S'mon said:
Hi Thanee - I'm happy to discuss it & try to explain what we do - and I am thinking of doing secret Spot & Listen checks as you suggested, I just don't see Sense Motive as a passive skill - I know IRL I only ever notice if someone's lying or being evasive if I actively concentrate on it, so in that case I don't really see it as different from making a Search or Attack roll. The SM roll is there to pick up on the non-verbal cues & body language that tells whether someone is lying.
What I don't like about Rules Forum is the contemptuous attitude some posters have towards anyone who deviates from their play style - I've generally avoided replying to those posters on this thread. The worst kind use the "So you use roleplaying for character interaction, I guess you must make your players cartwheel across the living room when they want to make Tumble checks, then" type straw-man argument". I don't have much respect for those who can't distinguish between in-character role-playing, which can be done fine around the table by the players themselves, and things like physical actions (or spellcasting!) which obviously can't.
I'm not contemptuous of your playing style; I just think it's based on some rather silly assumptions both about Sense Motive, "real life," and linking PC traits with "player traits." Obviously you can and should play however you want; that does not mean I will accept your play assumptions as "valid" or even "reasonable" or even "in the spirit of the rules" (or even, "something fun I would ever want to be associated with"). To repeat: play however you want. Likewise, I will continue to think badly of certain decisions you have made leading to that playing style, and will maintain (as is my right) that I would not have much fun in your game, probably, nor would a lot of other people. Which you probably care as much about as, say, the black ant I killed with my left hand when I was eight. But, luckily, I'm a man, and can take such serious slights.
Why I think you reasoning is silly:
You bring "real life" into the game, making game mechanics fit your view of "real life" (which I think, in addition, is flawed). For example, because you don't "sense lies/etc." in real life without concentrating, PC's don't either. I might claim that you in RL are not very good as these sorts of things; and just because you don't do them automatically, it's wrong to assume everyone can't thus PC's (none of them) can. That's just ridiculously egocentric. It's a big world, a big one, people can do a lot of crazy things -- yes, even some things you are not capable of (take a deep breath). A very empathic, experienced bartender might sense almost all "lies/half-truths" automatically; obviously a horny teenage boy might miss even the most obvious signals of untruth. A professional gambler might notice everything automatically. Who are you to say? And why bring this into a game which has clear fictional precidents who can and often DO "sense motive" in a passive way all the time (and very effectively, often, i.e. "I didn't like the way that waiter handed me my coffee, I will upend my cup -- hey! It's acid!").
I also don't like how your style of play cheapens social-interaction skills, or forces a social PC to be incredibly obnoxious ("I sense motive." "I sense motive." "I sense motive." Repeat ad nauseum, ad infinitum). Is this fun for anyone? Why force players to bring up mechanical rolls all the time if you care about roleplaying? Isn't this the last thing you want?
That's funny. I wish there'd been waaaay more questions and fewer frustrated, patronising monologues in this thread! 
Don't mean to even suggest you do, to be honest, obviously our styles differ and from what I can gather your style works for you. 
), I just have the vision, who the NPC is and go from there. 
