Resolutions for the Fantasy Hero

Some of you have seen Peter's "Evil Overlord List" from 1996-97. It's "The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord" such as "Shooting is not too good for my enemies." If you've not read it before, it may help you make your opponents-for-adventurers more effective. It seems only fair that a similar list should exist for the heroes.

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Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash
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This idea came to me after watching a Shannara Chronicles episode where Our Heroes had the leader and chief motivator of an enemy organization unconscious in their hands. They needed to escape the enemy fortress, but a couple were in bad shape from torture, so there was no way to take the leader along. Did any of the five think to "off" him on the spot? No, and 10 minutes later he was leading more of his men as the heroes were trying to complete their escape. This is SO like television (and movies).

Many from the Evil list are just as good for the Goodguys, but for copyright reasons I do not include them. (The Evil list includes technology; I'm sticking with fantasy.)

1. I will not split the party.
2. A foolhardy act is a brave act which fails. I will not be foolhardy.
3. When I capture one of my chief enemies, and cannot take them to prison, I will thoroughly kill them on the spot. (Shannara Chronicles)
4. If it's impractical to "bring the Evil Overlord to justice", I'll kill them on the spot. I AM justice, when Necessary.
5. I will burn to fine ashes any powerful enemy I kill, whenever possible.
6. One of my advisers will be non-military, non-adventurer, maybe even non-adult; they'll notice flaws in my plans that no one else will.
7. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them (from the Evil list . . .).
8. I will run away to fight another day, rather than die futilely.
9. I will not fight "just for the experience". Focus on the Objective!
10. I will take and interrogate prisoners rather than Slaughter Everyone.
11. I will never think I'm invincible/indestructible.
12. I will have backup plans.
13. I will have backups of items that I need to defeat the Evil Overlord.
14. I will also find the Evil Overlord's children/siblings, and if they're Evil, kill them.
15. Lawful Evil is not trustworthy.
16. I will not allow Evil characters to join my party.
17. This is a War, not Sport. I will kill the Evil bastards any way I can.
18. When I capture a beautiful minion of the Evil Overlord, I will not believe she's so attracted to my good looks and purity that she will gladly betray her Lord. (If I'm female, same applies to handsome male minions.)
19. While escaping I will not pause to make some wise-crack to the enemy.
20. If my advisers/friends think my plan is bad, I will listen to them.
21. My guards/prison wardens will always operate in pairs. If one goes missing the other will immediately raise the alarm.
22. I will imprison enemies in widely separated places, whenever possible.
23. I will take my enemies alive only where it is practical.
24. I will not immediately believe an enemy who says they have Seen the Light and are changing sides.
25. When the big fight is about to start, I will think about all my items and capabilities to find something especially useful.
26. I will never accept a challenge from an enemy leader.
27. The only good orc, is a dead orc. (Or other Evil race.)
28. I will not split the party!

No doubt you can think of more.

Just as the Evil Overlord list is (in one sense) an admonition for those who play/control dominating Evil characters, my list is intended as an admonition/guideline for those who play Good characters. Even in the days when most D&Ders were wargamers, the standard of tactical and strategic play in D&D was quite low. Simple things such as security around a camp, running away from a fight when it served no purpose within the context of what the party was trying to do, taking prisoners to gather intelligence – most parties didn’t (and still don’t) do it. As more non-gamers joined the hobby, the standard has tended to slip further.

Not taking prisoners, especially, was striking. I remember arranging “cutting out” expeditions designed to capture a guard (using invisibility, flight, and the like outdoors) so that we could “squeeze him ‘til the pips squeak” for information using ESP and other magic that assured we got full reliable information. Of course, there are GMs who absolutely refuse to let the players gain any information this way . . .

More commonly nowadays, players don’t have the patience for good tactics and especially for good strategy. And GMs who impose a story on the game, don’t want to lose control by letting players gain information in an unanticipated way.

Both lists are intended to be amusing, though I am no comedian and figure you folks will come up with more amusing admonitions. Sometimes an amusing phrase will sink into a player’s brain where something more straightforward might not. Depends on the player.

This article was contributed by Lewis Pulsipher (lewpuls) as part of EN World's Columnist (ENWC) program.We are always on the lookout for freelance columnists! If you have a pitch, please contact us!

 

[Henry]

Interesting idea; having a hero “don’t” list. Heroes do end up in some goofball situations, usually not just through plot, but their own stupidity, sometimes.

I do, however, have one counterpoint to the above list: Quite a bit of it sounds just like the “villains” list. Back in the 1990s, Iron Age comic book anti-heroes were big examples of following such a list - and they were unlikable sad sacks who weren’t that far different from the heroes, in my eyes.

The classic “stupid good” heroes are likable because of their idealism, not in spite of it. Killing off villains because it’s convenient, spurning redemption because of practicality — these don’t make for people you root for, because taken to the extreme, you don’t end up with Captain America or classic Superman, you end up with Watchmen — or Zack Snyder’s Superman.

Should D&D characters be held to this standard? If they’re good, then yes - but then, D&D has had a long tradition of its PCs being ironic murder-hoboes.

 

[AriochQ]

The problem of what to do with unconscious enemies is a recurring moral quandary in many RPG's. Many groups just kill them and move on, which is perfectly fine if that is the kind of game the player's, and DM, want to run. But, if you are in a game where the PC's are 'heroes' and expected to act morally, that isn't often the moral choice (it could be considered moral in some settings, but those would be the exception). I would think any good aligned character would be opposed to cold blooded murder. It might also violate the code of a lawful character. In my experience it is often the case that the group decides to leave unconscious enemies to the fates. It seems like a good compromise. They may bleed out, they may recover. Ideally, it happens after the heroes are long gone.

Moral quandaries make the game more interesting IMHO and I a always curious to see how different groups deal with them.

 

[Philature]

That list effectivness/fun really depend on the kind of games you are playing.

If you are playing A Game of Throne type of games, the list is great. In fact the fun would be in finding the few key elements the character don't follow to the letter and eventually bring them to their own end.

In other games, the fun is demonstrating that good can win over evil with all it intended goodness. For example, Harry Potter stray pretty far away from that list and dabbling into it would make him and his friend seems like jerk.

 

[callinostros]

Heroes wouldn't do some of those things, they are villainous acts. Heroes do the right thing even if it makes life harder instead taking the easy way out. Now, I will grant you that morally ambivalent heroes might do some of them and some (perhaps many) PC groups would do them as well, but calling them acts of a hero is a stretch.

 

[Kobold Boots]

Interesting idea; having a hero “don’t” list. Heroes do end up in some goofball situations, usually not just through plot, but their own stupidity, sometimes.

I do, however, have one counterpoint to the above list: Quite a bit of it sounds just like the “villains” list. Back in the 1990s, Iron Age comic book anti-heroes were big examples of following such a list - and they were unlikable sad sacks who weren’t that far different from the heroes, in my eyes.

The classic “stupid good” heroes are likable because of their idealism, not in spite of it. Killing off villains because it’s convenient, spurning redemption because of practicality — these don’t make for people you root for, because taken to the extreme, you don’t end up with Captain America or classic Superman, you end up with Watchmen — or Zack Snyder’s Superman.

Should D&D characters be held to this standard? If they’re good, then yes - but then, D&D has had a long tradition of its PCs being ironic murder-hoboes.

On the Captain America bent -

I think it's important to realize that if you really understand the heroic idealist as a character, you're not looking at their super identity as the basis for the hero.

If you like Captain America, what you really like is Steve Rogers. Captain America is a shield and an outfit. If you change Rogers, you fundamentally change the hero and not for the better. Even Marvel Studios ran the risk of screwing this up until they finally showed a clue during Winter Soldier where Chris Evans nailed the character with the PA announcement at Shield HQ. At the point where the follow up line was "did you write that down first or just make it up?" Captain America or not, that was classic Steve Rogers in 30 seconds and cemented that the shield didn't matter.

This is different from the average hero in a D&D game. While we all give our heroes names, it's very very rare that a player will play the role beyond "I'm a paladin"..

So if you make up a list of things to not do, and a list of things to do.. that's great and funny and all - but it kind of misses the point entirely. Heroes and Villains are people first. Nail that down and you end up having a reason for them to be acting the way they do, when they succeed it's memorable. When they fail it's tragic.

Archetype first and it's just another dead character. Roll another one up and move on.

KB

 

[Pauper]

I can see having a list of horrifying yet humorous admonitions on an 'Evil Overlord' list -- the 'evil' is right there in the title, after all.

But as a list of things for the hero to do? Many of these are frightening and close to fascistic, like 4 ("I am justice when Necessary"? Funny how it always seems to be Necessary, dunnit?), 14 ("I will find the Evil Overlord's children/siblings, and if they're Evil, kill them." And how do you tell they're Evil? Is that a new factor in the Myers-Briggs test? "Yes, I'm an ISTJE, what of it?"), and hoo-boy, 17. ("This is War, not Sport. I will kill the Evil bastards any way I can." So it's not just the kids of the Evil Overlord that are in for liquidation, then? It's anybody's kids you can throw into the Evil bucket?)

This may have been intended to be humorous, but honestly it's just sad and disappointing. The hero is not just the Evil Overlord if the author happens to be rooting for him; heroes should avoid the Moral Event Horizon, not plunge past it as the rules on this list would suggest he or she do.

--
Pauper

 

[Blue]

Ugh. So many on this list reinforce murderhobo tendencies. This would actively hurt my table.

 

[Henry]

I will say that I agree with #'s 1, 8, 9, 11, 12, and 25 - too many parties rush in without a single plan, and stay in a dangerous fight because "the DM wouldn't place something in his campaign that we can't handle."

Yes, yes I would. And this thing can kill you. I gave you tons of warning signs, including the slaughtered creature corpse at the dungeon entrance that was 5 challenge levels above you. Also none of the plot threads insinuated you HAD to use straightforward violence to kill this thing to accomplish a major goal....

In a game I recently DMed , I watched the group tackle a flying enemy, within two hours of receiving a flying magic item, and they tackled it with all ranged weapons that no one was optimized for, because they forgot they received the item. #25 is pretty important!

 

[neobolts]

One of the great design choices from 4e was the gods having three bullet points that acted as tenants of that faith. It made RPing a cleric a little bit easier for new players. There's probably some good material there for crafting a heroic ethos.