Problem player in my group

[Hippy]

There's a lot of good advice in this thread, but there's a lot of bad advice too, imho.

Bad advice includes anything that lets Fred keep spoiling the rest of the group's fun; any of the "talk to him and see what happens" stuff- it's already been tried, both by you and the dm. Someone suggested that you suggest a different game to mollify him- why should everyone else in the group have to give up a game they're enjoying to placate a guy who is ruining the fun for everyone?

I guess I was not clear when I suggested a different game. I meant it a break from what was becoming un-fun for everyone involved. A temporary deversion from the rut they are in with this guy. Maybe one session or a diffferent day if they do not want to give up the game night they have already. I was not suggesting they abandon the game for this guy, just take a break and let things simmer down. Then talk to this guy and see if he is having fun and if not why? If his style of play does not match the rest of the group, then it is time to part company in this game. Note I am talking about this game not the friendship which they do not want to lose.

I do stand by my earlier statement however that if he is not being respectful of the rest of group's feelings about the game then he is not being much of a friend in the first place. Since none of us posters here (besides your group dm and you) know what he is really like, only you can make the call on his behavior as a friend.

Again I wish these guys the best of luck. These kinds of problems are never easy to deal with, when you care about hurting feelings.

Hippy

 

[the Jester]

Frankly, Fred was just rude tonight. He claims that he had a "bad week." So because he had a bad week, he decided that it would be alright to play a computer game at the table. He actually played a computer game, rather than engage in role playing with us. We even had to tell him to turn the music down! I cannot believe it. That is just plain insulting! To the DM and us!!

Unless drastic action is taken quickly, I foresee at least one of the players who does want to game and enjoy the campaign giving up the game because of this before too long- maybe even you, since you're the one that started this thread. Often, when a player's rudeness gets to this level, people start walking out.

Good luck- it's better to lose the one that brings the crappy tude than those trying to have a fun game.

 

[S'mon]

I think by far the best thing to do would be to call Fred on his crappy behaviour while he's actually engaged in it.

I dunno, this whole thing sounds appalling. Some of the other players support Fred and would quit if he were booted? And the GM sounds really weak, to be putting up with this at his table. If I were a player I'd be climbing the walls.

 

[Silver Moon]

Kill him and take his stuff.






Seriously though, been there before. You need to get a group concensus followed by a group discussion. The good thing is you've outlined that you are all friends, and if he wants to continue being your friend he'll hopefully listen to some constructive criticism and get with the program. A true friend wouldn't want to spoil the fun of the others.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I think this situation has gotten to the stage where I can't see it ending well. Just because he is your friend doesn't mean you should put up with his childish behaviour. Since when does one person's happiness outweigh everyone elses?

I think either Fred will be asked to leave or some of the other players may start to do so. I know it gets hard when the people involved are all friends outside of the game but sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and dump the problem player.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Delta]

Either way, I intend to talk to him again, I wish to speak to his friends who are in the game about his attitude because I think if they spoke up about it rather than just sitting aside and saying nothing then he might actually tone it down. I want giving him the boot to be the last resort on this matter but I'll make it clear that that is an option I'm considering when I converse with him.

The following is given in the warmest sense of fellowship, from someone who has been there: You're being a wuss.

The worst thing you can do is drop vague hints that you're "considering" dropping him as an option of "last resort". Come on, that's directly telling him that you don't have the stones to boot him and he should feel free to walk all over you. You need to make up you're mind if you're booting him. If the answer is "no", then keep your lip buttoned.

I fire people from my band (or at least reject auditions) all the time. It was incredibly hard the first time! But everyone likes and respects me better after I fire them. Just did it this week, and I was partying with her a few days later on Saturday night, and she was deliriously happy to see me, all hugs and kisses.

So boot him, improve your game, bulk up your self-respect. Yes you can.

 

[S'mon]

So boot him, improve your game, bulk up your self-respect. Yes you can.

QFT!!

 

[Jhaelen]

Frankly, Fred was just rude tonight. He claims that he had a "bad week." So because he had a bad week, he decided that it would be alright to play a computer game at the table.

That would not be something I'd tolerate at my game table. If a player isn't in the mood to play, he's free to stay at home!

 

[Obryn]

Frankly, Fred was just rude tonight. He claims that he had a "bad week." So because he had a bad week, he decided that it would be alright to play a computer game at the table. He actually played a computer game, rather than engage in role playing with us. We even had to tell him to turn the music down! I cannot believe it. That is just plain insulting! To the DM and us!! Frankly, the only reason I didn't start yelling at him is because the rest of us were trying to enjoy the game. Our DM is going to speak with Fred on monday. I wish him luck.

I would boot someone from my table if they started playing a computer game during the session. If the computer game is that important, or if they are going to be crappy because they had a bad week, they should stay home that night, or go do something else.

That's insane and I can't believe any DM would put up with it.

I run a very casual game, but that would be way too much.

-O

 

[EroGaki]

I would boot someone from my table if they started playing a computer game during the session. If the computer game is that important, or if they are going to be crappy because they had a bad week, they should stay home that night, or go do something else.

That's insane and I can't believe any DM would put up with it.

I run a very casual game, but that would be way too much.

-O

Believe me, I agree with you. I really do. But our DM is gonna try and handle this diplomatically, for better or worse.