But you don't control the actions completely - only the attempts. Whomever sets difficulties and calls for rolls controls the outcome in most games.For me it's not about how much authority I have, though. I could have more authority over other aspects of the game and I would feel the same way. For me it's about the PC being mine. I'm the only one, barring some sort of mechanical means like charm, who gets to control what he feels and does.
I understand that. While I haven't played as many different games you or [MENTION=42582]pemerton[/MENTION] has, I have played other RPGs and experienced differences. I'm not saying the games that allow others to assert control over PCs are bad. They just aren't for me.
The nearly universal pattern is...
Player states action attempt
GM either calls for a roll, states something in response, or indicates continuance (silently or not)
The player steps out of character mode into game mode, makes the roll
The GM takes the result of the roll and narrates the outcome of the action.
Exceptions are notable for being such:
Burning Wheel, both sides have to agree to the stakes, or the player has to abandon the action.
Brute squad has the order different (state attempt; roll dice; GM indicates success or failure; player narrates result. Repeat)
Mouse Guard also plays with player autonomy heavily... reducing it a lot.