<Rant> Where has courtesy gone?

[MaxKaladin]

A thought that strikes me (no pun intended) about the whole violence discussion. It seems to me that this sort of thing is why many cultures developed codes of conduct of various kinds. On the one hand, they recognized that they couldn't have everyone just running around using violence whenever they felt like it. On the other hand, they also realized that if there was no means of response to provocation (of whatever kind), it simply gave people a license to say and do whatever they wanted short of physical violence. They made an attempt to achieve some sort of balance between the two. I think that balance is what our society is missing. There is legal recourse for verbal abuse in our society, but the leal processes involved are so expensive and time consuming that they are rarely used and this gives rude people license to be rude since they know they will rarely be called to task for it in any meaningful way.

I am reminded of the worst bullies I had to deal with when I was a kid. It wasn't the ones who tried to beat me up. It was the ones who used verbal abuse and other annoyance techniques to make my life miserable. They had become masters of knowing just where the line between verbal and physical confrontation was and staying just on the safe side of it because they knew they wouldn't be punished in any significant way for verbal abuse (an admonishment to "cut it out" was about the worst they could expect from most adults) and they knew that the punishment inflicted on anyone who resorted to violence was severe enough to make me extremely reluctant to resort to violence to try to stop them. In effect, the rules designed to protect people from physical violence also served to protect the bullies. I'm not trying to argue those rules should be done away with, but that they create another problem that needs to be addressed.

 

[Arnwyn]

You want to figure you can smack my wife around, you go with your bad self.

What the hell is that all about?

You quite possibly have the worst reading skills I've seen yet at ENWorld if you came up with that response.

 

[WizarDru]

Another example: Ever notice how in recent decades calling someone a "boy scout" has become a derisive term? They strive to be nice, polite and courteous and stress doing the right thing. {Sarcasm}How horrible!{/Sarcasm} (And let's not talk about the politics of the organization, please -- that's not what people are referring to in this context)

Well, I could comment that some people consider the politics of the organization as part of the reason that the boy scouts no longer hold the esteem they once did, but that's not really the connotation involved (and yes, I was one, back in the day).

However, I don't think anyone's holding 'boy scout' as an example of an insult, any more than being a "braniac", "know it all" or "an old softie". It's said with a smirk and sometimes meant almost as a grudging complement. Example: Superman is often referred to as the 'big boy scout' in the Justice League animated series, a title that is meant with more than a little bit of respect...a point driven home when Captain Marvel joins the League and Superman is more than a little jealous of losing the title.

 

[BlackSilver]

Is there a point to talking about violence in this thread or did I miss something?

The point of this thread is to give us a place to talk about the lack of polite behavior in our world today. Please reframe from violent activities or speaking of them in a place where we want to talk about being polite.

 

[MaxKaladin]

Well, I could comment that some people consider the politics of the organization as part of the reason that the boy scouts no longer hold the esteem they once did, but that's not really the connotation involved (and yes, I was one, back in the day).

Right, that's not the connotation I'm talking about.

However, I don't think anyone's holding 'boy scout' as an example of an insult, any more than being a "braniac", "know it all" or "an old softie". It's said with a smirk and sometimes meant almost as a grudging complement. Example: Superman is often referred to as the 'big boy scout' in the Justice League animated series, a title that is meant with more than a little bit of respect...a point driven home when Captain Marvel joins the League and Superman is more than a little jealous of losing the title.

I know some people use it like you mention, but I've also heard it used with the same sort of annoyance, aggrivation and general distaste some people have when the paladin in the party is being actively Lawful Good (or they may call it "Lawful Stupid" or something like that). I've also heard "brainiac" and "know it all" used in the same way.