Re-worded spells
- Thread starter lukelightning
- Start date
Jeysie
First Post
Animate Pants - For when you need to put a little life into the hostess.
Curse Waiter - What you do when your food arrives cold and he forgets your drink.
Salt Undead - When you desperately need a soup bone for dinner after the fight.
Pass Without Grace - This causes everyone who walks in front of you to suddenly become a complete clutz until they get past you.
Song of Discard - Every item in the pockets of everyone within the spell radius goes flying into the nearest trash receptacle.
Wall of Farce - For when you need a cheap plywood Hollywood set for the next scene.
Peace & Luv, Liz
Curse Waiter - What you do when your food arrives cold and he forgets your drink.
Salt Undead - When you desperately need a soup bone for dinner after the fight.
Pass Without Grace - This causes everyone who walks in front of you to suddenly become a complete clutz until they get past you.
Song of Discard - Every item in the pockets of everyone within the spell radius goes flying into the nearest trash receptacle.
Wall of Farce - For when you need a cheap plywood Hollywood set for the next scene.
Peace & Luv, Liz
Destil
Explorer
Power Word Find: Locates car keys, missing socks or any other combination of objects with up to 100 HP or a single object with 150 HP or less.
Protection From Wells: Confers +8 lassie bonus to reflex saves against falling into a well.
Rary's Telepathic Blond: Link allows allies to exchange vapid thoughts.
Illusionary Paul: Paul looks real, but anything can pass through.
Grate: Blocks travel through portals, does not affect amorphous creatures.
Spell Immunity: I-M-M-U-N-I-wait, or is it a a?
Spell Immunity, Greater: I-M-M-U-N-I-T-Y
Protection From Wells: Confers +8 lassie bonus to reflex saves against falling into a well.
Rary's Telepathic Blond: Link allows allies to exchange vapid thoughts.
Illusionary Paul: Paul looks real, but anything can pass through.
Grate: Blocks travel through portals, does not affect amorphous creatures.
Spell Immunity: I-M-M-U-N-I-wait, or is it a a?
Spell Immunity, Greater: I-M-M-U-N-I-T-Y
Detect Poison: Be aware of the proximity of 80's hair bands.
Ray of Robert Frost [language-dependant]: When you want the enemy to consider the implications of mortality.
Cause Fear Factor: Changes channel to Spike TV afternoon programming.
Disinfect Undead: Because they are, you know: corpses.
Endure Plot Elements: When the DM's railroading becomes too much.
Engorge Person: Cause target to feel as if they just ate a large meal.
Mage Armoire: Dining room heirloom appears for 1 hour / level.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Person: Break target down into components and impregnate female of appropriate species.
Halter Self: Attire torso in warm-weather clothing.
Cat's Graceland: Teleport Self + 50lbs to Cat Steven's knockoff of Elvis' home.
Flaming Sphere: Create Dupont Circle.
Divisibility: Transmute any number so that it becomes non-prime.
Misdirection: Create Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith.
Explosive Moons: It's actually a space station.
Hold Parson: Immobilize Protestant minister.
Dhampiric Touch: Cause target to create romantic gothic fan-fiction about vamipre spawn you'd love to be.
Bestow Hearse: Force target to lead funeral processions.
Ray of Robert Frost [language-dependant]: When you want the enemy to consider the implications of mortality.
Cause Fear Factor: Changes channel to Spike TV afternoon programming.
Disinfect Undead: Because they are, you know: corpses.
Endure Plot Elements: When the DM's railroading becomes too much.
Engorge Person: Cause target to feel as if they just ate a large meal.
Mage Armoire: Dining room heirloom appears for 1 hour / level.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Person: Break target down into components and impregnate female of appropriate species.
Halter Self: Attire torso in warm-weather clothing.
Cat's Graceland: Teleport Self + 50lbs to Cat Steven's knockoff of Elvis' home.
Flaming Sphere: Create Dupont Circle.
Divisibility: Transmute any number so that it becomes non-prime.
Misdirection: Create Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith.
Explosive Moons: It's actually a space station.
Hold Parson: Immobilize Protestant minister.
Dhampiric Touch: Cause target to create romantic gothic fan-fiction about vamipre spawn you'd love to be.
Bestow Hearse: Force target to lead funeral processions.
Fifth Element
Legend
Drowbane said:I was thinking a Fish (lower lvl Wish) spell would be kinda like the children's card game. You state what you want to happen and nine times out of ten you get "Sorry, go Fish!" in response.
Wouldn't that be twelve out of thirteen? How would you roll that?
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Colour Gray: the monochromatic version, and really boring.
Raise Head: a less-effective version of the original spell, leaving one paralyzed from the neck down.
Teleprompt: either reminds you what you were about to say, or functions as a teleport spell that works really really quickly.
Plain Shift: either conjures a very bland tunic, or teleports you to the wide open prairies.
Ghost of Wind: remains when a Gust of Wind has come and gone.
Inflict Light/Serious/Critical Sounds: what folk/rock/metal bands do.
Heel: every dog within a mile is now standing right behind you.
and a special from 1e:
Nostril's Magic Aura: for d4 days, target's nose radiates magic if detected.
Lane-"did I ever tell you I despise wizards?"-fan
Raise Head: a less-effective version of the original spell, leaving one paralyzed from the neck down.
Teleprompt: either reminds you what you were about to say, or functions as a teleport spell that works really really quickly.
Plain Shift: either conjures a very bland tunic, or teleports you to the wide open prairies.
Ghost of Wind: remains when a Gust of Wind has come and gone.
Inflict Light/Serious/Critical Sounds: what folk/rock/metal bands do.
Heel: every dog within a mile is now standing right behind you.
and a special from 1e:
Nostril's Magic Aura: for d4 days, target's nose radiates magic if detected.
Lane-"did I ever tell you I despise wizards?"-fan
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