Wulf Ratbane
Adventurer
DarkMaster said:
Black and white? Common sense?
You neanderthal.
Where's the moral relativism? Won't somebody think of the children!
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Parental advice needed
- Thread starter DarkMaster
- Start date
Black and white? Common sense?
You neanderthal.
Where's the moral relativism? Won't somebody think of the children!
Taren Nighteyes
First Post
I've got a 5 year old and almost 8 year old. Needless to say, I've had the discussions with my wife on what our children can and can't watch. I'm a bit more liberal than my wife, so we go a more conservative route than I would have otherwise chosen.
Pretty much all PG-13 stuff is out until the age of 10 (depends on maturity). Most PG and all G stuff is fine. As for television - we stay away from most stuff that isn't on the kids channels due to the innuendos in comedies and the adult themes in most dramas.
It's not that we are sheltering our children, as much as letting them view/have access to things that they can better understand and think through at the appropriate level of maturity. Besides, my son is a big influence on my daughter, and I don't want him to scare her more than he already does
I'm am just expressing my experiences and in no way condemn or proclaim that what I do is the best way to do things.
Good luck to everyone who has or will have children!
Taren Nighteyes
Pretty much all PG-13 stuff is out until the age of 10 (depends on maturity). Most PG and all G stuff is fine. As for television - we stay away from most stuff that isn't on the kids channels due to the innuendos in comedies and the adult themes in most dramas.
It's not that we are sheltering our children, as much as letting them view/have access to things that they can better understand and think through at the appropriate level of maturity. Besides, my son is a big influence on my daughter, and I don't want him to scare her more than he already does
I'm am just expressing my experiences and in no way condemn or proclaim that what I do is the best way to do things.
Good luck to everyone who has or will have children!
Taren Nighteyes
Krieg
First Post
DarkMaster it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on the situation so you shouldn't worry overly much. You're doing fine. 
PS - Anyone who believes the overpopulation hysteria should seriously think about taking a look at the UN report "Replacement Migration: Is it a Solution to Declining and Aging Populations?" or perhaps Walter Williams' "Why do we listen to fools?".
PS - Anyone who believes the overpopulation hysteria should seriously think about taking a look at the UN report "Replacement Migration: Is it a Solution to Declining and Aging Populations?" or perhaps Walter Williams' "Why do we listen to fools?".
Michelle Lyons
Explorer
I have two boys, 5 and 7. We've been fairly careful about what they watch, though their father is a bit more liberal in what he'll allow (mostly because he wants to watch it) than I am. That being said... they're boys. They "fight." They also actually fight. They'll wrestle and run and jump on one another and be good buys and bad guys no matter what you do. That's just the way they are.
The thing you can do is what you've already done; make sure they have a framework for their play, and that they learn important differences as they grow. With my boys, for example, they love to pick up things and have them be swords. Toy swords, sticks, whatever they can find. Short of watching them constantly and taking away anything long and thin, it's unpreventable, even if I wished to do so. Instead, I've found padded boffer swords that I buy and give to them, or soft flexible rubber ones. That way, should they miss and hit one another accidentally despite the rules I've given them (we only hit sword to sword, not sword to person) no one will be hurt.
We talk about the difference between real and pretend, when it's okay to fight and when it's not, and how you can play fight without getting hurt. We talk about the movies they see and why the characters made the choices they did. We even roleplay a bit, and talk about why they decide to do certain things and what comes of that.
So no, it won't hurt him. Just put away the real swords, give him a framework to play within, and enjoy le petit guerrier. Oh, and have a camera ready. You'll want pictures of this when he's 20.
The thing you can do is what you've already done; make sure they have a framework for their play, and that they learn important differences as they grow. With my boys, for example, they love to pick up things and have them be swords. Toy swords, sticks, whatever they can find. Short of watching them constantly and taking away anything long and thin, it's unpreventable, even if I wished to do so. Instead, I've found padded boffer swords that I buy and give to them, or soft flexible rubber ones. That way, should they miss and hit one another accidentally despite the rules I've given them (we only hit sword to sword, not sword to person) no one will be hurt.
We talk about the difference between real and pretend, when it's okay to fight and when it's not, and how you can play fight without getting hurt. We talk about the movies they see and why the characters made the choices they did. We even roleplay a bit, and talk about why they decide to do certain things and what comes of that.
So no, it won't hurt him. Just put away the real swords, give him a framework to play within, and enjoy le petit guerrier.
Oh, and have a camera ready. You'll want pictures of this when he's 20.
Desdichado
Hero
I've found that a few hits to the knuckles with a stick is a better teacher --not to mention a relatively harmless one-- than me telling them to cut it out before someone gets hurt. My philosophy is essentially to let 'em get hurt, as long as it's not serious. They'll either learn to deal with it, which is a good thing, or they'll learn to avoid it, which is too. And either way, they'll learn it a heckuva lot better than if it's just me telling them.Michelle Lyons said:
Blessed Kitten
First Post
Krieg said:
reveal said:
I formally apologize for mentioning an issue not directly related to the thread topic, especially given the potentially provocative nature of the subject. It was also potentially a violation of the forums' interdict on political discussion. It did not serve to meaningfully advance the thread and has propagated further off topic and potentially prohibited comments by myself and others.
Sincerely,
-The Blessed Kitten
reveal
Adventurer
Joshua Dyal said:
My son is pretty clumsy. He'll step on things or fall over something and then cry if it hurts. It usually plays out like this:
"OWWW!"
"You ok?" *comfort* "What happened?"
"I hurt."
"Then you really need to watch out where you're going."
Basically, I try to get him to realize that he's only in pain because he wasn't watching what he was doing. I also make sure he doesn't touch hot things because it will hurt if he does. He's usually really good about not touching them, but I'm just waiting for the day when he decides to "test" my theory.
Desdichado
Hero
How old is he, though? It's a bit harder to learn when you're younger, but my older kids can learn a few things the hard way as long as it's not actually dangerous.
It works for other things too; let them feel the pain of their consequences when the consequences aren't really a big deal (but they seem to be to them) and they'll be much more responsible.
My daughter only forgot her shoes (and thus had to wear her snow boots all day at school, which she thought was pretty embarassing) once. When she called home to ask my wife to bring her her shoes, the answer was, "tough luck. Next time don't forget them." Said nicely, of course! Like I said, it hasn't happened again.
Along those same lines, my older son has dropped the ball on a few homework assignments, and been very stressed out about it. My philosophy is that it's better to flunk a handful of minor assignments in 2nd and 3rd grade than to not learn to be more responsible about your homework long before you get to High School, or worse, college or your career. He's also become much more responsible simply by virtue of the fact that we made him responsible and refused to accept responsibility for things we decided that he needed to do, and not us.
Anyway, I may have gone a bit far afield; but I'd take those same principles and apply them to playing swords and whatnot. It is my responsibility as the father to make sure my kids don't have access to movies that they aren't prepared to watch. So, don't expect me to sit down with the kids and my copy of Die Hard anytime soon. It also is my responsibility to make sure that my kids aren't playing in such a way that it's actually dangerous. But it's also my responsibility to make sure my kids can learn to make decisions about what to watch and what to play on their own that are responsible decisions. And they won't ever learn that if I don't give them the opportunity to make the decision, even if I wince at what they decide every so often.
Eh... sorry for the sorta threadjack.
It works for other things too; let them feel the pain of their consequences when the consequences aren't really a big deal (but they seem to be to them) and they'll be much more responsible.
My daughter only forgot her shoes (and thus had to wear her snow boots all day at school, which she thought was pretty embarassing) once. When she called home to ask my wife to bring her her shoes, the answer was, "tough luck. Next time don't forget them." Said nicely, of course! Like I said, it hasn't happened again.
Along those same lines, my older son has dropped the ball on a few homework assignments, and been very stressed out about it. My philosophy is that it's better to flunk a handful of minor assignments in 2nd and 3rd grade than to not learn to be more responsible about your homework long before you get to High School, or worse, college or your career. He's also become much more responsible simply by virtue of the fact that we made him responsible and refused to accept responsibility for things we decided that he needed to do, and not us.
Anyway, I may have gone a bit far afield; but I'd take those same principles and apply them to playing swords and whatnot. It is my responsibility as the father to make sure my kids don't have access to movies that they aren't prepared to watch. So, don't expect me to sit down with the kids and my copy of Die Hard anytime soon. It also is my responsibility to make sure that my kids aren't playing in such a way that it's actually dangerous. But it's also my responsibility to make sure my kids can learn to make decisions about what to watch and what to play on their own that are responsible decisions. And they won't ever learn that if I don't give them the opportunity to make the decision, even if I wince at what they decide every so often.
Eh... sorry for the sorta threadjack.
