Stupidest Things DMs Have Done

NewJeffCT said:
But, to judge their reactions, before he announced what surprised them, the DM took his own real life pet tarantula and tossed it in the middle of the table in front of everybody.

Assuming that I wouldn't have had a cardiac arrest, I would probably have jumped up and started running. Later, when I had stopped running, I would have returned to the guy and beaten him to death.

He would have to pay for my gaming materials, as I would never touch them again.
 

log in or register to remove this ad

1. I played with a DM once who wanted to run an Epic level game, but felt that at those levels, actually bothering to stat out multiple enemy NPCs to fight us took too much effort.

So most fights ended up involving one huge monster, or several smaller identical ones, that we'd be expected to pound on until they died. One, in particular, was awful... It was some huge undead worm-thing that took... I forget, somewhere between 500 and 1000 hp of damage to kill - at which point it split into two smaller ones, that each had 1/2 the hp of the big one. Oh, and the SR and saves on this thing were so high, magic was effectively useless.

I think once it had split into eight pieces, they finally died when brought to 0hp instead of splitting further, but by that point, we'd spent like 2-3 hours real-time involved in the most boring RPG combat I ever participated in.

2a. A DM I played with for much too long (actually the 2nd 3E game I played in, so for a while, I didn't know better) was too lazy to design decent encounters that'd challenge the players in intelligent ways, so instead, he simply jacked everything up: He gave everything max hitpoints, geared up almost every enemy we fought to be a melee tank, (aside from the occasional arcane caster with sky-high spell DCs and no tactics), and cheated/made arbitrary rulings to stop us from using high-end magic to turn the combats into something other than a slugfest.

2b. Same guy decided to throw a CR16 Nightwalker (max HP, naturally) at a 11th level party with either 1 or 2 +3 weapons. (this was 3E, not 3.5, so it used the old-style DR)

When I had a wizard I was running break out the Antimagic Field (it had a ton of Supernatural abilities - including its DR - that'd get cancelled out by that, and we didn't really have a lot of magic items, so it'd not hurt us too badly), he decided by DM fiat it didn't work that way, even when I showed him the text in the MM that spelled out how Supernatural abilities were affected by antimagic - and went on to break a +3 sword and kill one of the PCs using the thing's death gaze, before realizing that we were completely outmatched, and starting to play it like a big dumb combat brute insetad of using its remaining magical abilities.

2c. Same guy, last story. My main character in that game was an elven rogue. (I ran the wizard I mentioned above as an NPC in one session) He had a natural Dex of 20 (overall stats Str 15, Dex 20, Con 13, Int 16, Wis 13 Cha 8 - excellent but hardly anything game-breaking, especially since this was early 3E and he was staright out of the PHB) and ended up with a Gloves of Dex +2 along the way. (this was at, I dunno, 6th or 8th level - totally appropriate gear)

The DM - who as I said, tended to run nearly everything as a simplistic slugfest - couldn't deal with a well-played rogue character, and he started blaming his failure to challenge on how "broken" the character was, and how "broken" it was for him to have the gloves.
So opponents with arbitrarily high listen and spot (to make sure I wouldn't be able to sneak up on them) started to crop up, while I would sometimes fail to hear enemies clad in full plate well in advance, and every BBEG we encountered after a while was immune to critical hits and sneak attack.

Things didn't get completely absurd, though, until his obsession with the gloves reached a point where he started to actively try to destroy them. He began by house-ruling the Fireball spell so that it'd require your items to save every time you were hit by it, and not just when you rolled a 1 on your Reflex save.
He then cooked up an enemy spellcaster with fireball at a DC of 25 or so, and had him cast it at the entire party through a tiny opening as we were exploring an enemy-held building, and ruled that we didn't even get to roll spot or listen to notice the ambush.

Anyone else see the flaw in nuking the whole party to get a rogue with a Reflex-based spell? My character was the only one to make the save - I ended up getting something in the low 30s, so he could not claim I failed it without making it blatant he wasn't even trying to play fair - and everyone else in the part ended up losing magical items to the fire, while the party Wizard came within a few HP of dying outright.

But it didn't end there... A few sessions later, after he apparently dropped the whole nonsensical idea he actually allowed my character acquire (along with a bunch of other gear for the party) a pair of Gloves of Dex +4 - that turned out to be Gloves of Fumbling.

Problem was, he'd freakin' forget about it in non-essential situations, so the fumbling effect was so intermittent, we were unable to figure out what was causing it for something like a couple of months of real-time. It came to a head when he remembered about it in the middle of a key fight, on-IIRC - another damn plane, with absolutely no way to get them off, and I just blew up at the idea that over weeks of game-time my fastidiously neat and clean character hadn't noticed, until now, that he wasn't able to take his gauntlets off.

His defense was that he didn't imagine I could think he could possibly have given me a benign item, after all the trouble he went to with the +2 gloves... My response was that I guessed I shouldn't have given him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he'd simply realized what he was doing wrong and decided to stop being a complete $&%@#.

Needless to say, the game eventually fell apart...
 

My DM decided to give me a +5 keen Bastard Sword that splits into two smaller sword that deal same damage and have a dispel 10 lvl caster, and ranged force attack thing. But what makes him pretty dumb would be that when they are together it cast Distentigrate 20lvl caster 3/day. Some of you might say thats not that bad...except when you get no save for it which is its final power....needless to say I tend to be leveling my opponents so much better now...
 


I had a moment as DM that wasn't too bad. This occured just a few days ago. Not really the fault of bad DMing, but it was amusing

Players: Alright, so lets go. Time to get back to Kenshah (town nearby) with the loot
ME: Wait, aren't you going to defeat the wizard you heard about?
Players: He's not here.
ME: (stunned) What do you mean he's not here!? I made the place, damnit, and he's HERE!
Players: But we've explored everywhere on the dungeon. The map (I draw the map on the megamat as they enter each room) shows that we're done.

Sure enough, I had FORGOTTEN to connect the wizards chambers to the rest of the dungeon. Ten feet of solid stone separated them, and this was at 3rd lvl, with no passing through stone abilities. OOPS.

Ooh, and the players got their 20 DEX rogue some Boots of Elvenkind (or as we call them, "The Elven-iest boots ever!") as some random treasure, making it IMPOSSIBLE for the sleeping garrison (the only still-living members of the dungeon) to hear them, even on a 1. Darn those elven-iest boots ever and their +10 to move silently!
 

NewJeffCT said:
But, to judge their reactions, before he announced what surprised them, the DM took his own real life pet tarantula and tossed it in the middle of the table in front of everybody. Of course, with that kind of surprise, the players were startled and (if I recall) a few ducked for cover, if not all of them. The DM stated that their real-life reactions were how their players reacted.

First - people play D&D to escape real life. Even if your PC has shades of your own personality (which is often the case) you're probably not casting spells, invoking the blessings of Pelor, swinging a vorpal weapon or whatnot in real life. Judging an out of game reaction to count in-game is just wrong, especially in a critical situation like that.

2nd - what if the DM's toss was just a bit off and it landed in a player's lap or on their shoulder?

3rd - what if somebody's reaction was to squash the thing with their Player's Handbook?
I would have done option 3. I wonder how 'funny' he'd think it when his spider paid the price for his trick. I hate spiders and my first reaction is to grab something and squish the offending bug.
 

I once played at a convention in a ravenloft game. The DM had the players pick the players from the AD&D Rogue's Gallery. We all had high level (around 12-13) characters and were traveling through the realm with the Lich Lord. It was some module he was running but we were sure that what came next was not written by the good people of TSR.

First, we all were captured by a headless horseman and knocked out. Then when we came too, our heads were separated from our bodies and the base of each characters neck was sitting in a bowl of magic jelly to keep us alive. Our bodies were slumped against the wall on the other side of the room.

Then an imp creature came in to heckle us and when my brother played along and razzed the creature back, it pee-peed on his head.

We somehow got reattached to our bodies and started a Lich hunt throughout the castle. As soon we found the Lich AND his phylactery(sp?) characters started dying. The DM was casually flipping through the Player's Handbook picking spells to kill us with.

I had a dwarven fighter and was the last one standing. I had already tried hacking him and wasn't able to affect him. So when my time to act came up again and all my friends were dead, I decided to rip off the Lich's head. I mean, my strength was awesome (for 2nd editon at least) and he was, as described by the DM, a skeleton.

Well, the DM got pissed because over the next few rounds, I wrestled the Lich to the ground and made every save I had too (Yes the thing was casting with me twisting its head off!) to stay alive. Finally, the DM slammed his Player's Handbook shut and motioned to the table triumphantly, "Forcecage! No save. Permanent too. You slowly starve to death within sight of the phylactery."
 

Darklone said:
Yeah, I did that "All hobgoblins shoot at one player" too. Granted, they were standing in a line with a seargant next to them giving orders... yet, it was a bit too much

Um, why? This is a sensible tactic that any half-decent soldiers would have trained for; and IMC hobgoblins are more than half-decent soldiers. Four characters at three-quarters hit points is a darn sight more dangerous than three characters at full hit points and one dead character, and your enemies know it. This sort of tactic is usually initiated with the command "take down the one not wearing armour, now!". This, IMHO, isn't bad DM'ing, it's DM'ing the combatants appropriately. Now orcs, on the other hand...

Cheers, Al'Kelhar
 

So, our party is in the under dark trying got do something or other (I forget).

Anyhoo, we realize we have to deal with an enclave of giants.

We scout out he front and decide it might be best to bypass the the two hills giants in full plate guarding the front (heck, they had ballistas).

So we find the back entrance and move in, expecting a bit of resistance, but not as much as the front, we were a bit surprised to find the SEVEN WAR TROLLS jumping from ambush (apparently these seven war trolls just hung out back there waiting for just such an eventuality).

We defeat the war trolls, barely and largely due to an amulet of "Wail of the Banshee" being put to very good (read lucky) use.

Just as we are regrouping after the battle, the DEATH GIANT then comes at us with a few henchmen (including the hill giants from the front actually).

We did however manage to flee...
 

Kelek72 said:
I once played at a convention in a ravenloft game. The DM had the players pick the players from the AD&D Rogue's Gallery. We all had high level (around 12-13) characters and were traveling through the realm with the Lich Lord. It was some module he was running but we were sure that what came next was not written by the good people of TSR.

First, we all were captured by a headless horseman and knocked out. Then when we came too, our heads were separated from our bodies and the base of each characters neck was sitting in a bowl of magic jelly to keep us alive. Our bodies were slumped against the wall on the other side of the room.

Then an imp creature came in to heckle us and when my brother played along and razzed the creature back, it pee-peed on his head.

We somehow got reattached to our bodies and started a Lich hunt throughout the castle.

Yes, this is a real TSR 2E Ravenloft adventure, whose name (fortunately) escapes me. I think it's one of the "Grand Conjunction" series, which are amongst the worst adventures it has been my misfortune to read. Basically, your characters get beheaded by an uber-Grim Reaper dude (irrespective of what your characters do), and your heads and bodies end up transported to Ravenloft, so that you can kill a lich (Azalin) in order to prevent it creating the "Grand Conjunction" between the Demiplane of Dread (i.e. Ravenloft) and the [Prime] Material Plane. IIRC, the adventure did have an isometric map of Azalin's castle, which does have some merit.

The other stuff you describe - well, bad DMs are just compounded by bad plots that aren't even theirs.

Cheers, Al'Kelhar
 

Remove ads

Top