I kind of agree with the OP.
As DM, I spend 1 to 5 hours on each of my games each week and two of my players (one of whom is my wife) cannot be bothered to learn simple rules like it takes a minor action to pull out a weapon (or cannot be bothered to post their exact actions in a PBP game).
I think people do not learn with honey over vinegar, they just like it better. A few tastes of vinegar does get their attention more than the honey though.
I will typically point out when someone is about to make an obvious mistake if I get the chance, but if a problem player picks up the dice, declares his legal actions, and rolls right away, them's the breaks as far as I'm concerned.
I had a bunch of PCs climbing ropes and they got into an encounter and as they rushed forward, I said "you need to use a minor action to pull out your weapon". So, they moved in (move), pulled weapon (minor), and attacked (standard). That same round when the monsters attacked, one hit because one of the PCs did not yet have out her shield and she said "I wouldn't have gone into the room without putting my shield on first" and I replied "but you did, we are not going back to change it". She got a tiny bit pissy about it for a second, but was then laughing and enjoying herself a few minutes later. It really depends on your players, but it's not the DM's reponsibility to always cave in and it's not the player's rights to always be entitled.
I think players should take responsibility for knowing the rules and their own PC's abilities, and the DM shouldn't be forced to hold their hands all of the time. It's one thing with a new player, but someone who has been playing the game for a while should get with the program.