Running Gags

[Andre]

I've got a BATTLEAXE!
Refers to an NPC in our RttToEE campaign. He was a big, strong young lad. Whenever anyone tried to intimidate or threaten the party, he'd say "Yeah, well, I've got a BATTLEAXE!" and mayhem would generally ensue. The best incident was when the character blew a fear save in the first round of combat and promptly ran away. A few rounds later, after the effect had worn off, he charged back toward the battle. In the distance we heard the faint words "I've got a Battleaxe..."

I'm with Hieronyous!
Same campaign, a paladin/cleric who tended to lead with his chin. Though the character had no ranks in intimidate or bluff, he kept trying to use these skills on the denizens of the Temple. Needless to say, he failed most times and they would always ask "Who are you and which group are you with?" Realizing that his bluff had been called, he would charge in to battle crying out his signature phrase.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Stick-with-a-nail-in-it.

We were always joking about the "superior arms" the enemy had, along the lines of: "oooh, look he's got a stick with a nail in it, I'm afraid", whenever they used less-than-spectacular weaponry.

Sure enouth, in one encounter we found a +1 stick-with-a-nail-in-it. We kept it as a keepsake, together with our "glorious scepter" (we wanted something to cast continual flame on it, and the best the shop had was a chair leg. It was a pretty chair leg, though).

In the epic part of the campaign, we later found a +10 stick-with-a-nail-in-it! We sold that one to an arms collector (we were too greedy to keep that one ;-))

"D&D Day"

36 seconds to 15 minutes of exertion followed by 8 hours of rest. Based on the effect in-game that one can use all of one's expendable resources in the course of a single 10-round combat, and need to rest for 8 hours to regain them or be useless for the rest of the day.

We had that problem with a player or two: One was a psion, and he'd blast away with all he had, augmenting to the max. This meant that he'd be very effective for a couple of rounds, but after that, he was empty, and started complaining that we should rest or he could as well go home because he was useless.

We introduced the rule that every caster/manifester/whatever only got to replenish their resources once per day, just like a cleric. They had to choose a time of day when they could restock, and had to be careful. Works fine.

 

[sniffles]

I just thought of another:

We've been running into Red Wizards a lot in our FR campaigns, and we've taken to exclaiming, "Curse you, Anthony!" whenever we do. A friend of ours used to freelance for TSR and was one of the developers who helped create the Red Wizards.

 

[Wystan]

Another one that we have is:

Whenever we start a Traveller or Star Wars, or any space game for that matter, campaign I am made to promise not to 'Shoot the captain in the face and push him out the airlock'. I did this with one pirate character that I had in a Star Wars D6 game as the other player had stated that he was not coming back anymore. (inter-friend strife is no fun)....

 

[Thunderfoot]

"Stop before you offend the gods!" "You keep it up and you'll offend the gods"-
One particular night (under the old OAD&D system) a player was being particullary annoying around our table. Finally the DM yelled "That's it, you've offended the gods and are stuck by 1 million 1millionth/hp lightning bolts, you take 1hp of damage - roll 1 million saving throws for all of your equipment!" Obviously his character was left standing naked and slightly singed. (Doesn't work in 3e+ but that phrase still ellicits laughter from those in the know)

"STONING OFFENSE!!"
Whenever someone breaks one of the rules of good decorum (like punning at the table - bad player, bad player, go to the corner!!) the DM yells "STONING OFFENSE!" and everyone hurls a die at the offender.

"It's a gazeebo!"
Everyone knows the real story, but anytime anyone in our group misses something obvious, someone always breaks out with "IAG!".

"It's only a flesh wound!"
Said in Monty Python voice when anyone takes massive damage.

"Brother Maynard, bring up the Holy Handgrenade!"
Usually said when it appears that the party is ineffectively (ie not doing diddly squat) damaging a monster or foe.

"CLERIC!"
Said in the WWII soldier style of voice, usually yelled by fighters with less than 10 hp left and still locked in battle.

 

[DarrenGMiller]

We have been at it since 2000 and there are a ton of running gags, even though only one player has been with me the whole time, they have been given to the new players as well and have lived on. Here is a sampling:

"Ale & Whores" - There was a PC whose battle cry and all he ever thought about was the two aforementioned items. They morphed into a second running gag during a D20 Modern game based on Stephen King's Dark Tower series (see below).

"Taters & Gravy" - Taken from Stephen King's Dark Tower for my D20 Modern game, this became a "poor man's" counterpart to the above.

"Don't impose your Judeo-Christian values on me!" - We had a female gamer in our group who looked pretty hot and always wore revealing goth-inspired garments to sessions. In one game, she was playing a member of the "oldest profession" yet she refused to ply her wares for any reason. When NPC's made outrageous monetary offers, she refused, when almost the only thing between a TPK and escape was her PC's practicing of her trade, she refused. When another PC gifted her with a small treasure hoard of gems and gold, she "got a headache." When another player questioned how she was role-playing her character based on the PC's background of having been a prostitute from the time she was a young girl and using it to her advantage, he got frustrated with her backpedaling and excuses and told her, "You're playing a harlot for God's sake!" She replied, "Don't you impose your Judeo-Christian values on me!"

"That's broken & retarded!" - We had one player who called any rule he didn't like "broken" and another who called rules he didn't like "retarded." I called them on it and the catchphrase immediately took flight.

"Mittens the Mighty Archer" - The nickname of a PC who cast Continual Flame on his gauntlets to increase his "bling factor." The player left soon after the nickname was bestowed.

"Oh Gawd & baby dragons" - Taken from the Jerky Boys character who said, "Oh God and baby Jesus." Used to be spoken with a dead-on impersonation by a player who was great at voice impressions."

"That was my nickname in high school." - We have a player who responds with this to almost everything we say. It is actually pretty funny, especially when the conversation goes like this: DM - "You see a huge deformed giant with one eye." Player - "That was my nickname in high school."

I am sure there are more that I will think of later.

DM

 

[WayneLigon]

Aunt May's Discretion -- In Champions, there is a level of unconsciousness called 'GM's Discretion' - you're out so bad that it's up to the GM when you can wake up. We had several combats that put people so outragously into negative STUN - in at least one case in the triple digits - that we decided that they were so deeply unconscious not even the GM could give them permission to wake up. He'd have to phone Spider-Man's Aunt May. Being the kindly soul she was, she'd instantly grant the request. Since she was a fictional character, though, getting ahold of her was a major problem.....

Chaz Stealth. Chaz was my Werewolf character. Despite (or, actually, due to the way WoD dice pools work, because) of his high stealth scores he never made a single roll for sneaking or concealing anything. Ever.

 

[Tinner]

The jets fly backwards - This is my standard answer when the PC's question why my world doesn't always work the same way the books say. (Despite the fact that I have told them time and again, if things don't act in a normal fashion, you can safely assume there IS a plot reason for it. The phrase has been shortened from "It's my world, and if I want the jets to fly backwards, they will!"


Don't taunt happy fun X - Where X=horrible monster. From the classic SNL Happy Fun Ball sketch. Used whenever a PC tries to talk smack to something far more powerful than him.

Cedric broke the world! - A PC cleric in my game was tasked with spending a night in a magical bed. Whatever he dreamt of would alter reality. He trained and trained to control his dreams, and then proceeded to botch his roll so badly, we ruled that his vow of abstinence and chastity had caused him to have an erotic dream, starring all the members of his temple. Thus Pelor became the god of sun, light, good, and pleasure. This led to a massive portfolio restructuring amongst the gods, and the repeated cry by the other PC's that CBTW!

 

[Masquerade]

I'm beginning to remember more as I traverse the newer posts.

"It goes WHACK-WHACK!" or "But does it go WHACK-WHACK?"
Derived from an explanation given by a fellow player of how a two-bladed sword operates. Any double weapon is commonly described as "going WHACK-WHACK".

"A Rollazondo" and "But I'm wearing an entertainer's outfit!"
A character played in a separate campaign than the one above, but by the same player. The Great Rollazondo was a flamboyant clown sorcerer who enjoyed setting things on fire. However, his most notable escapade was trying to walk across a rope rather than climb across it. He had no ranks in balance. The justification was that he was wearing an entertainer's outfit. He barely survived the fall.

"Healin' and drinkin'!"
Catch phrase of our group's dwarf cleric.

 

[Shane_Leahy]

Red Wagon

Old campaign, one player (played a somewhat cowardly thief) showed up late and asked the rest of the party what was happening. One of the new players told him they were going after a Red Dragon. To which he responded "Red Dragon!?! No way in heck...". Another player quickly calmed things down..."Red Wagon, we are hunting a red wagon..."

I still feel sorry for that poor peasant who was all proud of his nice new Red Wagon.

It turned out whenever the party was going to do something that another character/player may not want to do, they were always hunting a Red Wagon.