I hear your point and that's not really what I meant. I mean, I think we all experience the same basic emotions: your experience of jealousy or rage or wonder isn't all that different from mine. How they differ is mostly in terms of what triggers them, or to what degree we experience them.I don’t think we ever have perfect understanding of anyone, but doesn't this attitude just turn people into more of an other? Essentially it starts from ‘this person is so different from me, they are ultimately unknowable’. That doesn’t seem like it is healthy or likely to produce empathy. My wife is from another country, from another culture and a different language. Somehow we have managed to bridge that. I think if we viewed one another as do alien neither of us could understand the other truly, we’d have no real human connection.
But you cannot know my own biography, all the things that led to me being me (and vice versa). The beginning of true empathy is to grok that.