Removing yourself from a gaming group
- Thread starter rgard
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Squire James
Explorer
Any time I hear terms like "the way the game is MEANT to be played", I normally turn and walk the other way. They don't want you to play the game, they want the game to play you!
Primitive Screwhead
First Post
I have left many groups.. but usually due to moving.. military is good at that.
There were a couple groups that I used the military move as an excuse, altho incompatable play styles was a close one.
Fer instance, this one group I joined for a short time while at a 4 month training deal... the GM was pretty nice and the group seemed okay, altho a bit power-gamed. Found out in a later session that one Rogue had a feat that allowed her to, as a free action, flip over an attacking character. This not only negated the attack but also allowed her to be 'flanking' with herself... ?
All sorts of stuff like that.
Anyway, last session with the group they took offense to my buddies characters, a monk, and one of the PC's attacked him. He returned the favor with a Stun attack that worked quite well. The Tank of the party, who moments earlier was sitting on the seat of a covered wagon 'entertaining' a pretty young lass...100' up from the Monk decides that on his initiative {first round} he would leap to his {normal} warhorse, grab his lance and do a Spirited Charge against the Monk...
DM allowed it and the resulting 100+ points of damage destroyed the Monk. THen they turned on my character, and EoM mage who had been casting non-damaging spells to separate the PCs and stop the fight... I left in a burst of darkness and a summoned flock of ravens that would cover the retreat of my polymorphed {raven form} character...the DM tried to say that they could target me for two rounds... They killed most of the ravens before the DM read my note that stated that I had stayed in the darkness for one more round and cast Invis before retreating in a safe direction....
Both he and the party were annoyed that they didn't kill my character and blamed me for cheating with spells that weren't legal. Funny given that the DM didn't bother reading the EoM rules when he allowed my character :shrugs:
I didn't tell them why we left. If they didn't know by then, it wouldn't be worth it.
Ended up meeting two other players that had ditched out of the game and had a really good game
There were a couple groups that I used the military move as an excuse, altho incompatable play styles was a close one.
Fer instance, this one group I joined for a short time while at a 4 month training deal... the GM was pretty nice and the group seemed okay, altho a bit power-gamed. Found out in a later session that one Rogue had a feat that allowed her to, as a free action, flip over an attacking character. This not only negated the attack but also allowed her to be 'flanking' with herself... ?
All sorts of stuff like that.
Anyway, last session with the group they took offense to my buddies characters, a monk, and one of the PC's attacked him. He returned the favor with a Stun attack that worked quite well. The Tank of the party, who moments earlier was sitting on the seat of a covered wagon 'entertaining' a pretty young lass...100' up from the Monk decides that on his initiative {first round} he would leap to his {normal} warhorse, grab his lance and do a Spirited Charge against the Monk...
DM allowed it and the resulting 100+ points of damage destroyed the Monk. THen they turned on my character, and EoM mage who had been casting non-damaging spells to separate the PCs and stop the fight... I left in a burst of darkness and a summoned flock of ravens that would cover the retreat of my polymorphed {raven form} character...the DM tried to say that they could target me for two rounds... They killed most of the ravens before the DM read my note that stated that I had stayed in the darkness for one more round and cast Invis before retreating in a safe direction....
Both he and the party were annoyed that they didn't kill my character and blamed me for cheating with spells that weren't legal. Funny given that the DM didn't bother reading the EoM rules when he allowed my character :shrugs:
I didn't tell them why we left. If they didn't know by then, it wouldn't be worth it.
Ended up meeting two other players that had ditched out of the game and had a really good game
jhilahd
Explorer
Let me just say for all the decent DM's, I'm sorry.
There are enough moron's in this game it doesn't need to be the DM.
I've done a bone headed thing or two, but nothing this childish. I have, to my own error, caused a new pc to sit through 3 hours of bs before letting him into play. And to my surprise he let me know after the game that this wasn't the group for him.
I had only DM'ed twice before that day. So I chalk it up to inexperience.
Primitive... dude, that sucks. Anytime you're in the Dallas area and looking for a game. Gimme a holler, I'll hook you up with a mostly mature adults.
There are enough moron's in this game it doesn't need to be the DM.
I've done a bone headed thing or two, but nothing this childish. I have, to my own error, caused a new pc to sit through 3 hours of bs before letting him into play. And to my surprise he let me know after the game that this wasn't the group for him.
I had only DM'ed twice before that day. So I chalk it up to inexperience.
Primitive... dude, that sucks. Anytime you're in the Dallas area and looking for a game. Gimme a holler, I'll hook you up with a mostly mature adults.
+5 Keyboard!
First Post
To answer the OP, if I don't care for a game or the people at it, I've always held that an honest, no-beating-around-the-bush, "Sorry, I'm not enjoying your game so I'm not going to return, but thanks for having me" has been the best way of handling it. I've heard a lot of BS excuses from players that have left the games I've run and always respected the ones that were just honest and said they didn't want to play anymore.
crazy_monkey1956
First Post
One note I would add...
I don't think I would stick around long enough for a round of combat if the other players were attacking my character. Sounds a little like "taking my toys and going home" but I'm a very vocal advocate of the cooperative nature of the game so if someone attacks my character, its time for me to leave...without resolving the combat one way or the other.
I don't think I would stick around long enough for a round of combat if the other players were attacking my character. Sounds a little like "taking my toys and going home" but I'm a very vocal advocate of the cooperative nature of the game so if someone attacks my character, its time for me to leave...without resolving the combat one way or the other.
BlueBlackRed
Explorer
When I leave a group it's usually not a polite affair as it's usually an issue with another player.
Long ago I had been part of a group and we were all having fun. Then one of the other players wanted a friend of his to join. His friend was someone who I could not get along with. He had it in his head that there was a "pecking order" to the group and I was below him but since I never accepted that, we would butt heads usually after a couple sessions.
I threatened to quit, they didn't listen. He joined, I left. Two weeks later the group collapsed. Boy I guess no group is better than a group without that guy.
About a decade ago I was part of another group. In that group was a good guy, but someone who liked to play Devil's Advocate. There was a period in my life where things weren't going all that great outside of the game. This fellow, instead of letting me vent about things, wanted to debate the other point of view. I had no interest in that, and was both insulted and not a little upset.
I chose to leave the group as I felt forcing the group to make a choice of "me or him" was not helpful and would leave a burned bridge.
Oddly enough, other issues within the group caused him to leave so it didn't come to that.
Long ago I had been part of a group and we were all having fun. Then one of the other players wanted a friend of his to join. His friend was someone who I could not get along with. He had it in his head that there was a "pecking order" to the group and I was below him but since I never accepted that, we would butt heads usually after a couple sessions.
I threatened to quit, they didn't listen. He joined, I left. Two weeks later the group collapsed. Boy I guess no group is better than a group without that guy.
About a decade ago I was part of another group. In that group was a good guy, but someone who liked to play Devil's Advocate. There was a period in my life where things weren't going all that great outside of the game. This fellow, instead of letting me vent about things, wanted to debate the other point of view. I had no interest in that, and was both insulted and not a little upset.
I chose to leave the group as I felt forcing the group to make a choice of "me or him" was not helpful and would leave a burned bridge.
Oddly enough, other issues within the group caused him to leave so it didn't come to that.
BlackMoria
First Post
I've 'walked' on about three groups. In all three cases, I gave it a honest go and stuck it through for a few sessions in the hopes my initial impressions of the game and/or the people involved was wrong. No point quitting after one session in the off chance that everyone is having a 'bad' day and the game or people are not as bad as the initial impression.
Alas, my initial impressions were correct. One game was truly too weird for my tastes. Another game, I couldn't stand the way the DM lacked a spine and let his group walk all over him. Never have I seen such indecision and waffling from a DM and his players, like wolves sensing weakness, would take advantage of it. And the third group, I had a issue with several of the players, one in particular who was the biggest braggart I seen in a player and he was very condescending to others, me in particular.
In all three cases, I was honest and thanked the DM and players for allowing me to play but cited the game or playing style was not my cup of tea and would not be returning. They in turn thanked me for participating and wished me well.
Cordial. Just the way it should be.
Alas, my initial impressions were correct. One game was truly too weird for my tastes. Another game, I couldn't stand the way the DM lacked a spine and let his group walk all over him. Never have I seen such indecision and waffling from a DM and his players, like wolves sensing weakness, would take advantage of it. And the third group, I had a issue with several of the players, one in particular who was the biggest braggart I seen in a player and he was very condescending to others, me in particular.
In all three cases, I was honest and thanked the DM and players for allowing me to play but cited the game or playing style was not my cup of tea and would not be returning. They in turn thanked me for participating and wished me well.
Cordial. Just the way it should be.
Cinderfall
First Post
My group (of many many years) was getting ready to put our current game on pause to avoid burnout and we decided to spend the session discussing what we would play in the interim. I was upfront and clear that I wasn't interested in playing D&D 3.5 or high fantasy. In the end the group decided to play D&D 3.5 and Forgotten Realms in a full bore high fantasy game. On top of that they had decided on the DM I absolutely didn't want to game under at the time. So pretty much it was point-by-point exactly what I wasn't interested in.
Now we as a group had agreed many times that if someone didn't want to participate in a game (for whatever reason) it was cool that they bow out - no hard feelings. This was even reiterated the night of the discussion.
I decided that I would give it a try despite my complete lack of interest, primarily because the other players had asked me to. I played for a couple of months and solidly determined that this was not the game for me. I told my group that I felt that I wasn't adding anything to the game nor was I getting anything out of it. Interestingly, they were happy with my participation... but I still wasn't feeling it, so I took a break from the group since I knew that eventually things (on my end) would turn negative (due to boredom, rising irritation, etc.). Also, I didn't want to get burned out on roleplaying by playing something I wasn't enjoying.
Irritatingly, part of the group apparently took issue with what I felt was a completely open, friendly departure (I made sure to tell the group that I was interested in gaming with them when they were playing something else). The primary rub came, I think, from the fact that the game is held at our house (my roomie was the DM), so when they gamed, I was there, doing other things (trying to be relatively unobtrusive). I think they expected me to be hanging out with my other non-gaming friends - but I wasn't - I was enjoying some personal time. Maybe they thought I was making a point or something, I don't know. Probably they expected me to "give in" and just play. I just honestly wasn't interested in playing something I wasn't enjoying.
But I've gamed with them since and I'm sure it will work out, whatever the problem is/was.
Now we as a group had agreed many times that if someone didn't want to participate in a game (for whatever reason) it was cool that they bow out - no hard feelings. This was even reiterated the night of the discussion.
I decided that I would give it a try despite my complete lack of interest, primarily because the other players had asked me to. I played for a couple of months and solidly determined that this was not the game for me. I told my group that I felt that I wasn't adding anything to the game nor was I getting anything out of it. Interestingly, they were happy with my participation... but I still wasn't feeling it, so I took a break from the group since I knew that eventually things (on my end) would turn negative (due to boredom, rising irritation, etc.). Also, I didn't want to get burned out on roleplaying by playing something I wasn't enjoying.
Irritatingly, part of the group apparently took issue with what I felt was a completely open, friendly departure (I made sure to tell the group that I was interested in gaming with them when they were playing something else). The primary rub came, I think, from the fact that the game is held at our house (my roomie was the DM), so when they gamed, I was there, doing other things (trying to be relatively unobtrusive). I think they expected me to be hanging out with my other non-gaming friends - but I wasn't - I was enjoying some personal time. Maybe they thought I was making a point or something, I don't know. Probably they expected me to "give in" and just play. I just honestly wasn't interested in playing something I wasn't enjoying.
But I've gamed with them since and I'm sure it will work out, whatever the problem is/was.
jdrakeh
Front Range Warlock
I can only recall actively and forever walking out of one group, for reasons that I can't get into here because of board rules. Let's just say that every game these losers played got turned into Sex: The Simulating, because they couldn't get a date in RL. To make matters worse, if you actually signed up to play. . . say. . . Shadowrun and voiced your displeasure at being railroaded into Sex: The Simulating, much effort was expended to kill your character in order to "teach you a lesson" -- Oh. Brother. The pain was great.
