Wonko the Sane
First Post
#1: (2e) PC party is chasing a wounded lich through his stronghold. The party pours into a room with one other corridor leading off. Said corridor is blocked by a shimmering purple field. This was the exchange between players (PC 1 - NE elf wizard - everyone knows she's evil; PC 2 - NG elf ranger - everyone knows he's stupid)
PC 1: Hey ranger - why don't you step through that purple stuff to see if it's safe for us to walk through?
PC 2: Okay. (Steps through purple field)
DM: Roll a save vs. Death.
PC 2: 1.
DM: The ranger screams and turns to dust.
PC 1: Fine. I cast passwall beside the purple field and we walk around it.
#2: (2e) PC party is exploring an old ruined dwarven stronghold. They enter a 40' diameter circular room that is almost entirely filled with a cone-shaped mound of fine, silvery white powder. Everyone in the party (except one) agrees that they should just leave it alone. The dissenting PC walks up to the mound and pokes it with Whelm (yes, that Whelm). *POOF* a cloud of the powder wafts from the point he poked it and envelops him. A few dozen item saves later, his best magical gear (including Whelm) has been rendered permanently non-magical. A forgivable mistake - after all, he couldn't have known what it would do.
The other dwarf PC kits out the unfortunate former-wielder-of-Whelm in some spare gear. Feeling lucky, he rushes back into the room and dives into the pile of powder this time.
Needless to say, he spent the rest of his life (all two hours of it) with non-magical gear.
#3: (2e) PC party is being accosted by a large (20+) group of trolls. The party bard (with the kit that lets him show off with his weapon to intimidate enemies - not kill, just intimidate) convinces the wizard to fly him above the trolls, and then drop him in the middle of them so he can chop them up.
It rained bard for a good long while.
#4: (3e) ~15th-level/6 member PC party has to go to Skullport and hook up with the Xanathar thieves' guild to get some info.
#4a: The party walks through the portal to Skullport and ends up in a ramshackle hut, with the only door out guarded by a hill giant and his pet hellhound. The hill giant demands 100 gp per head to leave to Skullport proper. Rather than pay the easily affordable toll, the party elects to slaughter him and his little dog too.
When the skulls showed up to investigate the death of one of their guards, the PCs resist. A (overly?) nice DM was the key to surviving this pickle.
#4b: After paying the fine for killing the hill giant (~10,000 gp), the party goes to the tavern where their contact was supposedly waiting. The rogue says "Let me handle this - I know how to talk to them."
The rogue confidently walks in, idles up to the bar, and in a normal speaking voice asks the bartender "Do you know how I could get in touch with the Xanathar thieves' guild?"
The bartender just looks at him and snorts derisively.
The rogue leaves the bar dejectedly.
The paladin decides to handle things his way. He walks into the bar, party in tow, and threatens the barkeep at flaming greatsword point into revealing who is Xanathar's contact in the tavern. With shaking fingers, the barkeep points out a rat-faced gent sitting in the corner. Dudley Do-Right grabs the poor thief and drags him outside, threatening death if anyone tells what they have seen.
Outside, the paladin tells the thief "We're here for some information...give it to us!"
Needless to say, the thief provided inaccurate intel.
#4c: With most of their Skullport contacts dead/intimidated into uselessness, the party has one last avenue to gain the information they seek - a medusa who runs a statuary in Skullport.
The two barbarians decide that this time, they'll run the show. As the 'roid freaks kick in the front door of her store, the medusa runs through a door at the back and closes it behind her. The lead barbarian kicks that door in (natural 20) and it clobbers her (she was right behind it). The wizard, under the effects of iron body grabs the unfortunate medusa, with nothing but her head poking out from his massive iron fist.
Just when they could have interrogated her peacably, the axe-wielding barbarian decides that he'd better subdue her. "Flat of the blade," he exclaims, "so I'm just doing non-lethal damage. Oh...and full Power Attack, since she'll be easy to hit." One critical hit from a raging barbarian wielding an axe later (~150 hp of "non-lethal" damage), and the wizard is holding the limp form of a medusa with a flattened head.
Party returns to Waterdeep, no smarter than when they had left.
#5: (From D&D tournament last year) One encounter had the party land their ship on a desert island. In the middle of the island was a small freshwater lake. On a small rock in the center was a silver lamp, covered in dew. Rubbing the lamp frees the marid (water genie) within. His tale of woe (on a handout) ostensibly tells the PCs to use the wish granted by the marid to free him (if you've seen Aladdin you know what to do here). No less than five of the PC teams wished for something else, and had to fight him, whereupon he goes back into the lamp after being defeated. Two teams fought him twice, turning what should have been a 5-10 minute encounter into a 2-hour bloodbath. When one team tried to fight him a third time, it was time to drop some hints for them.
#6: (From D&D tournament this year) In exploring the ruined tower of a supposedly long-dead lich, the PC party discovers a room with a stone pedestal in the center. Upon the pedestal lies a very well-preserved, and very pretty, human woman. Her face has the pallor of death, but she hasn't decomposed at all. On the side of the pedestal is an inscription that informs the PCs that to wake her, someone must kiss her. The funny thing here is that two of the PCs actually get into an argument over who gets to kiss her. That being settled, the victor collects his spoils and lays a big ol' kiss on her lips...
...which wakes up the vampire monk from her sleep. Did you know vampire monks are really tough?
#7: (3e) PC party is trying to get through a drow base in the underdark. The first guardian they encounter is a gargantuan spider who makes his home in a chasm lined with webs. Only a few PCs could fly and therefore safely fight the spider from somewhere besides the narrow ledge they were walking on, and they were not doing well. The PC ranger decides that he's going to jump from the ledge onto the spider's back. He missed. One 500-foot fall later and the drow had a new body to make a zombie out of.
#8: (3e) The PC party is trying to figure out a way past a forbiddance spell cast around a castle that they want to enter. Not only is this barrier in place, but the castle is surrounded by an army of fire giants (and worse) that also wants in. The cleric, upon reading the description for find the path learns the forbiddance password and tells it to the rest of the party. The PCs charge through the giants' lines and each whispers the password as they cross through the forbiddance. The last PC to cross (the rogue) decided to holler the password loud enough for the giants to hear it.
It created a lot of extra drama, having an army of giants chasing the PCs through the castle filled with drow/undead/demons. If not for small doors, they would not have survived.
That's all I've got for now...I'm sure I'll remember more later.
WtS
PC 1: Hey ranger - why don't you step through that purple stuff to see if it's safe for us to walk through?
PC 2: Okay. (Steps through purple field)
DM: Roll a save vs. Death.
PC 2: 1.
DM: The ranger screams and turns to dust.
PC 1: Fine. I cast passwall beside the purple field and we walk around it.
#2: (2e) PC party is exploring an old ruined dwarven stronghold. They enter a 40' diameter circular room that is almost entirely filled with a cone-shaped mound of fine, silvery white powder. Everyone in the party (except one) agrees that they should just leave it alone. The dissenting PC walks up to the mound and pokes it with Whelm (yes, that Whelm). *POOF* a cloud of the powder wafts from the point he poked it and envelops him. A few dozen item saves later, his best magical gear (including Whelm) has been rendered permanently non-magical. A forgivable mistake - after all, he couldn't have known what it would do.
The other dwarf PC kits out the unfortunate former-wielder-of-Whelm in some spare gear. Feeling lucky, he rushes back into the room and dives into the pile of powder this time.
Needless to say, he spent the rest of his life (all two hours of it) with non-magical gear.
#3: (2e) PC party is being accosted by a large (20+) group of trolls. The party bard (with the kit that lets him show off with his weapon to intimidate enemies - not kill, just intimidate) convinces the wizard to fly him above the trolls, and then drop him in the middle of them so he can chop them up.
It rained bard for a good long while.
#4: (3e) ~15th-level/6 member PC party has to go to Skullport and hook up with the Xanathar thieves' guild to get some info.
#4a: The party walks through the portal to Skullport and ends up in a ramshackle hut, with the only door out guarded by a hill giant and his pet hellhound. The hill giant demands 100 gp per head to leave to Skullport proper. Rather than pay the easily affordable toll, the party elects to slaughter him and his little dog too.
When the skulls showed up to investigate the death of one of their guards, the PCs resist. A (overly?) nice DM was the key to surviving this pickle.
#4b: After paying the fine for killing the hill giant (~10,000 gp), the party goes to the tavern where their contact was supposedly waiting. The rogue says "Let me handle this - I know how to talk to them."
The rogue confidently walks in, idles up to the bar, and in a normal speaking voice asks the bartender "Do you know how I could get in touch with the Xanathar thieves' guild?"
The bartender just looks at him and snorts derisively.
The rogue leaves the bar dejectedly.
The paladin decides to handle things his way. He walks into the bar, party in tow, and threatens the barkeep at flaming greatsword point into revealing who is Xanathar's contact in the tavern. With shaking fingers, the barkeep points out a rat-faced gent sitting in the corner. Dudley Do-Right grabs the poor thief and drags him outside, threatening death if anyone tells what they have seen.
Outside, the paladin tells the thief "We're here for some information...give it to us!"
Needless to say, the thief provided inaccurate intel.
#4c: With most of their Skullport contacts dead/intimidated into uselessness, the party has one last avenue to gain the information they seek - a medusa who runs a statuary in Skullport.
The two barbarians decide that this time, they'll run the show. As the 'roid freaks kick in the front door of her store, the medusa runs through a door at the back and closes it behind her. The lead barbarian kicks that door in (natural 20) and it clobbers her (she was right behind it). The wizard, under the effects of iron body grabs the unfortunate medusa, with nothing but her head poking out from his massive iron fist.
Just when they could have interrogated her peacably, the axe-wielding barbarian decides that he'd better subdue her. "Flat of the blade," he exclaims, "so I'm just doing non-lethal damage. Oh...and full Power Attack, since she'll be easy to hit." One critical hit from a raging barbarian wielding an axe later (~150 hp of "non-lethal" damage), and the wizard is holding the limp form of a medusa with a flattened head.
Party returns to Waterdeep, no smarter than when they had left.
#5: (From D&D tournament last year) One encounter had the party land their ship on a desert island. In the middle of the island was a small freshwater lake. On a small rock in the center was a silver lamp, covered in dew. Rubbing the lamp frees the marid (water genie) within. His tale of woe (on a handout) ostensibly tells the PCs to use the wish granted by the marid to free him (if you've seen Aladdin you know what to do here). No less than five of the PC teams wished for something else, and had to fight him, whereupon he goes back into the lamp after being defeated. Two teams fought him twice, turning what should have been a 5-10 minute encounter into a 2-hour bloodbath. When one team tried to fight him a third time, it was time to drop some hints for them.
#6: (From D&D tournament this year) In exploring the ruined tower of a supposedly long-dead lich, the PC party discovers a room with a stone pedestal in the center. Upon the pedestal lies a very well-preserved, and very pretty, human woman. Her face has the pallor of death, but she hasn't decomposed at all. On the side of the pedestal is an inscription that informs the PCs that to wake her, someone must kiss her. The funny thing here is that two of the PCs actually get into an argument over who gets to kiss her. That being settled, the victor collects his spoils and lays a big ol' kiss on her lips...
...which wakes up the vampire monk from her sleep. Did you know vampire monks are really tough?
#7: (3e) PC party is trying to get through a drow base in the underdark. The first guardian they encounter is a gargantuan spider who makes his home in a chasm lined with webs. Only a few PCs could fly and therefore safely fight the spider from somewhere besides the narrow ledge they were walking on, and they were not doing well. The PC ranger decides that he's going to jump from the ledge onto the spider's back. He missed. One 500-foot fall later and the drow had a new body to make a zombie out of.
#8: (3e) The PC party is trying to figure out a way past a forbiddance spell cast around a castle that they want to enter. Not only is this barrier in place, but the castle is surrounded by an army of fire giants (and worse) that also wants in. The cleric, upon reading the description for find the path learns the forbiddance password and tells it to the rest of the party. The PCs charge through the giants' lines and each whispers the password as they cross through the forbiddance. The last PC to cross (the rogue) decided to holler the password loud enough for the giants to hear it.
It created a lot of extra drama, having an army of giants chasing the PCs through the castle filled with drow/undead/demons. If not for small doors, they would not have survived.
That's all I've got for now...I'm sure I'll remember more later.
WtS
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