Some Social Aspects of RPGs

RPG campaigns are social as well as gaming events. Sometimes the GM’s social desires interfere with setting up a campaign. But at the other extreme, people can meet their future spouses via RPGs.

Picture courtesy of Pixabay.​

This column stems from a conversation I had with a couple college students about a potential D&D campaign. We’ll call the major participant “Bob”. (While I’m not an official member of the club, I often attend to have people playtest my board and card games, and at some point I might playtest my very simple boardgame-like RPG.)

Bob wanted to run a D&D campaign at a regular club meeting. His friend was already running a Dystopia Rising campaign at the Thursday meeting (club met three days a week). Bob wanted to make that campaign end so that he could run his, apparently because he couldn’t otherwise find enough players. So I said, why not pick a different day, and some players might play in both campaigns? It turned out that he felt he had to run the campaign on the same day as the Dystopia Rising campaign. Okay I said, why not find a different room that’s open on Thursday? Or recruit players from the video game club at the same college, where people also play Magic: the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh but meet on Monday and Wednesday? The other student, who was a vice president of the club, was going along with my suggestions. But it turned out Bob (who was the president) wanted to play with people he already knew.

So Bob was ready to mess with the GM and players to try to kill off the other campaign (or at least, that’s what he said, and he is a wild sort of fellow). I told Bob I’d not be inclined to play D&D with a GM who was willing to screw with his friends to this extent, because I’d expect him to screw with the players. GM’s who run games to amuse themselves (rather than entertain the players) don’t interest me.

Bob wants to entice players to “press the red button,” which will result in something bad happening. (You know, the switch labeled “Danger,” that some yahoo will nonetheless try.) But when I described the whole style of button-pushing, lever-pulling D&D to him, he got excited.

I first saw teens playing this style late in the evening at a Diplomacy convention 35 or so years ago. The GM presents players with a series of switches. When the switch is activated, more often than not something good happens, but sometimes something bad. Because the good outweighs the bad, the characters activate the switch. Some players refuse to pull the lever, but a great many will, just to see what happens, as long as they know it’s more likely to reward than harm. Think of the original Deck of Many Things, the same kind of thing in concentrated and exaggerated form. Smart people would find a really low-level character and let that character pick from the deck.

Back to Bob. The two problems were that he had to play on Thursday and he wasn’t willing to try to recruit players he didn’t know. In the end, Bob didn’t run a campaign at all.

Most of the RPG campaigns I know of hereabouts are played at a game shop or in a classroom (or public area) on a college campus. Clearly there are many others that are hosted at somebody’s house, frequently the GM’s. I did that for many years when I wasn’t hosting boardgame playtests. We tried to get several people to GM so that no one was stuck with the job (I view people who prefer GMing to playing with great suspicion!), and the hosting would be passed around as well.

There are many ways to recruit players. I’ve used notices posted at game shops, and more recently Meetup.com. You can talk with gamers in any game meeting.

I don’t see a reason to be reluctant to recruit people you don’t know. Through the years, many of my friends have been RPGers. I met my wife that way while living in London researching my doctoral dissertation. I was contacted (through a game shop notice) by someone from University of London who wanted to learn how to play D&D. But before we could meet at the start of the next term, he was "sent down" (flunked out to a lower level university not in London)! A friend of his then wrote to me, and I went down to U. London to teach four people. In the end, I married one; another married my wife's best friend; the other two married one another, although they were just friends at the time; and we're all still married to one another 40 years later. That’s the social power of RPGs.

This article was contributed by Lewis Pulsipher (lewpuls) as part of EN World's Columnist (ENWC) program. We are always on the lookout for freelance columnists! If you have a pitch, please contact us!
 

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Lewis Pulsipher

Lewis Pulsipher

Dragon, White Dwarf, Fiend Folio

Nagol

Unimportant
Bob sounds like a Richard. I'd be very leery about joining a campaign of someone who sabotaged someone else's to get the timeslot.

As for recruiting people you don't know: gamers run the same gamut of personality demographics as the regular population. It often works out reasonably well.
The upside is you get exposed to gaming styles that are new to you and you meet someone with at least one common interest.
The downside is there is a decent chance you find someone who is a poor fit for the group. At best, this leads to some unpleasantness as they are removed. At worst, it can destabilise a seemingly stable group and cause the game or group to disintegrate.
 
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Ramaster

Adventurer
Bob sounds like a Richard. I'd be very leery about joining a campaign of someone who sabotaged someone else's to get the timeslot.

As for recruiting people you don't know: gamers run the same gamut of personality demographics are the regular population. It often works out reasonably well.
The upside is you get exposed to gaming styles that are new to you and you meet someone with at least one common interest.
The downside is there is a decent chance you find someone who is a poor fit for the group. At best, this leads to some unpleasantness as they are removed. At worst, it can destabilise a seemingly stable group and cause the game or group to disintegrate.

That last part is exactly what happened to me (minus the part were they cast Disintegrate). I recently dropped out of a table (it was like an hour drive with tolls and I had to cover all expenses) and posted a notice looking for players in my area on a local RPG facebook group.


We recruited 3 players. One of them was, as you said, not a good fit for our play style. He completed the first part of the campaign and dropped out in the middle of the second part (claiming family issues).


I've been gaming with the other 2 players ever since and having a blast.
 

Umbran

Mod Squad
Staff member
Supporter
So, I met the woman I married when she got recruited through a friend of a friend for a D&D game I was starting.

However, "I don't see a reason..." does not demonstrate that no reason exists. It demonstrates your lack of knowledge of reasons.
 

Jay Verkuilen

Grand Master of Artificial Flowers
That kind of "I'm going to tank someone else's campaign so I can run mine" is a total, utter jerk move.

I've met some lifelong friends through RPGs. Some friends of mine got married out of a D&D game and have four kids later. A few others were, to say the least, real pains in the tail. Happily and sadly, RPGs are played by people.
 

These days, it’s easier than ever to find a gaming group. Yet, for my home game, I keep it friends-only. It’s my home, and I’m not going to invite a rando into it. There are plenty of awesome people playing D&D, but there are also some ghastly ones.

For my open table at a gaming café, it does have the “open” descriptor after all. If there’s a spot at the table (which these days there often isn’t), anyone is welcome.

As for the feuding GMs story, that’s a bad scene, plain and simple. Wouldn’t want to play with either of those. Nor would I want to ever run a game for players that didn’t want to be there in the first place.
 

pogre

Legend
(I view people who prefer GMing to playing with great suspicion!)

Curious about this quote. I wonder if you might elaborate? I am curious because I am one of those people.

The standard at my table has always been players have to be decent human beings. I am always quick to pull the plug on folks who are not meshing with us for whatever reason. Fortunately, I have not had to do that in several years.
 


Gradine

The Elephant in the Room (she/they)
To be perfectly fair, there are few depths I wouldn't sink to in order to get out of a game of Diplomacy. :devil:
 

Blue

Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
My personal experience with RPG groups, which is far from the only way this plays out, is that every group I've been part of has grown from recommendation of one of the other players.

Now, I live in New Jersey, which has the dubious honor of being the most densely populated state in the US (1218 people per sq mile / 470 per sq km by the 2015 census). So that may help -- there are a lot of gamers around.

Every group I've either been brought in by an existing player, or me/another player has recommended someone new. Often but not always someone they have gamed with before. The most tenuous of them was one player had a coworker who read the Dragonlance books and wanted to watch a D&D game. She asked if she could bring her, and one session turned into months until the campaign end, and then she joined the next campaign.

For the groups I DM, I am specific that the DM only has "special authority" as it applies to the game, but things like the social group we game with are group decisions. So anyone can veto new players, and it's a group call if we want to change the number of players we have. (Mind you, the DM still is one of the group, so I still have a say - just as much as anyone else.)

Now, a recent friend did put together a group recently out of strangers, and it worked fairly well. Two ended up not returning and have been replaced. The only annoyance is one who shows up about 1/3 of the time, though he's good at letting us know when he won't be there.

I'm part of the group as an invite from him after it started - he hadn't known I played. So my "invite through friends" is still intact. Even my FLGS play was to specific groups through the owner of the store whom I gamed with since high school.
 

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