Scarred Lands: None Dare Call Them Heroes (updated 12/07/03)

[wolff96]

Re: Olaf, soon to be a troll?

One quick question, is Olaf married to a waifish witch named Anyanka?

Just because I have to be ridiculously anal about my favorite show... when Olaf was married, it was to a girl named "Aud". She didn't gain the name Anyanka until she became a Vengance Demon -- D'Hoffryn gave her that name because it suited her soul.

-------------------------

Buffy trivia aside, this is an awesome story hour! I haven't read any of your work before, jonrog, but now I'm going to have to go back and start... so much for free time!

 

[jonrog1]

CH. 6: "Wherein our heroes drink whiffy beer and grudgingly participate in a hoary plot device."

Even Argent, pressed as he was to save the lives of the soldiers, paused to watch Vivian Godwyn's blood seep through needle-thin channels within Rupert's glass arm. One by one, small dials turned. One bit of the blood reached a tiny spinning gear and was split into a thicker red goo and a clear fluid. Reactive parchments inserted in the path of the blood smeared in rainbows of colors as impurities were drawn out --

"BLOODY HELL! Boiling water NOW!" Rupert grabbed a pot from a passing servant girl. With his teeth he flipped open a purge valve below his shoulder and flooded the arm with the scalding water. He waited until every bit of the young woman's blood was thoroughly washed from his system. His mild voice was back. "Going to take me two days to reset this thing." He sighed, gestured the party to the bar. "Right, you know what spell-resistance is?"

Most of the group shrugged. Alec nodded. "Some creatures are unaffected by the energies of Mesos, the fallen titan of magic."

"Precisely. I'm thinking of relatives of the Asathi in particular, the Yuan-ti. Anyway ..." Rupert poured what was left of the boiling water from the pot into a teacup. " ... someone's combined yuan-ti blood with a neuro-toxin, and then altered it. Not only is the poison resistant to magical healing, magical energies set of a chain reaction within the toxin, accelerating its effects."

Indigo nodded. Then she shook her head. "I know those were sentences, because you stopped at the end. But what?"

Kirby gestured for the barkeep, Ronin, but answered Indigo. "Magic kills her faster. Rupert here's got to go gnomo-a-mano with his alchemical abilites." When the pudgy bartender arrived Kirby flipped down a few gold coins he'd pulled off dead men on the battlefield. "Whatever you've got that passes for beer." Ronin's eyes widened with almost supernatural delight. Clutching the gold like a secret lover, he scurried away.

"I can't beat that toxin, not with what I've got here." Rupert looked to Alec again. "I'm going to do research. Can you think of anything?"

Alec sighed. Most people had no idea what it meant to draw on bardic lore. Hundreds of years of information were encoded in mnemonic devices and stories, to be unraveled when needed. But once he tugged one end, he'd have to plow through all of it in a semi-hypnotic state. After his time on the battlefield and the journey ... but he simply nodded. "Going to need a room."

"I think we can handle that, mates!" Ronin was back with three pitchers of a semi-solid, muddy orange beer. It ... glopped as it fell into their glasses. "Bringing such fine news and heroism, asy'are, and coinage too, we'll give you the finest Cambragia has to offer."

Rupert left to begin his research. The party, exhausted, all took a long sip of their beers. They stopped, stared into the mugs. "It has a ... musty aftertaste," ventured Taggart.

"Well, we dinnae have much room here in the encampment, so we ferment it back with the fertilizin' pond Rupert set up." Ronin grinned at his ingenuity.

It took them a moment. "We're drinking sh*t beer," Taggart said flatly.

Ronin shrugged. "Would nae say that. It's just beer, but with a healthy cut of manure in the barley mix, and a bit o' methane in the tubs."

The group looked at each other. Then, as one, they shrugged too. Three years of warfare. Beer was beer.


******************************


Taggart pulled at his brother's robes. "Come on, its past midnight. At least eat." The rest of the party was resting. The innkeeper and his wife were abed. Only the eager scullery-boy Zed was up. He waited at Taggart's side, vibrating with hero worship.

Argent finally let himself be pulled away from the wounded. He sat at the bar. He tasted the bread, then guiltily chawed it down. "I knew you were alive."

"Well, you were almost wrong more times than I can count." Taggart rummaged around for tobacco. Zed immediately presented him with a filled pipe. "I see the orphanage lessons of the Sisters of Madriel took."

"Not just their lessons, blessed as they are. From them I took my spiritual path. But once I was out in the world, well ..." Argent nodded to the short-spear leaning against the wall. "What was it that Mother Elizabeth always said?"

"'You can get more with a sharp blade and a kind word than a kind word alone,' I believe," Taggart chuckled. "How old was she when she finally passed?"

"Still alive."

"No bloody way. She'd be a wight by now." Taggart put his feet up on a table, leaned back. A comfortable silence descended. "Gods, weren't for the scar tissue on my back and that ridiculous beard of yours, you'd think I never left."

"Family's that way," Argent answered.

Taggart was about to snap something back, but he just let it sit. He may have something there ... "So what holy mission have you accepted in the Goddess's name?"

Argent swelled a bit. "I hunt the undead."

Taggart swelled a bit too. Pretty tough job that, and his brother ... well, they wrote stories about such men. "And your second discipline?"

At that Argent hesitated. "You know, the land has suffered greatly under the war."

Taggart cocked his head. "Oh, healing or some such? Of course, the aid station --"

"We'll never rebuild the beauty of Ghelspad for the Goddess without considering her bountiful nature. And look at the damage the blood of Mormo has wrought, the Haggard Hills, the Hornsaw Forest ..."

Taggart clued in. Argent stared at him, daring him to say anything. Taggart knew he shouldn't.

But it was his brother.

"Your second domain is plants?" Argent gritted his teeth as Taggart laughed and laughed. Oh, he'd apologize later. But for now, he'd enjoy coming up with elf-sounding girlie nicknames to torment Argent.


******************************


Dawn broke bright the next morning. More of the surviving villagers of Cambragia clustered around the inn. Although they had nothing to do with the end of the supernatural raintorms, the party's arrival was now linked with the village's relief. Taggart was at the bar eating Myrna's surprisingly good pancakes, watching his brother check up on his patients. Kirby and Alec thudded down the stairs from the second-floor boarding rooms. Taggart rolled his eyes. Somehow, even in a wrecked village in a war zone, Kirby had found someone to wash and starch his velvet vest and crisp white shirt. Even his boots were shined. His long coat was mended and folded crisply over one arm. Kirby could have walked straight out of that wrecked shell-hole and into the finest gaming house in Darakeene.

"How'd you sleep?" Taggart asked Kirby.

"Couldn't sleep on the bed," Kirby frowned. "Too many months in the dirt. Wound up sleeping on the floor. Where's the Oathblade?"

"Outside, doing her blade-dance. Sword's almost as big as she is." Taggart seemed thoughtful as he crammed more stale bread inot his mouth. "Aren't Oathblades supposed to be Veshian royalty? She doesn't seem the part."

Alec tested the Shelzari coffee. Hmmph, must be a side benefit of a Shelzari inn-keeper. Finding it flavorless but pleasantly filth-free, he gulped it. "Indigo won it through trial of combat." He smiled at their surprise. "Yes, just a merchant family, and a young woman no less, toe to toe with a dozen full-blood warriors and she was the last standing. Only happened twice in the last century. That story was why I was looking for her in the trenches --"

"The apple." They turned to see Rupert standing behind and below them. He was looking to Alec for confirmation.

Alec nodded. In a voice eerily similar to the bard from whom he'd learned the story, he repeated: "Not of magic nor of gods, matter mixed to perfect pitch, balanced both life and death within a single twisted limb ..."

Rupert waved him off. He paused as Indigo entered. She was pulling her white blouse on over her leather bustier-armor. If she'd been doing her sword exercises like that, no wonder there'd been a crowd ... "The gods or fate smile on us. Alchemists write of an apple which when consumed can cure any illness. The apple is not magical -- its power is all contained in its breeding and perfect alchemical balance. That apple was sold once a year in a remote village called Oakhurst." He paused for effect. "Remote to the rest of Ghelspad, as it was situated in the Blood Steppes. Four days southeast from here."

Argent bowed his head. "Blessed be the wisdom of Madriel who has led us here to this refuge of all refuges, where one so knowledgeable --"

Taggart responded around another mouthful of pancakes. "Enjoy your trip to Oakhurst. I'm sure it's another charming smoking ruin in the wastes." Argent punched him in the shoulder. "OWW! Whaaattt?"

Alec pulled out a map of the Blood Steppes. "You know, one of the mysteries of the war was why the Bandit King never swung south towards Calastia. Oakhurst may have been within the protected zone."

"There should be a sizable reward," Rupert continued.

"From a royal family who can't even rescue their youngest daughter from behind titanspawn lines, they're supposed to find us and PAY us?" Taggart shook his head. "No bloody way --"

Argent took him by the shoulders. "Brother, this is why fate returned us to each other. This is why we found this girl."

"Oh, I'm supposed to rescue her?"

"No. But I'm going for that apple. A quest I would certainly not survive alone. You're here so you can keep me alive."

Taggart bit off his sarcastic retort. Kirby piped in. "You know, it would be nice if the last ten years of our lives involving slavery, torture, and learning the dark ways of crime, stealth and brutal close-up fighting were somehow justified as training for this moment." Taggart stared at him. "I know, I know, ridiculous. But I would sleep easier."

Indigo didn't even pause. She took the map, headed out the door. "The old soldier rests because he believes I guard his young charge. This I cannot betray. Also, how long has it been since the battle?"

"Half a tenday," Alec answered.

"I hate to go an entire week without killing something. I get rusty. I'll be back with the horses."


*****************************


And so, a half-hour later, with what was left of Cambragia cheering at their backs, the party rode out from Olaf's obsessively murderous gates and into the blinding blood-red cliffs of the Steppes. Argent and Indigo rode at the head, Argent proudly riding tall in his saddle, shining spear at the ready. Alec was in the center scribbling in his notebook. Kirby and Taggart brought up the rear, cloaks and dusters wrapped around them. The front of the party looked as if it were on parade. The rear stunk of smuggler's habits.

Alec chuckled. "What?" Taggart grumbled.

"We're a party of adventurers who just accepted a job while at an inn." Alec shook his head. "Going to have to change this when I tell the story. No one's going to believe it actually happened."

 

[KidCthulhu]

Oooh. An update, and on my birthday, no less. Thanks, JonRog.

 

[Harp]

Hoary plot device or no, this update is the most fun I've had all week.

"...obsessively murderous gates..." I love dis place!

So when can we see the gang in the Rogue's Gallery? I'm having only the slightest trouble keeping them straight.

 

[wolff96]

"We're a party of adventurers who just accepted a job while at an inn." Alec shook his head. "Going to have to change this when I tell the story. No one's going to believe it actually happened."

It's quotes like this one that have addicted me to yet another story hour.

Thanks, jonrog1, for making something so much fun to read.

 

[Fulcan]

Great Scarred Lands flavor

jonrog-

I've enjoyed all of the Scarred Lands SH's, but so far I think the flavor you have created with your SH is dead on what I was imagining while reading the source books. Thanks for taking this on and keep it coming.

Thanks.

 

[Zarthon]

"We're a party of adventurers who just accepted a job while at an inn." Alec shook his head. "Going to have to change this when I tell the story. No one's going to believe it actually happened."

Classic

 

[jonrog1]

So when can we see the gang in the Rogue's Gallery? I'm having only the slightest trouble keeping them straight.

It's the Alec/Argent thing -- got me too for a while and I was running the darn game. Well, seeing as the group just this week actually went through some membership changes, I don't want to dig out the originals, but here's a handy scorecard. In order of appearance:

TAGGART -- the guy with the duster and the punch-blade. Perpetually annoyed, instinctively suspicious. Not a heart of gold, but rare gold-like leanings. Ran away from the Madrielite orphanage and wound up in heaploads of trouble from Mithril to Termana with a bout of brutal slavery thanks to the Charduni. (Charduni for you non-Scarred Lands fans are dwarves who worship the LE god Chardun, warped by his dark energy into onyx-skinned warriors.) After years of stealing magic items, he's now halfway-decent at activating them. Said to resemble that captain fella from Firefly. (... cancelled ... must fight .. urge to kill ...) A rogue through and through, and in the Taggart/Kirby crime team, he's the lock-picker/trap cracker. In any succesful criminal team, you have the knock-in guy and --

KIRBY -- the faceman. He and Taggart are the perfect example of how a basic character archetype can be executed in two completely different ways. Charming, slick, devious, and a much more cheerful guy than his partner in crime. He actuallydoes have a heart of gold, as long as he can figure some way to scam some of that gold for himself. Kirby's got some exotic blood in him, just enough to make him the best-looking guy you've ever seen. His flaw is that he's always a little too put together. Like a TV weatherman.

INDIGO -- The same accent of Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride, but that's where the resemblance ends. Her sword's an inherited bastard sword almost as tall as she is. It's an Oathblade, one of a limited number of swords belonging to the royal families of Vesh. Some are magical, some exhibit strange abilities only in the hands of the proper owners. Indigo's from middle-class merchant stock, so the question of how exactly she got her hands on this without stealing it is an interesting story.

Indigo's only armor is a reinforced leather bustier she wears over or under her blouse, depending on the mood, and a long dark kilt-skirt cut she can move. Indigo drinks, smokes, dances and gambles like there's no tomorrow, and her only quest seems to be testing her limits as a tornado of death. She knows what she likes, knows what she hates, and does good deeds when the whim strikes her. The whim just rarely strikes her for free.

ARGENT: Taggart's long-lost twin brother. He stayed in the Madriel orphanage and became a cleric of the Goddess. He's got the shining wings of Madriel tattoed on his back, wears a white chain shirt, the whole deal. He's devoted to the aspects of nature in Madriel's worship -- he hunts the undead primarily because they're unnatural, not because they're evil. He recently set out to make a difference in the world. Once in the War, he discovered he'd have to play a lot harder ball than he was expecting. Unlike the rest of his party, he has a VERY highly developed moral sense. Description: shaved head, goatee, white short-spear, white chain shirt.

ALEC WOLFSBANE: The bard who doesn't sing. Tall, blonde, kind of alt-rocker good looking (this is actually a plot point later, don't think I"m getting all gooey). He uses his bardic talents of information gathering to act as a battlefield reporter and spy. He's got a nice little forgery kit, a packet of false ID papers under different names, and a tube of secret maps lifted from the militaries of the continent. He wears a foreign-designed lute on his back that gives off a rougher, bassier sound than most instruments but at this point all anyone's seen him do is tune it.

THE NPC'S:

RUPERT: the glass-armed gnome who'd retired to Cambragia just in time for the war. After the first wave of attacks he became the brains while Olaf was the brawn. He's Rupert Giles from Buffy, just three and a half feet tall. You get the idea.

OLAF: Olaf's voice is always dialed up to eleven. He's an Albadian raider with a dodgy past who's taken to blacksmithing as a past-time. To his surprise he both likes the craft and likes the town he settled in -- Cambragia, which was conveniently located far from any organized law enforcement. Olaf now defends Cambragia with the same single-minded ferocity with which he pillaged.

RONIN, MYRNA and ZED: Ronin is the owner of what's left of the only tavern in Cambragia. Despite his good heart, Ronin's not quite smart enough to know he's not as smart as he thinks he is, and hence a danger to himself and his wallet. Every idea is the "best idea EVER". It always involves bragging in that soft brogue of his, expanding the business in some idiotic way, and almost always fails. His Shelzari wife Myrna is practical, steadfast, and keeps the place going on sheer willpower alone. Zed is not their son, but a war orphan Myrna thinks of as her own. Most of the staff at the inn are war orphans Myrna's taken in as a foster family.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm sure some have guessed what adventure the group is on, and so know who the group'll be running into soon ...

 

[wolff96]

I'm sure some have guessed what adventure the group is on, and so know who the group'll be running into soon ...

Actually meant to comment on that earlier... love the set-up. It's vaguely similar to the one I used to get my group involved -- though my endangered nobleman's daughter wasn't in the middle of a war.

I'm looking forward to seeing how my favorite NPC might be altered by his presence in the Scarred Lands.

 

[Harp]

It's the Alec/Argent thing -- got me too for a while and I was running the darn game. Well, seeing as the group just this week actually went through some membership changes, I don't want to dig out the originals, but here's a handy scorecard.

Outstanding. That's exactly what I needed. Many thanks.

Said to resemble that captain fella from Firefly. (... cancelled ... must fight .. urge to kill ...)

Tell me about it, brother. As much as I respect the hue and cry over the cancellation of Farscape, Firefly hit me much harder. But I suppose that's a subject for another forum entirely...

"Your second domain is plants?" Argent gritted his teeth as Taggart laughed and laughed. Oh, he'd apologize later. But for now, he'd enjoy coming up with elf-sounding girlie nicknames to torment Argent.

I forgot to comment on this before. I'm amazed at the way you can take an innocuous little mechanic like domain selection and make it an integral, relationship-defining part of the story. Anyone who claims gaming fiction isn't worth the bits its written with should be directed here, right here.