Scorpion King: Verdict?

[reapersaurus]

I don't like the guy, I absolutely hate wresting, and I'm GLAD this movie was as bad as I knew it would be. So There. heh.

And this is why you shouldn't listen to people's opinions on the internet when they just say "The movie sucked.
The acting was horrible.
It was painful to sit thru"

All of those type of typical internet comments regarding films are more than likely stemming from some OTHER place in the reviewer's mind than the actual film.

You should NEVER discount something (especially nowadays, with the overly-critical internet falling over themselves to bash something like it's a hobby) unless the reviewer actually details WHY they something was bad.

I have no problems if someone goes thru and explains why they did not have a favorable impression of a movie.

I DO have a problem when someone just spouts a bunch of biased slander without solid reasoning.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Damn fine fantasy/action movie. It worked and was an enjoyable watch, better than Conan (wooo don't hurt me) ever was.

What I thought was interesting is that it worked without really big special effects and bloodshed, it teased with scanity clad/unclad women without resorting to full frontal nudity (there is nothing wrong with that). The fights were good and stayed in character (major characters kick NPCs butts but good fights with other major characters). Story and plot was standard fair. The acting was very good, lines deliveried and defined the characters. Just a little too much humor but it worked. The background music was a little too loud to me.

See it.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Whoa, I'm still recovering from JLXC's fair and unbiased review of the movie.

Seriously, I really liked this film. From the opening scene where Mathius rescues his brother from a tribe of northern barbarians (at least that's what I'm assuming they are), to the sandstorm battle, to the climax. This film had some really great fight scenes. The Rock did admirable for his first starring role, and I can see this guy having a great future in action movies. Kelly Hu's main job in this movie was to look pretty, and she did that very well (most men won't complain about the fact that she spends the bulk of the movie wearing very little). Michael Clark Duncan was alright in his role, but this was the first movie I've seen him in where he gets to kick ass, so I liked it.

The film did have rough spots, but nothing too terribly bad. The dialogue was cheesy, the villian was two-dimensional (not to mention that he violated several of the "evil overlord" rules ), the CGI effects were unconvincing, and the acting was wooden. Still, I enjoyed this film more than The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, which I also enjoyed a lot.

Universal wanted to keep this movie PG-13 so that it can get as many viewers as possible. There are plenty of sword fights and people getting hit by arrows, but very little blood. There are plenty of scantily-clad women, but no actual nudity. Still, those things don't hurt the move very badly either.

Some people will inevitably pan this movie for not being the next Conan the Barbarian, and I say let 'em. My friends and I have a saying:

If it's a stupid movie but you enjoyed it, than it isn't stupid.

So, I may go see this movie again, and I'll probably buy the DVD when it comes out. Maybe I'll even write up Mathius' D&D stats later. Yeah, he'd definately be a high-level fighter with specialization in scimitars and composite longbows.

 

[Chairman_Kaga]

Damn fine flick!

Good cheesy action fair!

The Chairman is pleased...

 

[reapersaurus]

Maybe I'll even write up Mathius' D&D stats later. Yeah, he'd definately be a high-level fighter with specialization in scimitars and composite longbows.

How bout when he shot the Mighty bow and the arrow hit caused the dude to fly OUT THE WINDOW and like 50 yards away?! LOL

great cheesy super-hero like action sequences...

And did anybody else wonder in The Scene: how many takes it took to get Kelly Hu's hair just right when she did her wet-hair-flip?

 

[Oni]

I got to thinking, since they copped the name Memnon, they should have just gone whole hog and cast Micheal Duncan Clark as the villian, he was definately at his best when he was being bad (like the scene where Balthazar was introduced). He would have made a much better villian for the rock because he looks like he could physically match the rock, unlike the other fellow they had.

 

[Dark Jezter]

Well, here it is, the stats for Mathius. He is a skilled fighter, but I also gave him a couple of levels in rogue because I wanted him to have access to Sneak Attack and skills like Move Silently and Hide. I would have given him levels in assassin instead, but assassins have to be evil, and Mathius isn't evil... yet (we'll wait for any upcoming sequels for that )

Mathius
Male human Ftr7/Rog3: CR 9; Medium-sized humanoid (human); HD 7d10+21 plus 3d6+9; hp 88; Init +3; Spd 30 ft.; AC 15 (touch 13, flat-footed 12); Atk +13/+8 melee (1d6+8/18-20, scimitar) or +12/+7 ranged (1d8+6/X3, mighty composite longbow +4); SQ Sneak Attack 2d6, Evasion, Uncanny Dodge (dex bonus to AC), traps; AL N, SV Fort +9, Ref +8, Will +3; Str 18, Dex 16, Con 17, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 17. Height 6 ft. 5 in.

Skills and Feats: Climb +8, Disguise +4, Handle Animal +5, Hide +6, Intimidate +4, Jump +5, Move Silently +5, Ride +7, Search +1, Spot +3, Swim +5, Use Rope +4; Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Improved Unarmed Strike, Point Blank Shot, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Mighty Composite Longbow +4), Weapon Focus (Scimitar), Weapon Specialization (Mighty Composite Longbow +4), Weapon Specialization (Scimitar).

Possessions: Scimitar, Mighty Composite Longbow +4, leather armor, several daggers and other assasination tools.

 

[Derulbaskul]

Stats

Don't forget that he also uses a kama and throwing stars. You may also want to give him a level or two in ranger (or more), particularly as he fights two-handed. Adding to the ranger argument are his wilderness lore and animal empathy: the former because he knew the sandstorm was coming and how to deal with it, the latter in terms of his obvious deep respectful love and affection for his, um, camel.

I would also argue that he was probably using a monkey gripped falchion (dumb name- why not iron grip instead?) rather than a scimitar. Then again, I'm no expert of ancient/medieval weapons.

Cheers
NPP

 

[Berandor]

Re: Re: what's wrong with overly-critical people?

Oh, wow, did you hit the nail on the head with that observation!

If you take your movies (and yourself) too seriously, don't bother seeing it. Since I knew what I was paying for before I walked in, I enjoyed it a lot. It was good, comic-book style fun.


Wulf

I think it depends on the type of movie..
Scorpion King, Conan, and its like - yes, don't take them seriously.

But when these flicks (not movies) are the only thing to choose from, and the only "intellectual" entertainment in cinema is "the beautiful mind", I would be missing something.

B

 

[Hand of Evil]

How bout when he shot the Mighty bow and the arrow hit caused the dude to fly OUT THE WINDOW and like 50 yards away?! LOL

great cheesy super-hero like action sequences...

Knockback works for gun and games, so it is fair it works for mighty bows too.

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I think Mathyus was more a Ranger/Assassin or Barbarian/assassin.