Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

At the begining of a campain. One player had came a good hour or two early to help with something, and I decided he could do a bit of solo stuff before the others arrived. His rogue character was suposed to be the one greeting the other PCs to the city, and was going to act as a kind of guide for his buddys who hadn't been here before.

He for some reason decided he wanted to see the mayor at his keep. The old woman at the desk would have none of it and after he pushed his luck she called the guards. To my surprise he ran Into the keep and this crazy chase followed. I had the hard job of figureing out how to run it, which involved deciding what was behind each door as he came too each room. He stole the cutlery, freed a prisoner for no reason, bribed a cleaner, stole a painting, disguised him self in a nobles clothes, started a rumour that he was somewhere else with a hostage, claimed he was a duke to another guard (in a country where the monarchy had been removed 300 years earlier), got onto the battlements, absaled part way down the outer wall, and shouted something at the mayor through his window. The guards came to the top of the wall where his rope was tied and demanded he came up imediately (which would follow with an arrest). Not wanting to be caught he jumped uncontroled down to the river (the keep being on a little island in the river), took 9 points of nonleathal damage as he smacked hard onto the water and drowned unconcious. :\

:D In what little 'plan' he had made about his vist, this was not part of it.

I then had the other players wandering around the city wondering whatever had happened to Davos.
 
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Trying to get into a dwarven city, the bard opted for what I can only describe as the "direct" approach. He went up to the guard on the gate and said, "Ho, Master dwarf. What a very fine beard you have there."
The dwarf gave him a look that doesn't translate into words. They did eventually get inside, but the opening gaffe meant he'd lost them before he started to negotiate for what he wanted.
This is a bard, mind you, with a +20 on his Diplomacy check.
 

STARP_Social_Officer said:
Trying to get into a dwarven city, the bard opted for what I can only describe as the "direct" approach. He went up to the guard on the gate and said, "Ho, Master dwarf. What a very fine beard you have there."
The dwarf gave him a look that doesn't translate into words. They did eventually get inside, but the opening gaffe meant he'd lost them before he started to negotiate for what he wanted.
This is a bard, mind you, with a +20 on his Diplomacy check.
Ok, I don't get it. Dwarves are supposed to be proud of their beards, so why is an opening gambit of complimenting the guard a negative? And if he's got a +20 why did he say anything? Just roll. (There, that ought to get a good Roll vs. Role flamewar going!)
 

Ed_Laprade said:
Ok, I don't get it. Dwarves are supposed to be proud of their beards, so why is an opening gambit of complimenting the guard a negative? And if he's got a +20 why did he say anything? Just roll. (There, that ought to get a good Roll vs. Role flamewar going!)

I'm a little confused by that too. I wouldn't have thought that the comment was such a big gaffe. And if it was a bad thing to say and the PC had a +20 on his roll I would have had the dwarf still respond favourably but tell him to watch what he says next time as it may get him in trouble with others.

Olaf the Stout
 


EDIT: Lt. Jack Frost was being smuggled in a cargo plane to an unknown destination. Mid-flight, he decided to check his altitude so he opened the cargo bay doors to look out. Needless to say, he went *splat*.

The cargo plane lost altitude due to the open cargo bay. Several PCs (Valkyrie Pilots) attempted to stablize the plane. One clipped his wings trying to fly inside the cargo area to close it from inside, another got hit by the overhang. Both failed their crashing rolls.
 
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Running to a militia-controlled city for necessities, Luvas ticked off the border patrol for refusing to explain her business. A bard later penned an epic ballad of her death (very popular in my campaign world) -- "She was shot and shot and shot and shot and shot once or twice more, then the bayonettes, they flew, and then she was shot some more."
 



Epic Level Ghost: Each of you may take 1 artifact, but you may never tell anyone where you got them. It must remain a secret. The effects of telling anyone where you retrieved these will be more dire than you can handle.

The PC's redline back to their base of operations and report to there commanding officer. It literally takes maybe 1 minute from that line to this one:

Leader: Gods! You were gone for so long we feared the worst? What happened?
PC #2: We got these! I think they're really powerful *Holds up weapons*

I honestly almost cried.
 

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