Pregnant Players & The Effect On Games

[GQuail]

Bull. We traveled just fine with two kids. Get a Pack-n-Play. At a certain point, yes, you need to make arrangements, but the first year is a breeze. I'm not saying the parents should be inconvenienced, just that moving the game isn't a requirement. We had a "play at the DM's house" table rule and kept it. Fortunately, the DM also had a kid-proofed house (that's a side note, BTW), so we were able to continue gaming at his house for some time. I took over the game before child #3, so I can't tell you how that would work, but I suspect not as well -- both because of number and the age of the eldest.

We've always played in an area that had a couch. My wife would sit on or behind the couch, facing away from the group while she fed.

Both of these are, unfortunately, not as much use in my own circumstances. There just isn't the space in my flat do get a crib-like-thing set up, or at least not without an awful lot of rejigging in general. (Although that might not be a bad investment in the long run.) And seating is at a premium as it is - seating facing away from the GM would also be a bit awkward. (Although we do have a kitchenette right next to the play area where someone could retire for semi-privacy, I suppose.)

A certain amount of that was because it would have been understandably distracting to the 17 year-old male (among others) in the group, but it was also due, in part, to her own modesty and babies feed better when there isn't a bunch of movement around them.

Yeah, that's an important point which perhaps gets lost when discussing this issue - it isn't always the men who are the embarrased or awkward ones over breast-feeding in public.

 

[Agamon]

I was playing in a STAP game last year, for about a year, but two of the players got pregnant (wives of the gm and a player) at pretty much the same time, and the game ended about a month before the first birth. We got to 8th level, and knowing what I know now, having DMed the whole AoW AP, we could have had fun for a few more months, but we quit at a good time anyway.

They still game, mind you, but that particular game and group are done.

 

[Mercule]

Both of these are, unfortunately, not as much use in my own circumstances. There just isn't the space in my flat do get a crib-like-thing set up, or at least not without an awful lot of rejigging in general. (Although that might not be a bad investment in the long run.) And seating is at a premium as it is - seating facing away from the GM would also be a bit awkward. (Although we do have a kitchenette right next to the play area where someone could retire for semi-privacy, I suppose.)

Yeah, if the play area isn't suited to the group, it might be time to move. The kitchenette might work -- it doesn't take that long to nurse, and you have to make allowances for others moving mom's mini. Depending on the length of play and intensity, you could also pause the game for 15-20 minutes. If dad's part of the group, he should be capable of helping mom set up and tear down what's needed -- surely he's not squeamish about the sight of her breast.

The Pack-n-Play takes up a 3' square (cube, actually), so it isn't particularly large. It also packs down to a 3'x6"x6" box that's easy to carry. I think I can put ours up or take it down in less than 2 minutes. Regardless of gaming or not, I definitely recommend every parent get one of these things.

I wouldn't set it up in the gaming area, though. At least not for sleep -- babies are more adaptable than most non-parents think, but distractions still keep them awake. We were fortunate to have a spare room at our DM's house to set up in.

 

[Silver Moon]

Another topic related humorous story:

The single funniest moment in our gaming group did not occur as a result of a gaming situation but rather a snack at the table. In our household my wife and I can never agree on milk, as I prefer the taste of whole milk or 2% while she goes for the healthier skim milk. Consequently, whenever either of us uses milk in a recipe we use the kind that we prefer ourself.

One day, a few weeks after our daughter was born, she cooked up a batch of brownies for the weekly game. After they were served the group began to devour them, complimenting her on how good they tasted. She then said "And they're even healthy for you, because I made them with my milk." As everyone began to either gag or spit out their food she realized what she had said, and quickly explained that she meant skim milk.

 

[Breschau of Livonia]

My own experiences from my group, your mileage will of course vary.

When my wife, who used to game with us, was pregnant, the 2nd trimester was brutal on her. Friday evening gaming just didn't work for her - she was just too darn tired to game - or do much of anything during that trimester.

After baby #1 was born we took a hiatus from gaming for a few months. For her however, her interest in gaming was pretty diminished - it was always a bigger thing for me than for her in any case and her priorities changed after baby - so she decided to drop gaming.

Becoming a parent does change you, no doubt about it. I too wound up giving up/losing interest various hobbies and optional activities like sleep after becoming a dad. I still enjoy gaming quite a bit and my wife still likes to bake, so her cooking and baking for "Daddy's playgroup" works well for both us and her. And the kids like seeing my playgroup come over as well.

Echoing what others say, the first year isn't all that bad. It's a massive change to your life to be sure, but the kids are pretty immobile. You can pretty much take them wherever you go. As they get older it becomes more of a challenge. (I have two daughters - 3 and 6)

 

[justanobody]

Another topic related humorous story:

The single funniest moment in our gaming group did not occur as a result of a gaming situation but rather a snack at the table. In our household my wife and I can never agree on milk, as I prefer the taste of whole milk or 2% while she goes for the healthier skim milk. Consequently, whenever either of us uses milk in a recipe we use the kind that we prefer ourself.

One day, a few weeks after our daughter was born, she cooked up a batch of brownies for the weekly game. After they were served the group began to devour them, complimenting her on how good they tasted. She then said "And they're even healthy for you, because I made them with my milk." As everyone began to either gag or spit out their food she realized what she had said, and quickly explained that she meant skim milk.

Now that is something worthy of a youtube video to see the reactions and response of!

 

[CharlesRyan]

The single funniest moment in our gaming group did not occur as a result of a gaming situation but rather a snack at the table. In our household my wife and I can never agree on milk, as I prefer the taste of whole milk or 2% while she goes for the healthier skim milk. Consequently, whenever either of us uses milk in a recipe we use the kind that we prefer ourself.

One day, a few weeks after our daughter was born, she cooked up a batch of brownies for the weekly game. After they were served the group began to devour them, complimenting her on how good they tasted. She then said "And they're even healthy for you, because I made them with my milk." As everyone began to either gag or spit out their food she realized what she had said, and quickly explained that she meant skim milk.

Awesome!

 

[Mr Baron]

No worries until about 2 years afterwards when the 2 year old climbs on the table and wants to play with the mini's.

I am still optimistic that this is really a good sign, even though some of my figs don't agree

 

[S'mon]

I have a lot of lead and pewter figs but I've invested in a whole bunch of plastic WotC minis (bought as singles) in preparation for when my 17 month old becomes a gamer.

I think the best deal was 6 Hill Giant barbarians at £1.99 each - ideal for Steading of the Hill Giant Chief! Though the actual hill giant chief mini was a painful £6.99.

 

[GQuail]

As for your particular circumstances, a bit hard for me to relate to a campaign that long. I would think that the next 5 or 6 months would give you enough time to bring the game to some kind of a stopping point where you can either end it or put it on hold until whenever the players are ready again. But since my campaigns usually only last between 9 months and a year (by design) I may not be the best person to ask.

It's not so much that I can't end the game - as you say, I've got 5 or six months, and that's easilly thirty odd sessions. The problem is ending the game well. After all those years there's a lot of loose plot threads which really need to be brought together before completion; the group are in the middle of a fetch quest (akin to the wand of seven parts) which might be awkward to drop midway; and my group just aren't very good at focusing on gaming, leading to quite a few sessions were not much happens. It looks like I';ve got thirty or so sessions left to go from 0 to Epic End, but it feels a lot more constraining in practice.

The real concern I have is that ending to a timetable rather than when I felt comfortable with ending will lead to a poor campaign end and, by extension, a poor campaign memory overall. ("The last jazz note is the most important" and all that) There have been a few other occasions in the past where I'd had to amend the game because of real-life events - for example, one player gave me a weeks notice that he was leaving for a year and so we had to restart from our hiatus earlier, cram two sessions in one week and blast through a plot I had in mind for four to eight sessions.

Now, this time round I have much more warning: the kind of problems I'm talking about before were more a week or two's notice and I dealt with that poorly. Still, it's a precedent that has me a touch concerned.