The adventures of Father Slaughter, Village Priest of Erythnul.
A village youth: "Father Slaughter, I have a problem. Gwendolyn and I wish to marry, but her father has promised her to Sir Baltaff."
"Kill them! Slaughter the men and make their entrails an offering to the Great Lord Erythnul! It will fix everything and make you feel better! If the woman disapproves, kill her too!"
A fellow cleric: "Father Slaughter, I have a problem. Brother Mayhem keeps stealing my sacrificial victims and now he's trying to kill me."
"Kill him! Butcher him on our high altar! We will drink his blood together!"
"You told him the same thing, didn't you? What is your Wisdom anyway, like 7?"
"Aaaagh!" [swish] [hack] [thump]
A local noble: "Okay, we know you are dedicated to murdering everybody in this province, but look: if the peasants die of the plague, they can't die screaming at your hands. So help us cure this plague, will you?"
"Err... [hand quivers near axe hilt]... fine. [reaches for axe again] This time. [fiddles with axe handle] But someday I will bathe my axe in their blood!"
"Yes, well, we --"
"Aaaagh!" [swish] [hack] [thump]