Share your experiences with familiars.

Have you ever had the DM play the familiar? And does the other player only play when the familiar is inteligent enough to talk etc, or is it simply:

You: I ask my familiar to do X

Other player: I do X

Plus any descriptive flavour?
 

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+8 to Hide? I don't even know why a monster would even pay attention to a rat. Rats wander dungeons all the time. (Same thing with scouting wildshape.)

I had a wizard IMC who died by jumping into a pool one too many times. (If you jumped into the pool, it gave you a magical tattoo based on your class, but most of the time the tattoo wouldn't stick.)

His rat familiar jumped in afterwards and got a magic tattoo. Because it wasn't a mage I couldn't give the standard bonuses, but I let it cast magic missile once per day as a 7th-level spell. The player started using the rat as a (one-shot) pistol, much to the amusement of other party members. Otherwise the familiar just gave a Fort save bonus.
 

For the most part, familiars in games I've played have had a "in the pack except when scouting" role. Hardly ever saying anything, either. The one exception was when I played a Half-orc barbarian sorcerer with a Raven familiar, the raven believing that he was a Polymorphed wizard that tought his "apprentice" spells. He ended up doing all the talking and was a blast to play.

Party ordering dinner at the tavern:
Rogue: I'll have the soup.
Ranger: Soup
Cleric: I'll take the Soup as well.
Raven: I'll have the mutton.
Serving girl backs away a bit in panic.
Raven: Err, make mine the Soup instead then.
Serving girl runs away.
 

Familiars... lessee.
In one game, had a awakened dire badger sorceror -- his familiar was his badger son. It added the joy of having a familiar to the problems of parenting a teenager. He was a gond follower, and the wild mage in the party tended to experiment on the familiar -- at one point the familiar was granted an intelligence of 29 for about ten minutes -- the sorceror was a Gond follower, so they whipped up the specifications for a rifle in the time his brain held out -- afterwards the familiar had an inadequacy complex. It was a fun story, wouldn't have been the same without the familiar being the son of the PC. (And there was also the backstory of rescuing the kid from the evil ex-wife they both hated, but the game didn't last that long.... for... some.. reason or another...)

The other familiar story I delt with lately had the mystic theurge in the party, who started as a cleric, approached by a bird, who was sure it was not a bird, who knew it was his familiar. The barbarian in the party tried to turn it into a mouse, but ended up with an undead bat with skeletal wings, the furry body of a mouse, the head of a bat, and a single skeletal bird leg dangling from its body. Bert (not a bird and not a bat) was primarily used only as a story device of self pity, and an example of what the barbarian would do to people if they were bad.

In short, all of my fun stuff with familiars has been with stuff that was completely off the wall.

I've mainly had a lot of fun with familiars that like their master, but generally consider themselves superior on some level, and tend to be smartalecky... fun that way for me to DM.

In Changeling I had a pseudodragon that wore a dinner jacket and a monocle, had a British accent, and did my homework for me, but that's a different game... fun though.
 

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