Parental advice needed

[Blessed Kitten]

My opinion is that these things don't affect kids as much as people like to make out. As he grows up he'll pretend that he's a knight or cowboy, or whatever, waving a sword in the air a pretend gun, killing imaginary bad guys. Kids like those sort of movies as well. I've never known anyone who watched violent/horror/fanatasy films as a kid and turned out funny.

I agree with this. When I was a kid, the aesthetic of the action movie turned me in my fantasy life into what was essentially a walking genocide. By the time I was 15, however, I was a pacifist, a raging feminist and a vegetarian. Exposing children to context and critical thinking skills are far more meaningful than any particular media.

I have a friend who lets her 4-5 year old daughter watch lots of horror movies and the like, as well not shielding her from tasteful depictions of the human form and sexuality. Her daughter is the most articulate and well-balanced kid I have met. As someone who hates children with a passion, that means a lot coming from me.

What I do think is really harmful to children is advertising. It is a very powerful medium carefully engineered to soley breed materialistic desire. In my opinion, this creates a state of mind that can only lead to terminal unfulfillment.

And not to denigrate your life decisions, but I have personally found vasectomy to be a very effective tool for solving these kinds of problems before they arise.

 

[DarkMaster]

Thanks for your answers, I think it's definitively time to store away the five swords that didn't fit in the locked box. (the two handed sword and the bastard sword will need a special storage box). He is very good and listen to me, almost always asking me if he can touch before doing anything. But I don't want to take any chances, as they grow they realise their freedom.

Someone mention the nightmare, it's very true, my son saw the wizards of Oz of few weeks ago and is still talking to me about the witch and here fiery broom. He wakes up in the night asking the witch to go away.

I also noticed that Discovery channel can lead to nightmares with baboon eating pink flamingo and shark attacking other fishes.

I have a second boy on the way and my wife is getting scared I think that in a few years the house will become a battlefield .

 

[DarkMaster]

And not to denigrate your life decisions, but I have personally found vasectomy to be a very effective tool for solving these kinds of problems before they arise.

Well .... I don't really like children generally, but when you have one of your own things are completly different.

But I do respect people who don't want children, I personally don't beleive that everybody is made to be a parent.

 

[mythago]

Do you think that watching these types of movie so young can have a bad influence on him.

At his age? Yes.

First, because kids that little do not differentiate between fantasy and reality well. At six or seven, he will understand that the people in the film are actors and don't really die, that if you hit a real person with a sword you will hurt them, and so on. Not-quite-three is, as you saw with his Wizard of Oz nightmares, not old enough to get that.

Second, not all violent fantasy is alike. I think we can all tell the difference between reading Grimm's Fairy Tales to a child and taking him to see Kill Bill. (At least, I hope so.)

Blessed Kitten, with all due respect, I don't know if I would take the word of somebody who "hates children with a passion" as a good guide for how well-adjusted a child is, much less a predictor of how great that kid is going to turn out ten years down the road.

 

[warlord]

I can see why that would concern you but I think it could be the start of the "warrior" phase where he just thinks warriors are cool. Also I would recomend reading to him instead of plunking him dow infront of badly made disney movies. Afterall its never to early to introduce a kid to fantasy fiction and "the hobbit" is a great children's story.

 

[DarkMaster]

warlord I do read him a lot of children books and he appreciate them a lot. He is actually scared of the wolf in the three little pig

Just realised that he is scared by many things.

 

[Blessed Kitten]

Blessed Kitten, with all due respect, I don't know if I would take the word of somebody who "hates children with a passion" as a good guide for how well-adjusted a child is, much less a predictor of how great that kid is going to turn out ten years down the road.

Well, let me expand on that a little then. I hate the concept of children. By that I mean I can't stand the hyper-natalist "babies are the answer to all of life's problem" culture that I perceive in presently the USA. I think it is destructive and highly irresponsible, and I see it as being fueled in combination by a widespread desire to supplant real morality and ethics with arbitrary tradition in order to satisfy a conservative fantasy to recreate a world that never was, as well as the ever hungrier bottom line of the coporate world and its desire for stable markets and cheap labor. For quite some time, I also have been a strong proponent of negative population growth as a necessity for a universally acceptable quality of life for the majority of the world population. Combined with the fact that I find most children thoroughly unpleasant company, which I feel is in part due to lax and often poor parenting practices, my general sentiment towards human young is not overly positive. It's generally much more convenient to say that I hate children, although in retrospect that comment was a bit misleading for the sake of brevity.

And you're right, I'm not a exactly a developmental psychologist, and I'm probably not the best judge of how a child will end up. I do know however, that the girl that I mentioned appears to brighter, more engaged and well rounded than any other child that age that I have interacted with. And most importantly, she has an actively engaged mother, who is patient, caring and understanding, which in my estimation renders trivial the impact of even a consistent pattern of media viewing.

 

[Raloc]

I suggest that you read Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and Make-Believe Violence by Gerard Jones. From Publishers Weekly:

Violent entertainment is good for kids, and demonizing it can do great harm to their emotional development, claims Jones (Honey, I'm Home!) in this provocative and groundbreaking work. Drawing on his experience as a parent and as a creator of children's cartoons, as well as interviews with dozens of psychologists and educators, Jones forcefully argues that violent video games, movies, music and comics provide a safe fantasy world within which children learn to become familiar with and control the frightening emotions of anger, violence and sexuality. He debunks studies linking violent media with violence in society and argues that children clearly understand the difference between pretend and reality. Providing realistic and helpful advice, Jones says parents need to learn to differentiate between what violent games mean to children and what they mean to adults, and to stop imposing their understanding of them on children. Adults may be horrified at the literal meaning of a video game, but children are far more interested in its emotional meaning; "through identifying with a fantasy figure who displays intense sexuality, wields destructive power, and exudes heroism, kids can help themselves feel more control over these forces." Jones speaks to adult fears of the power of popular culture and cautions that "entertainment has its greatest influence when it's speaking to something that isn't otherwise being addressed in a child's life." To lessen the impact, adults should "model nonaggression, empathy, respect, a clear distinction between fantasy and reality, and the integration of aggression and other scary feelings."​

This is basically what I've known of the issue for quite a while.

 

[Henry]

He is actually scared of the wolf in the three little pig

Just realised that he is scared by many things.

Not an abnormal thing for a three-year old.

 

[DarkMaster]

Kitten, you got to be careful with negative natality rate as the solution for quality of life. Without young people to fuel your economy, your quality of life as you become an elderly will quickly erode. Having 50% of your population being retired from which 50% need at least a minimum care, doesn't lead to a high quality of life.

As a whole I agree that human population should be more controled. But the word controled here is important. Drastically reducing population growth would lead to disaster 20-30 years down the line.

If you don't have a lot of money, then you won't have enough to eat your house and feed yourself because these things will become extremely expensive (extreme lack of Labor usually makes thing very expensive). As you get old you will be left for weeks in your diapers because no one is here to take care of you.

I don't know, completly stopping from having children is not an option. Controlled population could be.