Run away screaming or not?

[CanadienneBacon]

I know this topic has been done to absolute death, but I unfortunately am not a community supporter and thus do not have access to the search feature. Lacking the time to page through old threads, I humbly request you guys and gals help me out because I need an opinion and I need it badly.

I play with one large group already. It's a new group and a newbie DM. Because the group is large, it's my feeling that we will see little character development. And that's OK. With six players and a new DM, I certainly don't begrudge the hack and slash. I am, at this point, sincerely grateful to have a regular and nice gaming group at all.

However, I would like to actually develop an actual character for once. I've never had the opportunity to emphasize a character over group combat. With this in mind, I set about finding a second, smaller group to do some serious roleplaying. I found a DM; another player from the large group. I found one player. I'm looking for a third and possibly a fourth player. All the people I have thus far recruited to run/play in the new group knew in advance that the group was to be for some down and dirty roleplaying action; I point-blank specified to each of them that it was to be a small group of characters.

Enter the problems. The DM, bless his heart, informed me via e-mail that "by the way" players can only play characters of their same sex. My immediate reaction was WTF?! I'm a female. I've played male characters in the past and never had complaint. In fact, I was heavily leaning toward creating and playing a male ranger for this new game. I e-mailed the DM about this issue and await his response. I tell you, right now I'm not certain I wish to go ahead and play with this group. Problem is, the DM is a player in the other larger group and a genuinely nice person whom I like. I am not at all certain that quitting his campaign is conducive to good vibes in the other group. The second problem is that the other player has been sending e-mails left and right asking whether this and that prestige class is OK, whether he can multi-class...he admitted in a recent e-mail that he is a min/maxer (his own words). Again, my reaction was WTF?! I clearly said to all involved that this was to be a rp-intensive group intent on character development.

That said, there is nothing wrong with min/maxing. I happen to be of the school of thought that a player can simultaneously min/max AND rp. And a rp-intensive campaign does not necessarily mean light on the combat. This guy, however, said he liked "dark and brooding" characters akin to the TV show "Angel." Aaack! My instinct is to run screaming away the other direction from this admittedly self-created monstrosity of a new group.

Advice? Give it a shot or not? Go with the flow on playing a female character since I'm a lady? Give the min/maxer a chance to show his quality? OR NOT?!!

 

[Nightfall]

My advice,

Just kick as who you are. Male/Female, the only difference is you can't get pregnant as one in game. Course worse comes to worse you can always buy a girdle of masculinity/femininity and then change sex that way.

 

[CanadienneBacon]

My head tells me that you are right, to give it a go; however, I detest being told what character I can or can not play and my ego is telling me to quit. You'd think that at 30 years of age I'd get over the whole rebellion thing. I just don't like being told straight out that I have to play a girl!

 

[Nightfall]

Sokay. At age 27 I hate being told I can't legally drive or have my own way. So it's an imperfect universe we live in. But it's your choice. I'm just a guy on the Internet.

 

[Maldur]

I can uncderstand why the dm would do this.

If he ( or she) is new and has a large group, it can be less confusing for a dm to have characters of the same sex as the players. I ask this from players all the time. It just stops strange situations. The sentence: "but Im a guy" can break a scene, or ruin concentration /mood.

And if you have so many things to remember, and you are not sure you will remember all the details. A simple visual aid can be easy in remembering the gender of a character.

 

[pogre]

It's odd to me that the DM made this call. Obviously, he was familiar with you playing opposite gender roles, as he is in the other group. Perhaps a friendly e-mail asking him why he has made this ruling and if it has anything to do with how you have played characters in the other campaign? Perhaps he has observed something that indicates to him that you might roleplay better as a same sex PC - although I am at a complete loss as to what this observation might be.

Ask him.

 

[Maldur]

With visual aid I mean the players Body

 

[CanadienneBacon]

Clarifications:

1.) The DM and I are only players in the first, larger group.

2.) I play a female character in the first, larger group; thus, the DM has only ever seen me play a female character.

3.) The first, larger group is also new and we've played only one session together as a group...though, things have been in the works for a month or so, getting that group together.

4.) My problems stem from the second, smaller group that I've created, not the first larger group.

5.) Distraught, I had a couple of glasses of Chardonnay after I started this thread and am currently a teensie bit tipsy. Maybe I'd better stop posting now and wait until the morning.

Thank you all for the kind advice, please, keep it coming because despite my inebriation I am still at a loss as to what I will/should do. I am usually a very calm and rational person, but for some reason this situation really bums me out.

edit: I forgot to mention that I did, in fact, e-mail the DM earlier this evening (yes, BEFORE I had the wine! ) and asked him to please explain his reasoning behind limiting the sex of characters. I can't stress enough that the DM is a nice person; I was totally and completely baffled as to why he'd go to such an extreme. I anxiously await his reply. On a personal note, I also DM (the only reason I'm not doing it this time around is because I can't DM and look after my three kids while my husband is away at sea for the next six months) and I, by God, would never dream of slapping such an imposition on my players, particularly not for a roleplaying-intensive campaign.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Clarifications:

1.) The DM and I are only players in the first, larger group.

4.) My problems stem from the second, smaller group that I've created, not the first larger group.

Wait... I need a clarification on your clarification.

You've created a group that's smaller than a group where you and the DM are the only players?

That's small.

And not really a "group", technically.

-Hyp.

 

[CanadienneBacon]

Hypersmurf, sorry, it must be the wine.

Yes, there are two groups. The first group has six players. The DM of the second, smaller group and I are players in that first group.

The second group currently has three members: the DM, me, and a second player. We are recruiting (God help us) a third player. You're right, the second group is small, but purposely so. I wanted to limit the number of players to a maximum of three or four so that we could focus on characters. Like I said, we are just starting up, and are still looking to fill out the second group.