That's ridiculous. Our actions define who we are. ...I'm not getting into philosophy with you.
Actions, yes, class, no. Not all rogues are thieves and assassins. Not all paladins are so fervent that they cannot accept opinions other than their own.
Who your character is is no more defined by their class than their race. Are you going to start saying all dwarves must be drunkards? That all elves must be haugty and superior?
That's not entirely true. As I said above, true personalization is possible in a system with no rules, but it is also possible in a putative system with an infinite number of rules. The goal of good game design should not be to pursue one of these extremes, nor should it be to find a balance between them, which would serve no purpose. The objective is to choose one of these continua and find a point along it where the mix provides optimal playability.
I'll reiterate. These statements are contradictory.
If one is not seeking balance between two extremes, then one cannot be seeking a mix for optimal playability.
The land of rules and the domain of personalization do not exist in seperate universes. One of the opposite of the other. You either have all rules, no rules, or some rules.
D&D4 has chosen the 'infinite rules' route, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But I disagree with the point they've chosen.
Your disagreement is, IMO, misplaced. You dislike that they've taken this particular "infinite rules" approach, but you then dislike that they've also said "you can customize as you please". This latter statement exists entirely to suit players who do not like the "infinite rules" approach.
If you disagree with the concept of having rules AT ALL for a game, then it somewhat begs the question of why play games at all? For if there is a game in which multiple people play, there must be an agreed-upon set of rules.