Stupid Player Syndrome
- Thread starter Michael Morris
- Start date
Kalen_Darkstar
First Post
In a very short lived dnd3e campaign me and the other two characters were on the trail of what we believed was a small band of orcs. Turns out the orcs numbered three or four times as many as we thought and had a siezed fort as their base. The elven ranger bieng the lightest decided to climb a tree and see if he could look over the shabby walls of the fort when he did so he was spotted. He quickly realized hey if they cant see me they cant hit me with arrows so he has our resident wizard cast globe of darkness on him.(Never thinking if its dark i cant see) Then attempts to climb down from the tree. He realized his theory was lacking when i fell out of my chair laughing as the dm described a rather quick but painfull journey to the ground. They didnt hit him though. LOL
DungeonmasterCal
First Post
I've noticed none of us have told Stupid Player Stories on ourselves. Well, let me be the first to confess to my own dip into the Well of Idiocy.
We were playing in a 2e adventure; the mission to track down and kill a creature that had been attacking villagers at night, puncturing their throats and draining them of blood. We enter a cavern complex, and after several encounters, enter a chamber whose only exit is the way we just came in. In the chamber, there is an ornate coffin sitting atop a small stone platform, and a single candle burning on 5 foot tall candle holder. After spending a good half hour (in real time) examining the coffin, the platform, and the candle stand, the party just stands there, arguing about what to do next.
My character (the 1e NPC bounty hunter class I'd converted to 2e) was still poking and prodding around the coffin, looking for traps or whatever. Finally, standing up in frustration, I licked my fingers and snuffed the candle, plunging the room into darkness. The whole party stopped talking suddenly and stared at the DM, who softly said, "You hear the creak of the coffin lid opening." The butt-kicking that was handed out (by a pseudo-vampire, fortunately) was truly epic. We managed to get out without losing any PC's, but the rest of the players have never let me live this down. To this day, I have no idea what possessed me to do this. Oy.
We were playing in a 2e adventure; the mission to track down and kill a creature that had been attacking villagers at night, puncturing their throats and draining them of blood. We enter a cavern complex, and after several encounters, enter a chamber whose only exit is the way we just came in. In the chamber, there is an ornate coffin sitting atop a small stone platform, and a single candle burning on 5 foot tall candle holder. After spending a good half hour (in real time) examining the coffin, the platform, and the candle stand, the party just stands there, arguing about what to do next.
My character (the 1e NPC bounty hunter class I'd converted to 2e) was still poking and prodding around the coffin, looking for traps or whatever. Finally, standing up in frustration, I licked my fingers and snuffed the candle, plunging the room into darkness. The whole party stopped talking suddenly and stared at the DM, who softly said, "You hear the creak of the coffin lid opening." The butt-kicking that was handed out (by a pseudo-vampire, fortunately) was truly epic. We managed to get out without losing any PC's, but the rest of the players have never let me live this down. To this day, I have no idea what possessed me to do this. Oy.
DungeonmasterCal said:
I shall be the second.
While playing AD&D 1st, our party was attacked by a werewolf. Since I was playing a CN Ftr/M-U, I decided to bite the werewolf back when it bit me. My character never contracted lycanthropy though, mainly because the DM ruled that he had contracted a rotting mouth disease which killed him before the next full moon.
I have no excuse for this blunder, although I will say that I was 12 at the time it happened and thought that I was playing "in-character" for chaotic neutral. I like to remind myself of this every time I get a complete newbie in a game, because I used to be the clueless n00b too.
Psychic Warrior
First Post
Chimera said:
You do realize that your story also doubles as a 'creepy gamer' one too right?
That and it's damned funny (I hope you are far enough removed from these events to laugh about them now)
I have been trying to think of a stupid player story but really haven't come up with one. My current group is very bright (mostly) and if anything I screw up far more often than they do as a group.
1E, fairly high-level (around 12th). The party is fighting a dragon in a huge room with large pillars. My wizard is intentionally hiding behind one the pillars to avoid the dragon's breath weapon. I got distracted and when the GM called on me for my action, I had the wizard fly out from hiding and stop 5' from the dragon (for some reason I thought the dragon had flown off).
There's a reason raise dead spells are in the game.
There's a reason raise dead spells are in the game.
Altamont Ravenard
Explorer
The only stupid player story I have heard of is when a player argued with the DM for over an hour over the fact that the DM didn't let him start a fire with Shocking grasp.
AR
AR
GuardianLurker
Adventurer
"Ah...it was a stupid conversation anyway."
First, from my side of the fence:
It's my first 3e game, and I'm playing a brash young Wizard/Thief. The campaign premise is that there's an "Adventurer's Guild" who hires out mercenaries to help people take care of those troublesome things like zombie plagues and such.
It's our first game, and we've just arrived in the local town because the nearby abandoned church has suddenly gotten much spookier. We walk in the Inn's front doors, and I blurt out "Hi! We're from the Bravo Adventuring Company! Did somebody order a bunch of heroes?" Much amusment was had by all.
Second, from the GM's side of the fence:
My players (a bard, 2 fighters, and a cleric) are traveling along the road on their way to the next big adventure site. The stop in a small village. The villagers recognizing them as adventurer-types asks them to help with this small problem they've been having - a Behir.
The party's average level is 4.5, and they're surprising effective, all being old time game veterans. So a Behir should be doable. The party rightly realizes that they don't have to kill the nuetral behir, just get it out of the area. Their greed kicks in when they realize it'd make a great guard animal for some rich guy. So they plan on trying to talk it into becoming a pet.
I explain that behirs are rather dumb - you can talk to it, but it isn't going to understand complex thoughts, or even much beyond satisfying its basic animal drives. The party quickly finds the behir in a little dell, and send the bard in as the diplomat.
The bard loses the behir conversationally a couple of times, and I gently remind him - the behir is stupid. But progress is being made. The bard begins his final argument - if the behir doesn't leave, the villagers will kill it, or at least have the party kill the behir. In this process, the bard, standing right next to this behir utters the fatal phrase: "They sent us to kill you."
Even as the words left his mouth, he realized how dumb that had been. 2 rounds later, the bard has acquired the "tasty" flaw and is inside the behire stomach.
Even now, almost 10 levels later, all I have to do is but a "Behir" minature down (which I use for any large snake-like monster) and the party, sight unseen, leaves it alone. They'll fight demons, devils, dragons, and even evil archmages, but a behir they leave alone.
First, from my side of the fence:
It's my first 3e game, and I'm playing a brash young Wizard/Thief. The campaign premise is that there's an "Adventurer's Guild" who hires out mercenaries to help people take care of those troublesome things like zombie plagues and such.
It's our first game, and we've just arrived in the local town because the nearby abandoned church has suddenly gotten much spookier. We walk in the Inn's front doors, and I blurt out "Hi! We're from the Bravo Adventuring Company! Did somebody order a bunch of heroes?" Much amusment was had by all.
Second, from the GM's side of the fence:
My players (a bard, 2 fighters, and a cleric) are traveling along the road on their way to the next big adventure site. The stop in a small village. The villagers recognizing them as adventurer-types asks them to help with this small problem they've been having - a Behir.
The party's average level is 4.5, and they're surprising effective, all being old time game veterans. So a Behir should be doable. The party rightly realizes that they don't have to kill the nuetral behir, just get it out of the area. Their greed kicks in when they realize it'd make a great guard animal for some rich guy. So they plan on trying to talk it into becoming a pet.
I explain that behirs are rather dumb - you can talk to it, but it isn't going to understand complex thoughts, or even much beyond satisfying its basic animal drives. The party quickly finds the behir in a little dell, and send the bard in as the diplomat.
The bard loses the behir conversationally a couple of times, and I gently remind him - the behir is stupid. But progress is being made. The bard begins his final argument - if the behir doesn't leave, the villagers will kill it, or at least have the party kill the behir. In this process, the bard, standing right next to this behir utters the fatal phrase: "They sent us to kill you."
Even as the words left his mouth, he realized how dumb that had been. 2 rounds later, the bard has acquired the "tasty" flaw and is inside the behire stomach.
Even now, almost 10 levels later, all I have to do is but a "Behir" minature down (which I use for any large snake-like monster) and the party, sight unseen, leaves it alone. They'll fight demons, devils, dragons, and even evil archmages, but a behir they leave alone.
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