Quitting a group & starting anew..ground rules?

[Calico_Jack73]

Rule 7 does seem a little harsh. Personally I'd say you are trying to control the group too much due to bad experiences in your past. You might have felt out of control of one of your old groups at the outset of you campaign, seen the performace of your group slide, and at the end felt that if you had tighter control on your group you could have prevented the slide in the first place. Before you respond with something about the length of time you've been playing and the number of times you've run into these issues let me state that I've been playing 24 years and have also run into these same issues and not a one of them couldn't be handled by having a private, adult conversation between the offending player and the players (and/or DM) who are having issues with one of the occurances causing the grievance. If it couldn't be resolved through conversation then the person was kindly asked move on to a different gaming group where they might be more suited.

In the end, RPGs are just games meant for entertainment. As such they are meant to be fun and I'd say if your rules were interfering with any of the players having fun then there is a problem. If it is one player that dislikes the rules and the rest enjoy your rules then perhaps the player should leave. If more than one of you players have a problem with the rules then you should leave. Not having played in a campaign with you I obviously don't know the personal dynamics of your group and I also can't accurately say how I would react since in many cases it is all in the delivery of the idea. If you were a jerk about it one of us would be leaving the group. If you explained how your rules would make for a better game and if you could make me understand how your reasons apply to my group and not just your past groups with whom you had isses then I might gladly accept them.

 

[Emirikol]

Perhaps you might feel uncomfortable about having an ex-con in your house, and that's all good. .1.

You would probably enjoy a thread we had on here regarding Dragon magazine, when the editor decided that it would be a good idea to have D&D games for convicts. My argument is that I don't think we should invite murderer's and rapists to get out of jail and then seek out games with children that they learned in jail. Seemed kind of stupid to me, but there are those out there who feel that pedophiles should be encouraged to take up a hobby like D&D so that they can be around children..because afterall, anything less would be impolite and we might miss out on a person who might not be that bad.

I'm very elitist and exclusionary when it comes to three things and I don't compromise on those things anymore (and never should have in the first place..looking back):
1. My hobbies
2. My family
3. My friends

jh
..

 

[DonTadow]

You would probably enjoy a thread we had on here regarding Dragon magazine, when the editor decided that it would be a good idea to have D&D games for convicts. My argument is that I don't think we should invite murderer's and rapists to get out of jail and then seek out games with children that they learned in jail. Seemed kind of stupid to me, but there are those out there who feel that pedophiles should be encouraged to take up a hobby like D&D so that they can be around children..because afterall, anything less would be impolite and we might miss out on a person who might not be that bad.

I'm very elitist and exclusionary when it comes to three things and I don't compromise on those things anymore (and never should have in the first place..looking back):
1. My hobbies
2. My family
3. My friends

jh
..

I do kinda have questions about question number 1, but that is my personal background and something I can understand why someone would ask, but I would have to be singled out because someone made a bad choice or mistake. Now, where as I defend asking this question, I admit that I would not divulge it and tell the DM why (its something i want to put behind me). If he doesnt like that then I fully undersstand and thats his choice

I've sat in a county lockup before, and Ive met really good guys whom got themselves in BAD situations. I've seen really good guys in just situations. I have a theory, as an African American, that there are not too many African-American men whom havn't had a run-in with hte law (me included) especially if you stayed in poverish neighborhoods where it appears crime is the only answer. Most criminals aren't murders and rapists, though there area ton of thieves, gun possesors, drug dealers and assaults. But there are a number of 1 time offenders whom just made some bad choices.

 

[Numion]

Seemed kind of stupid to me, but there are those out there who feel that pedophiles should be encouraged to take up a hobby like D&D so that they can be around children..because afterall, anything less would be impolite and we might miss out on a person who might not be that bad.

It's good then that priests inherently hate D&D, huh?

Just saying that statistically you shouldn't allow those people in your games either. Only a small percentage of either group (priests and convicts) are pedophiles, and I don't think there are grounds to ban them from D&D. We should discourage them from doing bad things, not discourage D&D.

 

[Emirikol]

..Just saying that statistically you shouldn't allow those people in your games either. Only a small percentage of either group (priests and convicts) are pedophiles, and I don't think there are grounds to ban them from D&D. We should discourage them from doing bad things, not discourage D&D.

Illinois Dept of Corrections statistic:
Approximately 16.4% of inmates in prison have a sex offense on their record and may or may not currently be in the system for a sexual offense. Approximately 10% of inmates at any given time, are incarcerated for sex offenses.

Federal Statistics or Recidivism Study:
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/rsorp94.htm
* On average the 9,691 sex offenders served 3 1/2 years of their 8-year sentence.
* Compared to non-sex offenders released from State prisons, released sex offenders were 4 times more likely to be rearrested for a sex crime.
* The 9,691 released sex offenders included 4,295 men who were in prison for child molesting.

Illinois Statistics for Recidivism:
* The recidivism rate for inmates who exited prison in 2001 was 54.6%. Recidivism is defined as the rate at which inmates return to prison within three years of release.

We're not talking about some guy who spent the night in county lock-up or stole some candy as a kid. I'm saying that I don't have time for any of this crap and wouldn't take a chance on ANYONE who has a flipped-coin chance of doing it again (54.6%)..and that's just the 3-year recidivism rate. There's no way to put this in the questionaire except to say, "Are you an ex-con?"

54.6%

..and yes, that includes priests

jh
..

 

[Emirikol]

Don,

BTW, I love your Karma system for character advancement on your webpage.

jh

 

[Emirikol]

This leads us back to the main topic:

Do you lay down ground rules on whether or not someone can borrow your books or old collector stuff, or is it always just, "Gee, I sure hope they ask me first." I used to get all the D&D stuff, but found that players rarely browsed it anyways because they didn't know if they should/could. I found this especially true of Dragon magazine, which I wish my players would have read a little more often because there' ssome cool stuff in there. I stopped buying D&D stuff because my players never used it..probably because I never let them know if was ok that they could use it (me being such a crazy hard-ass you know

Your experiences with borrowing gaming stuff?

jh

 

[noretoc]

My take on the whole rules things is different. I think Emirikol is afraid of the conflict that could arise from a player that does not play the way he likes. Rather than being able to tell the person. "Hey it isn't working" etc. He wants a solid set of rules that he can go back to and say "you did this, now you have to leave, and my whole group is behind me." When dealing with huge crowds you need a set of rules to govern behavior, because there is no time to look at situation individuallly. (Maybe he showed up without a character because he worked late all week). In a small group like a gaming group, if there is a problem, you should be able to use some of that downtime to talk to the guy/girl and say what is wrong. If somone is habitual about it, then have the gonads to say, this is what is wrong, rather than point to a sign and say, "You broke our contract" and have the players all stand behind you. It also stops him from being responsible for his opions. Maybe everyone else likes the guy, and rather than put his party in the place of being able to choose the rulebreaker over him, he instead sets up a rule system so that the offending player is the one that get tossed out. It is a saftey net for anyone who acts like a dink but dosen't break the rules. "You broke rule #X, you out. Yea I know he is ok, and you guys like him, but he stopped the game cause his brother called him. and last week he ran out to get some munchies, that means he's out. (course the whole voted out thing helps this, but not completley).

 

[fusangite]

Do you lay down ground rules on whether or not someone can borrow your books or old collector stuff, or is it always just, "Gee, I sure hope they ask me first." I used to get all the D&D stuff, but found that players rarely browsed it anyways because they didn't know if they should/could.

My policy on lending/borrowing is that if I think a player would benefit from borrowing my stuff, I'll come forward and offer to lend it to him or her. If a player asks, I'll always say 'yes' unless I have a previous bad experience with them damaging or not returning something in which case I'll tell them to their face that I won't lend them books anymore.

It is very hard to judge how people will treat stuff you lend them, in my experience, especially books. People who are often very careful with other objects will fold pages, destroy book spines, etc.; similarly, many people with messy homes and slovenly habits will treat books like gold.

My main solution has been to ensure that people need as few commercial products as possible to play in my games. Also, as a graduate student, I have occasional opportunities for mass illicit photocopying that helps to mitigate this.

 

[freebfrost]

This leads us back to the main topic:

Do you lay down ground rules on whether or not someone can borrow your books or old collector stuff, or is it always just, "Gee, I sure hope they ask me first." I used to get all the D&D stuff, but found that players rarely browsed it anyways because they didn't know if they should/could. I found this especially true of Dragon magazine, which I wish my players would have read a little more often because there' ssome cool stuff in there. I stopped buying D&D stuff because my players never used it..probably because I never let them know if was ok that they could use it (me being such a crazy hard-ass you know

Your experiences with borrowing gaming stuff?

jh

Well, I don't mind lending any of my collection out, but I've never had anyone just take something without asking me about it first. Of course, my magazines are bagged and boxed, and the books are shelved in the gaming room, so its likely I would see them looking at the item in question first.

I definitely would want them to ask first, since it is an almost complete collection, and I tend to be a bit anal about maintaining it...