Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Dannyalcatraz]

Ouch.

Just...ouch.

 

[Andor]

Player: All four fighters force the door!
DM: Ok. The door was unlocked and behind it are stairs going down.

... in my defense I was 12.

 

[Lalalei2001]

^ That's cute. ^_^

 

[Lalalei2001]

The PC's were captured and thrown in a jail cell in an orc encampment.

They were guarded by one orc. The group's bard had the great idea of attempting to sing to the guard, in order to fascinate, and then suggest it to unlock the prison door, turn around, and plug it's ears so that it wouldn't hear them escaping.

Now, it didn't seem like any of the group realized the problem with this immediately, and admittingly, it took me a few seconds...

The bard was singing to the orc to keep him fascinated/suggested. He told the orc to plug his ears.

Needless to say, as soon as the orc plugged his ears, the bard song wore off. The orc turned around and a gave the PCs an odd look, and then bolted out of the prison room and called for backup.

We couldn't stop laughing for some time.

 

[Holy Bovine]

Worse session I have ever been in is the 2nd session of a new game. This first was pretty standard 'protect the caravan' stuff fought some goblins and got a little bit of treasure. Including a +1 glaive that my character (a monk? a fighter? I can't really remember now) could actually use (all the other fighter types were sword & board). It was the only magic item in the party (were started at 2nd level and were almost to 3rd by the end of the 1st session) so I figured it was way better to have and use than to sell for gold. One other player disagreed but the party decided to keep it. Later that night (same session) we were staying at an inn. Apparently because I didn't specifically say I was locking the door of my private suite it wasn't locked and the PC who wanted to sell the glaive snuck in (he was a cleric) murdered my PC and took the glaive. What made it the worse session though was how the DM informed me of what had happened. After a lot of whispers and passing of notes he calls me up to the front of the table with my character sheet. He asks to check something on the sheet - I hand it to him and he rips it in half and says - 'you're dead!'. Stunned I walked back to me seat, gather my things and never spoke to him again. He left town at the end of the school year after skipping out on rent - yeah he was my housemate at the time.

Ta-Dah!

 

[Holy Bovine]

Semantics.

But then again I've never been one of those DMs who figure that when someone uses a Wish they must focus on the minutiae of his wording and screw him by hook or crook. When someone's using a 9th lvl spell, and in this case one in a very valuable item, I'm damned if I'd screw him because the player's wording wasn't the most precise. And none of my DMs would either, which is why I game with them.

This reminds me of a DM who, when we used the only wish scroll we had ever found or were ever likely to find, was told by a player as the PCs were being attacked by a gorgon "I wish we were all safe and sound!" immediately had the whole party 'stoned' by the gorgon's breath - no save. We were 'safe' now weren't we?

 

[Fifth Element]

This reminds me of a DM who, when we used the only wish scroll we had ever found or were ever likely to find, was told by a player as the PCs were being attacked by a gorgon "I wish we were all safe and sound!" immediately had the whole party 'stoned' by the gorgon's breath - no save. We were 'safe' now weren't we?

You DM had a strange idea of what "sound" means, I guess.

 

[redboxrazor]

In a GURPS 'Zombie' game I was running, one of the characters naturally assumed all of the doors in an antique shop were locked. He charged through one of the doors and fell down 3 flights of stairs. Bloody and crippled at the bottom, he was a quick kill for another PC at the bottom who mistook him for a zombie in the dark. The door was unlocked...

 

[LostSoul]

Years back, 1998 or so, I'm playing 2E with skills and powers turned on. I have a cheesed out elven F/M/T, my brother is playing my PC's cousin, a half-elf F/M with gauntlets of ogre power and an elf henchman named Sudimir, who is also a F/M.

We end up in a dungeon with a crazy trap room - a slippery narrow beam with scything blades chopping across it and spikes (and acid?) in a pit below.

Since my PC is cheesed out, I can only fail crossing the beam on a 1 on 1d20. I laugh at the difficulty. What do I roll? A 1. (Awesome.)

Anyway, most of us get across but Sudimir, with 7 Dex or something like that fails, falls, starts dying. I have a crown that gives me a limited wish so I use it to teleport Sudimir up next to us in safety.

We heal up Sudimir and do some RP, me complaining about having to waste a limited wish to save such a loser. As we prepare to head on, I ask my brother, "What spells does Sudimir have memorized?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Sleep, Charm Person, Magic Missile... Spider Climb..."

I still think that was awesome.

 

[Herschel]

Ex-fiance playing a paladin back in 2E. The party infiltrated the temple of the evil high priest. After the encounter they see a large, black, evil-looking (and emanating!) leather-bound book chained to the podium. She decides to peruse it. *BOOM GOES THE INEFFIBLE DAMNINITE!*.

I'm not under the impression she has forgiven me yet.