Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[DungeonmasterCal]

Oh...where do I start?

Killing a gnoll guard and skinning it to make a disguise in order to sneak into the gnoll chieftan's tent and kill him. Did not work.

Jumping into a Sphere of Annihilation to save a comrade (not knowing what it was. That one was me).

In a last ditch effort to unlock the secrets of a huge stone sarcophagus, player snuffs the only light source to "see what would happen". (Again, me).

Player crawls into a tiny hole at the base of a wall because his torch revealed twinkling, glittering "gem like" points of light. Player is eaten alive by rats as the block slides back in place and trapping him after he worms his way in.

An ostensibly good priest makes a concoction to ease the suffering of a lizardman being held prisoner and being interrogated by fellow, somewhat less than good PC's. The player had no ranks in alchemy or brewing or cooking or ANYTHING useful for this, and the lizardman died of poisoning. This still comes up, with the player's cleric being referred to as The Sinister Minister and the Deacon of D-Con.

Oh...it could go on all day...

 

[PatrickLawinger]

Hmmm, okay, the funniest gaming session I have ever had (okay, there are a few others but this is the most recent) was about 2 years ago. The full description would take a lot of space, let's just say "mage on a rope" still brings laughter from that group.

Long story as short as possible; the party comes upon goblins excavating an ancient temple deep in a cliff-enclosed "ravine" for lack of a better term. Now, they wisely try to avoid a frontal assault on the only easy way down.

The beginning of the plan starts with the player of the Wizard PC, "Okay, we lower the wizard about half way down on a rope..." Basically, he was trying to get within sleep spell distance of some goblin guards. Mind you, this is coming from experienced, skilled players. The plan got better and, of course, everything hit the fan pretty fast.

First the PCs lower down the rogue (who actually makes it down 150 ft. without getting spotted). THEN, they pull back up the rope (they didn't have enough to lower down the mage.

Step 1; Strand the rogue, alone, in a deep cliff-enclosed area with a minimum of 15 goblins that you have counted, probably more.

Step 2: suspend the wizard on a rope about 50 ft above two goblin guards to cast a sleep spell. Spell is only half successful. wizard is spotted alarm goes up.

Step 3: Goblins start spotting everyone above on the cliffs and start firing arrows while others charge out of the ravine to attack them on the cliff. meanwhile the big tough types are holding onto the rope (remember the wizard).

Step 4: Rogue get's spotted, runs into the area the goblins were guarding against, discovers why, charges back through and dives into a pool of water intending to stay under for protection (it works, I don't think I hit him a single time...)

Step 2.5 or so: cleric in heavy armor and with a low strength score decides to go around to the other side, he takes a short cut that involves jumping over a 7 ft. gap. rolls a 1. Makes the reflex save I pull out of the air and is left clinging to the cliff on the other side.

Step 3.5 (yeah, this was going on while the other stuff was). Second party cleric goes to help, does she go all the way around? Nope, tries to make the same jump, heavy armor, LOWER strength score, no running start... 2 clerics clinging to the cliff wall screaming for help. (oh, 0 ranks in Jump for both of them).

So yes, we have two fighter-types holding a rope, wizard is on the rope, rogue is under water beginning to think about the after-life, 2 clerics are clinging to a cliff 150 ft. above the ground screaming for help.

Worst part is, I was rolling so badly that I couldn't even kill anyone. I did get a few blows in, but really, my rolls were pathetic. I don't think the rogue ever got hit.

The brief description doesn't really do it justice. Let's just say that at one point everyone was laughing so hard that people had tears streaming down their faces and we had to take a 15 minute break just to calm down.

 

[Bloodstone Press]

1. PC is wandering through a forest in the fall. The PC is told "it hasn't rained in quite a while and the forest floor is covered with dry leaves."

2. The PC catches on fire (breathed on by a monstrous dragon fly)

3. PC Stops, Drops, and Rolls... in the leaves...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

But Ancient Red Dragons aren't Huge - they are Gargantuan!

Ah, the innocence of youth!

In 1Ed, they were Huge.

And they were Big in Japan (often stopping at Budokan)!

 

[Lalalei2001]

Here's a new one.

Player cast a water spell in a crowded elevator.

 

[Lalalei2001]

Another player had the gall to say 'HASTUR HASTUR.'

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I did that, except it may have been Asmodeus or Orcus I called.

Eh...the PC was young and dumb and full of...damnation.

 

[Evilhalfling]

CoC - cultists are about to sacrifice a cow on an alter -
We shoot the cow!

same game, we know bad stuff happens at night, we know someone was killed for helping a girl . We put the girl on a train with one of the two characters who have guns. We tell the character to get off the train at a later stop and come back before nightfall.
They actually do so.

 

[radferth]

While camping out near the evil, bad-guy's lair, the elven mage in the party decides he will read by the light of his continual light spell while the others sleep. The party is ambushed and nearly killed by enemies who had the benefit of seeing the party clearly in the light. This may not sound so bad, except that the exact same thing had happened the previous session with a different group of bad guys.

 

[sniffles]

I love this story, even though I wasn't present to witness it:
Party falls through a hole and plunges into a subterranean lake about 30 feet below. Player wants to know if his character can tie a rope to his quarterstaff and fling it back up through the hole - 30 feet, remember? - while he's floating in the water.

Story 2 (I missed this one also!!):
Our party is pursuing a forest drake to rescue a woman it kidnapped. Woman came from a different party that just killed the drake's mate. Our party's cleric/sorcerer/marshal with lots of ranks in Diplomacy tries to persuade the drake to hand over the woman, but the player kept choosing to make reference to the drake's dead mate when he spoke, so the GM ruled that this didn't make the drake any friendlier toward the speaker and it attacked us. Then this same player had his PC - low HP, low AC, low BAB - run up and cast a touch spell on the drake.

I actually witnessed this one! :
In a Champions campaign, my PC had been knocked out and captured by thugs. One thug held a gun to my head and announced, "If anyone moves, I'll shoot". Our team's Batman-wannabe (played by the same player as in example #1), when asked for his action that segment, announced that he would "take one step forward to reduce the range penalty". So the thug shot my PC in the head.