Poor (2 sp)
4-8 ---Common (5 sp)
9-13 ---Good (2 gp)
14-18 ---Fine (3 gp)
19-23 ---Excellent (5 gp)
24-28 ---Superb (7 gp)
29+ ---Banquet (10 gp)
Poor meals have such poor nutrition that they give the eater a 50% chance to take 1 point of Constitution damage. Common meals have only a 25% chance for the same damage. Good or better meals have no chance of damaging the eater. Excellent and better meals have a 50% chance to heal the eater of 1 hit point of damage. Banquet meals instead heal 1d2 hit points. Anyone can choose to make a worse quality meal than they roll.

Minor Creation
Conjuration (Creation)
Cook's Note: Useful to create rare fruits, legumes, nuts, berries, grains, or vegetables when the real thing is unavailable. Nonliving does not mean rotten. Legendary foodstuffs cannot be created by use of this spell.
When used to create a meal, a Craft (cooking) check determines the quality of the meal.
Craft (cooking) check result---Quality of Meal
5 or less ---Poor (2 sp)
6-10 ---Common (5 sp)
11-15 ---Good (2 gp)
16-20 ---Fine (3 gp)
21-25 ---Excellent (5 gp)
26-30 ---Superb (7 gp)
31+ ---Banquet (10 gp)
Poor meals have such poor nutrition that they give the eater a 50% chance to take 1 point of Constitution damage. Common meals have only a 25% chance for the same damage. Good or better meals have no chance of damaging the eater. Excellent and better meals have a 50% chance to heal the eater of 1 hit point of damage. Banquet meals instead heal 1d2 hit points. Anyone can choose to make a worse quality meal than they roll.

Plant Growth
Transmutation
Cook's Note: The enrichment version of this spell brings food crops to maximum production capability.

Purify Food and Drink
Transmutation
Cook's Note: In a pinch, useless food and drink can provide sustenance.

Putrefy Food and Drink
Transmutation [Evil]
Cook's Note: When I asked Eric who would ever use such a spell, he readily countered with a reminder of the banquet in honor of the dwarven ambassadors and begged me to make peace with Baron Erlitz. I promised to invite him to the next dinner of state as a gesture of peace; whether he comes or not and whether he acts the buffoon again remains to be seen.

Spice
Conjuration (Creation)
Level: Bard 0, Clr 0, Drd 0, Sor/Wiz 0
Components: V, S, F
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: 5 feet
Effect: Special, see below
Duration: Instantaneous (and 1 hour/level)
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: None
This spell conjures 1 finely-ground ounce of any non-magical spice named by the caster into the focus component. This silver rod is then used to dispense the correct amount of that spice for the meal in question (cook's opinion) by shaking it over the meal. The spice disappears after 1 hour per caster level if not used sooner.
Special: Those that eat a meal using such spice heal one hit point after the meal is finished (or 10 minutes after starting eating).
Focus Component: A short silver rod with one end that has small but deep holes bored into it (worth at least 50 gp). The holes form the shape of an "S".
Cook's Note: The perfect way to acquire a rare spice for a meal.

Transmute Metal to Wood
Transmutation
Cook's Note: Magical weapons transformed into wooden ones can be used for cooking food; supposedly the food gains a blood-like coppery taste and a mild tingle. This is still untested as it seems no one is willing to fuel my taste experimentation and conversation-starters like, "I wonder what your dagger would taste like" seem to quickly lose the audience.

Warrior's Meal
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Bard 4, Cleric 4
Components: V, S, M, F
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Effect: Meal, table, and service for one creature/2 levels
Duration: 1 hour/2 levels (max 10 hours at 20th level)
Saving Throw: None (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No (harmless)
You bring forth a great meal, including a serviceable table, adequate chairs, wooden service (plates, bowls, forks, etc.), and food and drink, all from a tablecloth spread upon the ground. The meal takes 1 hour to consume, and the beneficial effects do not set in until this hour is over. At the end of the spell the table, chairs, and service vanish. Every creature partaking of the meal gains a luck bonus equal to 1/2 the caster's casting modifier (max luck bonus +5) to attacks and damage. The meal is delicious and suppresses fatigue and exhaustion for its duration. After the effect ends, any fatigue or exhaustion comes back at full strength and must then be dealt with as normal (mainly, rest can end or lessen the conditions).
Material Components: 1 day's rations
Focus Component: A red and white checkered tablecloth (5' x 5'; wt. 2 lb.; cost: 3 gp), a miniature wooden knife and a miniature wooden fork.
Cook's Note: This spell was made by Eric and is the main reason I hired him on the spot the first time I saw him cast the spell. He has since proved superior to my needs and became indispensable to both me personally and through me, to the king.



Author's Note:The reason this section is purportedly the longest has more to do with the game rules for how many pages it takes to pen a spell in a book than how many pages it took to describe it. I left out the Core Rules spell descriptions to shorten the read.

 

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
Another minor lord supplied these recipes. This would all go more quickly if I could assign several competent persons to speed these negotiations up; but you insisted that I handle each personally. I will continue to do so, but did I mention that they were competent?
Anyway, to hand we have several names that I do not recognize as members of the court on the list. I did assign competent persons to find out who and where they are. I am still awaiting information on those individuals.
Ambrose


Chicken (et al) Stock
5 lbs. chicken pieces (wings, backs, legs, etc.); 1 yellow onion, chopped; 3 celery heads, chopped; 2 sprigs of parsley, chopped; 1 carrot, cut into 2 inch segments; 2 drams sea salt, finely ground, 3 peppercorns, finely ground and sifted.
Effects: None found yet
Directions:
Coat the bottom of a cauldron with the oil of the olive. Place half of the chicken pieces, skin side down in the bottom of the cauldron. Heat over a pillow plant fire for extra spiciness (or other medium-heat fire) until the chicken is browned. Add the rest of the chicken pieces and stir the cauldron; cooking and occasionally stirring until the chicken is no longer pink.
Add the onion, carrot, celery, parsley, leek greens, and bay leaf to the cauldron. Cover with cold water. Move the cauldron to a high heat fire (I like to use a flame bush fire) until it boils, then immediately move the cauldron to a low heat fire to simmer. If scum rises to the surface of the cauldron, skim it off with a ladle. Let simmer for 4-6 hours.
Strain out the chicken and vegetables with a colander, return stock to cauldron. Discard chicken and vegetables. Line the colander with a wet cheesecloth and again strain the broth through a colander into a large pot. Discard any solids. Reserve stock. Craft (cooking) DC 5; Caster Level: N/A
Stock Cost: 3 sp
Cook's Note: This same recipe can be used for nearly any kind of meat stock; the big exceptions are dragons and aberrations. Minor changes of spices and vegetables will be necessary for other meats, see the section on spices. Some meats work better with certain meals (I give my suggestions along with the meal, if I have any. So many tastes; so many options. I am sorry to report that I have not tried every combination.)

Veloute Sauce
Divination
12 drams stench kow butter; 18 drams wheat flour, finely ground; 1 pint chicken stock (or other meat, I suggest roc: add 1 crushed garlic bulb and 20 crushed coriander seeds to herbs and spices); 6 drams sea salt, finely ground; 6 black peppercorns, finely ground and sifted.
Effects: True seeing for 2 hours after consumed.
Directions:
Melt stench kow butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add flour to pan, and cook for 3 minutes, stirring frequently with a whisk. Gradually add chicken stock, stirring with a whisk until smooth, and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally until slightly thick, and stir in sea salt and pepper powder. Cast true seeing on the sauce. Craft (cooking) DC 25, Caster Level: cook's character level.
Sauce Cost: 5-10 gp plus cost of stench kow butter and/or special meat stock.
Cook's Note: Stench kows, I hate those beasts, but the two I have make getting their butter possible without a trip across the planes. I can only hope that I do not have to keep hiring new keepers/milkers; no one seems to last long at that job. The milk is foul-smelling and will make anyone nauseous if within 25 feet of it (-2 to Dexterity-related skills as long as in range of the milk). At least the servants I have churn it into butter fare better, the top of the churn seems to keep the worst of the smell inside. The butter smells no better than the milk but only within hand's length; but the taste is palatable and slightly cheesy. The smell seems to be swallowed by the cooking procedure so only the taste remains thankfully.

Dire Shark and Giant Clam Chowder
Abjuration, Transmutation, and Divination
Ingredients: 7 drops of fresh bovine butter; 1 white onion, chopped, 1 pouch; 2 medium carrots, chopped; 1 bell pepper, chopped, 1 pouch; 4-5 dried sweet peppers, chopped, 1/2 pouch; 4 tomatoes, diced, 2 pouches; 4 medium white potatoes, peeled and diced; 1 gill veloute sauce, 4 leeks, chopped, white only; 2 bay leaves, 2 gills white wine (elvish preferred); 6 black peppercorns, finely ground and sifted; 1/2 handful thyme, 2 fresh sprigs; 1/2 pouch parsley, chopped; 15 lb. dire shark filet, coarsely chopped, 1 bag; 2 giant clams, shelled and coarsely chopped, 4 pouches; 2 gills ambrosia.
Serves: 10
Effects: In addition to the effects of veloute sauce and ambrosia (duration increased to 5 minutes), this meal instills in those eating it: the Scent special ability, water breathing, free action, and DR 3/- for 2 hours.
Time to Eat: 1/2 hour (counts as one meal)
Directions:
Melt the butter in a large soup kettle. Add the onion and cook over hardwood or hard coal fire (for an interesting flavor twist, try a darkwood fire); heat until soft. Add the carrots, cook for several minutes, add the bell pepper, sweet pepper, leeks and bay leaves, cook for 3 minutes or so, add tomatoes, potatoes, veloute sauce, wine, black pepper powder, thyme, and parsley. Stir briskly. Cast water breathing and free action onto kettle's contents.
Bring to a low boil, add dire shark fillets, add fire crystals around the fire to raise heat for a quick boil for about 3 minutes, move the kettle off the fire to cool for 10-15 minutes (casting chill metal on an iron grate to set the kettle on for cooling reduces the time to three minutes). Meal should be served warm but not burning hot. Craft (cooking) DC 25, Caster Level: cook's character level.
Meal Cost: 15 gp plus cost of non-enchanted rare ingredients (dire shark fillet, giant clams, and wine) and the enchanted ingredients (veloute sauce and ambrosia).
Cook's Note: The king has demanded that I make available a "kettle-full" of this meal for emergency use in case of naval assault of the capitol for use by his elite marine guard. I tried to explain the magic necessary to keep such a meal viable for an unlimited time but he instead set his vizier to settle the storage problem. The vizier, in his usual inept and befuddled way will use magical questions sent to who knows what gods for his answers. If His Royal Vizier does not blow up the kingdom getting the answer; maybe he can convince His Magesty that the idea isn't really feasible without a lot of spell research. Otherwise, my new title might as well be The Royal Chowderhead as I'll have to spend all my time making new batches as the old ones go bad in short notice. Eric suggested that I could make some on short notice If a naval assault happens. I had not thought of that: volunteer for emergency naval battle service to stave off the vizier's questioning. But the problem that still remains is supply. Dire sharks are not farm-raised. Finding a dire shark is more happenstance and luck (to kill it) that any kind of planning. Always having some "on hand" becomes problematic. Even with spells, I have not been able to make the meat (clams and shark) last more than a few weeks. Dire shark is a rare delicacy for which I have not be able to secure a reliable source. Other kinds of sharks or clams do not hold the magic.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

+1 For continued excellence: I've now sigged this thread!

...but why not Roc Stock?

 

[ElectricDragon]

Had not thought of roc. It is totally appropriate. I have amended the above post to reflect that.

 

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
This should be the last of the minor lords. I'll make the list and send it presently.
I have identified one of the unknowns on the list, a merchant of some repute. Unfortunately he has left the capitol on a ship bound for the island nations. I assigned good people to track him down and return him to the capitol or retrieve the pages if returning him proves difficult.
Ambrose

(Assassin Vine Berry Wine Vinegar) Vinaigrette
Abjuration
Ingredients: 25 olives, pressed for oil, 1 mug; assassin vine berry wine vinegar, 1 mug; garlic, minced, 30 sprinkles; 5 sprinkles oregano, dried; 3 sprinkles marjoram, dried; 3 sprinkles thyme, dried; 1 sprinkle basil, dried; 1 sprinkle rosemary, dried; 1 sprinkle sage, dried; 1 handful mustard seed, finely ground and sifted; 1 drip of giant bee honey
Sauce Effects: Protection from chaos/evil/good/law (Cook's choice) and electricity immunity for one hour (no Constitution check).
Directions:
Whisk all ingredients together in a small bowl. Let stand 10 minutes to rehydrate dried herbs and blend flavors. Whisk again. Cast protection from chaos/evil/good/law on sauce. Reserve. Craft (cooking) DC: 20, Sauce Cost: 3 gp, 5 sp plus cost of assassin vine berry wine vinegar and giant bee honey.
Cook's Note: Protection from evil is the universally favorite, though chaos comes in a close second here in the capitol. Normal honey can be substituted, but the duration is cut in half.

Assassin Vine Salad
Abjuration
Ingredients: 1 pouch of minced capers, 1 mug vinaigrette sauce, 1 handful assassin vine leaves, finely chopped; salt; pepper; 1 bag lettuce, torn; 1 cucumber, thinly sliced; 1 lemon, halved.
Serves: 4 if served as a meal; 8 if served as part of a meal.
Meal Effects: In addition to the normal effects of vinaigrette sauce, assassin vine salad provides resistance 10 to cold and fire for 1 hour. All durations (including vinaigrette sauce) are halved if served as part of a meal.
Time to Eat: 10 minutes (counts as one meal) or 5 minutes (counts as part of one meal).
Directions:
In a large bowl, whisk together vinagrette sauce, capers, and assassin vine leaves; season with salt and pepper powder. Halve the lemon and squeeze over the dish. Cast resist energy twice (choosing fire and cold, other energy resistances do not work) and toss with lettuce and cucumber. Craft (cooking) DC 10. Caster Level: Cook's character level, resist energy (x2), Market Price: 75 gp plus the non-enchanted rare ingredients (assassin vine leaves) and the vinagrette sauce, wt. 1/2 lb. per serving for meal, 1/5 lb. per serving for part of a meal.
Cook's Note: This salad is good by itself or with beef skirt steak, pan-seared halibut, or cockatrice eggs benedict.

 

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. It seems I hit a snag; but I took the initiative and dealt with it. The next person on our list was Duke Pierson, a most disagreeable person. I showed up at his estate backed by a group of sheriffs and politely asked for entrance to speak with his grace. The wall guards outright refused to take my request to the duke. I tried to explain that I was on a lawful mission, backed by the king's own sheriffs; but they threatened to set the dogs on us if we didn't leave quickly. The gate opened and a huge guard (most likely his huntsman) stepped through leading three of the biggest, meanest dogs I have ever seen. We left without another word.
I sent for Kaleb and explained to him what we needed and most especially that if he took anything else, we would be unable to protect him from the duke. He insisted on full compensation up front; but we compromised to half before and half after. He also wanted the duke to be elsewhere when he hit the estate; so we had to wait until the duke went hunting. Here is the page he found in Duke Pierson's personal quarters. I will send you a bill for Kaleb's services with another courier.
Ambrose

Tomato Sauce
Ingredients: 25 large tomatoes; 6 sprinkles of sea salt, finely ground; 12 olives pressed for oil, 1 drip of oil of the olive; 1 garlic clove, halved; 1 onion, finely chopped; 1 basil sprig; 1 bay leaf; 4 white peppercorns, finely ground
Sauce Effects: None found.
Directions:
Cut tomatoes in half horizontally. Squeeze out the seeds and discard. Press the cut side of tomato against the large holes of a grater and grate tomato flesh into a bowl. Discard skins. You should have about 1 jug of pulp.
In a kettle, add oil of the olive, chopped onion, and garlic on a flame bush fire and sauté until onion turns clear. Add 1/4 of the tomato pulp into the kettle (still over the flame bush fire). After 4-5 minutes, move to a peat fire and add rest of tomato pulp. Then add salt, basil, white pepper powder, and bay leaf. Stir. Move back to flame bush fire and bring to a boil, move kettle back to the peat fire for a brisk simmer.
Reduce the sauce by almost half, stirring occasionally, to produce about 2 mugs medium-thick sauce, 10 to 15 minutes.
Cost of Sauce: 1 gp, 4 sp, 2 cp plus cost of the flame bushes.
Cook's Note: To make this sauce extra spicy, I suggest adding a bit of ground cinnamon with the basil and squeezing a halved lemon over the finished sauce.


Elvish Way-Breadcrumbs
Transmutation
Ingredients: 1 sprinkle of sea salt, finely ground; 1 sprinkle of parsley, dried and finely ground; 7 black peppercorns, finely ground; 1/2 clove of garlic, finely ground; 1 sprinkle of onion, dried and finely ground; 1 sprinkle of oregano, dried and finely ground; 1 sprinkle of basil, dried and finely ground; 2 loaves of elvish waybread, sliced into 3 slices each.
Breadcrumb Effects: In addition to the effects of ambrosia (duration decreased to 2 rounds), elvish way-breadcrumbs provides a full meal's nutritional needs.
Directions:
Place slices of waybread on a rack over a spirewood fire for about 1-2 minutes (or one quick blast of a hellhound's breath). Let cool slightly and crumble into a large bowl. Add herbs, salt, and pepper powder. Mix and mash until the mixture is ground into fine crumbs.
Breadcrumb Cost: 5 gp plus cost of elvish waybread and spirewood.
Cook's Note: There is no better bread for making breadcrumbs. Enchanted elvish way-breadcrumbs do not provide any extra benefit. Different spices can make these breadcrumbs easily fit into nearly any meal plan.

Griffon Parmesan
Transmutation
Ingredients: 4 16 oz. griffon tenderloin steaks, tenderized and quartered; 2 sprinkles of sea salt, finely ground; 8 black peppercorns, finely ground; elvish way-breadcrumbs, 1 pouch; 1 egg, beaten; bovine butter, melted, 1 drip; 2 mugs tomato sauce; stench cow cheese, grated, 1 handful; sheep cheese, grated, 16 sprinkles
Serves: 8 (as a meal) or 16 (as an entree)
Time to Eat: 1/2 hour (counts as a meal) or 15 minutes (counts as a meal and duration for feather fall reduced to 1/2 hour).
Effects: In addition to the effect of elvish way-breadcrumbs, feather fall for one hour.
Directions:
Load a clay oven with mesquite wood. Pour 2/3 of tomato sauce into a large flat pan. Stir in the pepper powder, salt, and 1/2 of the goat cheese. In a separate bowl mix egg and butter, heat for 2 minutes on a pillow plant fire. Dip each griffon piece in the beaten egg and butter mixture. Coat both sides of each griffon piece with breadcrumbs, then add to sauce; turn to coat evenly both sides of each piece with sauce. Cover. Cook 30 minutes on uncured darkwood fire or until griffon meat is no longer pink in the center. Light clay oven. Top griffon meat with remaining cheeses; cook, uncovered, in clay oven, 5 minutes or until stench cow cheese is melted. Cast feather fall on meal and serve topped with more sauce.
Meal Cost: 8 gp, 7 sp plus cost of elvish waybread, stench kow cheese, uncured darkwood, mesquite wood, pillow plant, and griffon steaks.
Cook's Note:The duration is doubled if you use a giant eagle egg in place of the chicken egg, but a lot of the egg and butter mixture is left over. I need to find another special use for the giant eagle egg so there will be less waste.

 

[Gray Lensman]

[MENTION=10778]ElectricDragon[/MENTION]: This is great, the most original posts I have seen in months. Thank you

 

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
Here is a copy of the pages from the merchant that escaped to the island nations. My agents caught up with him and offered to buy the original. He said he had already sold it and several copies to other customers. He offered as many copies as we wanted, saying he could whip up a few more in just a couple of days if we wanted to wait. Seeing as there was no secret information on the document, I told most of my agents to continue in their search for the other carriers of other purloined pages who had traveled with this merchant and his caravan. If you wish me to instruct them to acquire the original of these pages, I need to know soonest, so I can assign them otherwise if not needed there.
Ambrose

THE SPICE OF LIFE
Spices and Herbs

Anise: Belonging to the celery family, this plant comes from the southern lands. Anise has a licorice flavor.
Cook's Note: Sweet rolls, cookies, pickles, and candies.

Basil: Belonging to the mint family this herb is one of the most widely used.
Cook's Note: Great for tomato sauces, pesto, vinaigrettes, and griffon dishes.

Bay Leaves: Dried leaves of the laurel shrub.
Cook's Note: In soups, stocks, sauces, marinades, and such.

Caraway Seed: Dried aromatic seeds from a herb of the carrot family.
Cook's Note: In rye bread, sauerkraut, cakes, and cookies, also in cheese. Introduced to me by a halfling cook.

Capers: Pickled flower-bud of a shrub that grows best in hot dry areas like the western parts of the empire.
Cook's Note: Sauces for fish and seafood. In fish, chicken, and potato dishes.

Cardamom Seed: Seeds belonging to the ginger family.
Cook's Note: The seeds are used for pickling, and assorted pastries.

Cayenne: Cayenne pepper is very hot and should be used only in small quantities (pinches or less). This pepper is usually red or yellow, and long and slender. It can be dried and ground.
Cook's Note: Meats, soups, sauces, chili, and seafood. Unusually, this is an elven specialty, though I do not know of any elven meals that specifically use this spice. It grows hardily in most areas; but the elvish-grown ones are especially hot. The elven ambassador explained it to me, but something must have gotten lost in the translation as I could swear he said to ash the plants, and I am not sure how burning the plant would help.

Chives: Fresh. Has a mild onion-like flavor.
Cook's Note: As a garnish, in soups or sauces, in salads, egg or potato dishes.

Cinnamon: Bark from various trees of the cinnamon family.
Cook's Note: Ground for bake goods or whole for pickles, hot drinks, and preserves.

Cloves: Rich and pungent in flavor. Dried flower bud of the clove tree.
Cook's Note: In pickling, baked hams, stocks, desserts, marinades, and spiced drinks.

Cumin: Member of the carrot family. Aromatic seeds. Warm bitter flavor.
Cook's Note: In pickles, spare ribs, and other meat dishes.

Coriander Seed: This herb of the carrot family, has the flavor of sage and lemon peel.
Cook's Note: Pickles and meat dishes.

Dill Seed: Dried fruit of the dill plant. Pungent in flavor.
Cook's Note: Great in pickles.

Dill Weed: Aromatic herb pertaining to the carrot family.
Cook's Note: Good with fish, potatoes, soups, and sauces.

Fennel Seed: Resembling dill, this aromatic herb of the carrot family has a distinct flavor all of its own.
Cook's Note: In rye bread, tomato sauces, bean, and lentil soups.

Garlic: Flavored bulb of the onion family. (used powdered, minced, or chopped)
Cook's Note: Used in almost any type of sauce for meats, seafood, or poultry. Great for pastas, soups, etc...

Ginger: Dried pungent root of a plant grown in the far eastern provinces.
Cook's Note: In pickles, chutney, and preserves. Imported from elvish lands.

Horseradish: Pungent perennial herb.
Cook's Note: Horseradish sauce, or grated as a condiment. At least this herb now grows in my gardens and no longer do I have to pay the exorbitant prices of the dwarven venders.

Licorice Root: The root of a woody bush with central flowers, imported from the island nations.
Cook's Note: Sweet, useful in candies, a bit put in your mouth relieves thirst. Also useful for coughs and colds.

Mace: The covering of the inner shell that holds nutmeg.
Cook's Note: Whole in pickling or ground in baked goods. Only found at Gnorri's Wares. Owned and operated by Gnorri, a gnome merchant who refuses to name his source.

Marjoram Leaves: This herb belonging to the mint family is potent in flavor.
Cook's Note: Poultry stuffing, sausage, stews, sauces, soups, veal dishes, meat dishes, and potato dishes.

Mint Leaves: Cool pungent flavored herb.
Cook's Note: As a garnish, used in lamb dishes.

Mustard Seed: Seed of the mustard plant.
Cook's Note: Pickling, sauces, and gravies. Another dwarven specialty, hopefully the banquet will lower the prices, though Eric says the mustard planting project is doing well just not producing yet. Ground into a powder, mustard is a necessary ingredient for dishes containing cockatrice eggs.

Nutmeg: From the nutmeg tree (I have no idea where it grows) this kernel of fruit is one of the oldest of known spices and also one of the most rare.
Cook's Note: In cream soups, and sauces, and a wide variety of desserts. Only found at Gnorri's Wares, a merchant's shop in the central capitol. Eric has dispatched spies to follow him and learn his source. His prices are especially atrocious.

Oregano Leaves: Wild marjoram.
Cook's Note: In soups, sauces, meat stews, and in bean dishes.

Paprika: A form of red pepper; the method of grinding determines the flavor.
Cook's Note: For mild flavor and coloring of seafood, egg dishes, sauces, and salad dressings.

Parsley: Fresh or dried.
Cook's Note: To garnish or season stocks, soups, sauces, salads, egg, and potato dishes.

Pepper (Black or White): Black pepper is the immature berries. White pepper is the mature berries with the hull removed.
Cook's Note: Whole in stocks, and pickling. Ground in most other dishes. Black pepper is an important spice for meals containing griffon meat.

Pimiento: Ripe fleshy fruit of a sweet red pepper plant.
Cook's Note: Garnish for salads, soups, or entrees. Mild flavor for soups, salads, stews, and vinaigrettes.

Poppy Seed: Very small seeds of the poppy plant.
Cook's Note: In baking of breads, rolls, cakes, and cookies.

Red Pepper: Whole, ground, or crushed hot red peppers.
Cook's Note: A variety of uses where heat is desired; such as in sauces, soups, egg dishes, etc...

Rosemary Leaves: Belonging to the mint family.
Cook's Note: Stuffing, roasted dishes such as lamb, pork, beef, poultry, and wild game.

Saffron: From a species of the purple crocus this is the dried stigma. Imported from the island nations.
Cook's Note: For mild flavor and yellow coloring. Dishes using dragon eggs taste better with a bit of saffron added.

Sage: A dried leaf of a shrub belonging to the mint family.
Cook's Note: Strong in flavor. Used to season stuffing, pork, poultry, and veal dishes.

Sesame Seed: Creamy white in color with the flavor of toasted almonds.
Cook's Note: In baking such as rolls, and breads. I am still experimenting with the oil of these seeds. I am hopeful I will find something spectacular.

Shallots: Fresh. A type of small onion.
Cook's Note: Like garlic to flavor a variety of dishes. Great in vinaigrettes, and sauces.

Tarragon Leaves: Aromatic leaves of a bitter flavor.
Cook's Note: Egg, seafood, and poultry dishes.

Thyme Leaves: A rich flavored herb. Fresh leaves or dried and ground.
Cook's Note: Seafood chowders, sauces, stocks, and meat dishes.

Turmeric: Mustard flavored, root plant of the ginger family.
Cook's Note: In food coloring (egg shade), meat, and egg dishes. Dwarven spice, so, important banquet coming up; must impress them.

 

[ElectricDragon]

Eric,
Kerrik has taken care of our merchant problem. He acquired 6 copies of the pages plus the original still in the merchant's safe (I did not ask how he got the safe open, he has no lock-picking skills). He also got a list of buyers of copies, but thinks it unwise to deal with so many so permanently. I took the liberty of dispatching Kaleb to re-acquire all copies. He will take care of his own expenses; needing only the agreed-upon price for each page. The merchant also had these two pages in his safe, though he claimed to my agents not to have any more. I am glad we dealt with him permanently.
Ambrose

Magic of the Kitchen
Necessary kitchen utensils I have found locally or imported on consignment to a local merchant. I have found a use for all of the mundane and masterwork items. I am still looking for several of the "purported" magic items for the kitchen, but the descriptions are from a reliable source.
Mundane
With a bit of searching, I found the necessary cooking apparatuses in the capitol market; though several had to be imported from afar, notably the gnomish machines (the prices for these include the transportation costs).

Cauldron, Hearth: Hearth Cauldrons are large iron pots often used for preparing large quantities of food or other items such as a witches brew. Hearth Cauldrons are heavy and often left on large metal movable brackets that allow for easy movement of the cauldron over fires. Some cauldrons are often masterfully decorated by whitesmiths to create more lustrous and beautiful cauldrons. Market Price: 80-120 gp; Wt. 50 lb.; Holds: 5 gallons

Cauldron, Travelling: The traveling cauldron is a small version of the hearth cauldron and it is often decorated by whitesmiths to make them more interesting and appealing to the would-be purchaser. These cauldrons are portable and thinner than the regular cauldron, allowing for easier transportation. Market Price: 25 gp; Wt. 2 lb.; Holds: 1/2 gallon

Iron Handmil: A gnomish contraption consisting of gears and a central grinding chamber where grains, peppercorns, spices, and/or nuts can be finely ground. The mil must be securely fastened to a table or other piece of heavy furniture. Market Price: 300 gp; Wt. 25 lb.; Holds: 1/2 gallon liquid or dry.

Jug, Clay: Simple pottery for common use. Can hold any liquid and comes with a cork or wood stopper. Market Price: 3 cp; Wt. 9 lb.; Holds: 1 gallon.

Kettle, Large: Another name for traveling cauldron.

Kettle, Small: An even smaller version of the cauldron, useful for sauces, or soups/stews for smaller banquets. Market Price: 15 gp; Wt. 1 lb.; Holds: 1 quart.

Mug: A fired clay, steel, horn, or wooden cup with a handle. Market Price: 7 cp (wooden), 2 sp (fired clay), 6 sp (horn), 1 gp (steel); Wt. (empty) 1/2 lb. (wooden or clay), 1 lb. (steel or horn) (+1 lb. full); Holds: 10 ounces.

Olive Press: Another gnomish invention that squeezes olives to produce oil used for cooking certain meals. This is no small contraption: it takes up a 5-foot square space. A crank on the side operates the machine and squeezes the olives to produce oil out a spigot that can be caught in a bowl or bucket.
Cook's Note: Can be adapted to peanuts, sesame seeds, or mustard seeds for other intriguing oils. Market Price: 350 gp; Wt. 500 lb.; Holds: up to 50 lbs. of goods.

Spice Rack: A wooden shelf that holds 4 to eight bottles that can be filled with various commonly used spices. Usually hung on a wall in the kitchen. Alchemists also buy these but for more esoteric (and mostly inedible) ingredients. Market Price: 7 sp; Wt. 2 lb.; Holds: 1 ounce each of up to 8 spices. Spices sold separately.

Wine Press: A gnomish contraption consisting of a large wooden box with a hinged lid. On one side is a crank. Once the hopper (the box) if full of grapes and the lid closed; the crank turns out grape juice that can be fermented to turn it into wine. I am afraid the process is confusing to me like all powerful magics. Market Price: 200 gp; Wt. 15 lbs.; Holds: Up to 5 lbs. of grapes at a time.

Masterwork
Circumstance bonuses for the Craft (cooking) skill may stack if they apply to different parts of the meal preparation process.

Cook's Knife and Fork Set:
A masterwork version of normal cooking tools. Provides a +2 circumstance bonus to Craft (cooking) checks while using these implements. The set includes 2 large skewering forks and 5 quality knives (paring knife, chef's knife, boning knife, fillet knife, and cleaver). Market Price: 60 gp; Wt. 5 lb.
Note: For combat: Chef's knife is equivalent to a knife; paring, boning, and fillet knives are equivalent to Small knives; cleaver is equivalent to a light mace but is slashing instead of bludgeoning; the two skewering forks are equivalent to a Small siangham. All are considered simple weapons, but the masterwork quality does not translate to a combat bonus.

Mortar and Pestle:
An item usually reserved for alchemists and apothecaries, I have found usage in meal preparation for grinding and mixing ingredients. Provides a +2 circumstance bonus to Craft (alchemy), Craft (apothecary), and Craft (cooking) checks when used to grind or mix ingredients. Market Price: 53 gp; Wt. 1 1/2 lb.

Scale, Cook's:
For accurate measuring of spices and herbs: weights are available for both solid and liquid measurements. Only for the common measurements used in the capitol. Elvish or Dwarven versions may be available closer to their lands. The island nations have nothing like this. Provides a +2 circumstance bonus to Craft (cooking) checks if used for quality measurements. Market Price: 15 gp; Wt. 5 lb.
Cook's Note: Personally, I just decide on the spicing at the moment, the amounts listed in recipes are just general guidelines; sometimes you have to feel the meal's need for more or less as a proper cook.

Soaking Bowl:
A darkwood bowl about 2 feet wide and 1 foot deep that gives a +2 circumstance bonus to the Craft (apothecary) or Craft (alchemy) check to create any substance mixed in the bowl. Market Price: 52 gp; Wt. 2-1/2 lb.

Magical
I have found only a few magic items that aid in the cooking or preparing of food. Below, I delineate each one.

Apprentice's Spice Rack:
This small shelf contains 5 small bottles securely. Upon speaking a command word, one bottle sparkles and fills with the appropriate spice or combination of spices to enhance the flavor of the proposed meal. Once it sparkles, the bottle can be easily removed. The bottle will continue to sparkle for 10 minutes or until the spices it contains are used, whichever comes first. The bottle must be returned to the spice rack in order to recharge. Each bottle can be used only once per day. The spice rack has 5 charges, 1 for each bottle. Only one charge re-grows per week as long as at least one bottle remains in the rack. While in the rack, the bottles are immune to crushing, bludgeoning, and falling damage. Forcibly removing a non-sparkling bottle will destroy the spice rack.
Using one of these bottles on a meal provides the cook with a +2 competence bonus to the Craft (cooking) skill. Meals enhanced by this effect allow those eating the meal to recover hp as if they had rested for one day.
Faint conjuration; Cl 3rd; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, spice; Market Price: 1,953 gp.

Cauldron of Cooking:
This is a traveling cauldron, decorated by whitesmiths with hunting scenes. This cauldron is even lighter than normal. Anyone cooking a meal using this cauldron gains a +2 circumstance bonus to their Craft (cooking) check and a +2 competence bonus to the same skill. Furthermore, the cook gains a +4 competence bonus on Diplomacy checks made against anyone that ate the meal for up to one hour after the meal is eaten.
Faint transmutation; CL 4th; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, fox's cunning, eagle's splendor; Market Price: 1,875 gp.

Chef's Cutlery:
This is an enchanted set of cutlery useful for cooking. The set of cutlery includes 7 knives of various types. Not only does the cook receive a +2 circumstance bonus to his Craft (cooking) check, but also he receives a further competence bonus according to the strength of the set of items. +2, +4, +6, +8, or +10. Further, two of the knives can be used as +1 magic weapons: the Chef's Knife (use dagger) and the Cleaver (use light mace with slashing instead of bludgeoning) no matter the strength of the enchantment. Both are considered simple weapons.
Faint to Moderate enchantment; CL (2 times the competence bonus); Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, magic weapon; Market Price: 3,005 gp (+2), 4,205 gp (+4), 6,205 gp (+6), 9,005 gp (+8), 12,605 gp (+10)

Chef's Spice Rack:
As apprentice's spice rack but this one holds 15 bottles, has 15 charges, and charges grow back at the rate of 3 per day.
Moderate conjuration; CL 7th; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, spice; Market Price: 10,953 gp.

Cook's Spice Rack:
As apprentice's spice rack but this one holds 10 bottles, has 10 charges, and charges grow back at the rate of 1 per day.
Faint conjuration; CL 5th; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, spice; Market Price: 5,453 gp

Season-All:
A light-brown powder that correctly spices foods with the proper taste (according to the person that uses it). Comes in small parchment packets, each enough to make one meal tasty (one packet can work on a meal for up to 12 persons). Usually 2-12 packets are found together. Does not affect magically putrefied food, but makes otherwise inedible food taste good without removing the reason for the bad taste.
Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Prerequisites: Brew Potion, spice or Craft (alchemy) DC 15, spice; Market Price 75 gp per packet.

Sustaining Spoon:
This unremarkable eating utensil is typically fashioned from horn. If the spoon is placed in an empty container the vessel fills with a thick, pasty gruel. Although this substance has a flavor similar to that of warm, wet cardboard, it is highly nourishing and contains everything necessary to sustain any herbivorous, omnivorous, or carnivorous creature. The spoon can produce sufficient gruel each day to feed up to four humans.
Faint conjuration; CL 5th; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, create food and water; Market Price 5,400 gp.

Unguent of Timelessness:
When applied to any matter that was once alive this ointment allows that substance to resist the passage of time. Each year of actual time affects the substance as if only a day had passed. The coated object gains a +1 resistance bonus on all saving throws. The unguent never wears off, although it can be magically removed (by dispelling the effect, for instance). One flask contains enough material to coat eight Medium or smaller objects. A Large object counts as two Medium objects, and a Huge object counts as two Large objects.
Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Prerequisite: Craft Wondrous Item; Market Price 150 gp.
Cook's Note: According to Ambrose, this ointment could keep the chowder fresh forever. I told him to find me some, enough for 4 large objects and some extra. He seems to be procrastinating about acquiring some of this marvelous substance. How hard could it be?

 

[ElectricDragon]

Sorry for the delay, working on chocolate mousse led me to the realization that I needed a whole slew of other recipes to make it. Whipped cream, chocolate, vanilla, custard, cream cheese, and others. I am working on it, but it will take a bit longer.