Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Savage Wombat]

We blew a direct channel to the Realm of Fear in a Deadlands game. We were trying to destroy the fear device, not just let it's stored energies loose. SteelDraco can probably explain it better.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Trying to communicate with a demon using "the universal language of mathematics".

Demiurge out.

OMG...this just made my whole morning.

 

[BroccoliRage]

if you have ever had kids join your game, they are the best for stupid moves and laughs....too much of that Dragonballz crap....

my brother, a ten year old who wanted to play because his brother was, asked to join. "well sure" says i, and teach him how to roll up a dwarven fighter. he goes on his first dungoen crawl in a short passsage way and when it comes to be his turn, he says, "i throw my axe straight up into the air!" with the conviction of one who isnt really stopping to think.

well, hes a kid, i think.

"are you sure you want to do that jon? this is a short passageway."
"yes, its awesome!"
"are you sure?"
"yes."
"alright. roll a dex check."
Fail
"jon, Sir Awesome the dwarf takes 2 pts of damage from getting hit in the face with his own axe."


3 hours, a suit of dwarven platemail and two ressurections later....

"paladdin, youve fallen out of the boat and your plate mail is weighing you down."

"Sir Awesome jumps out of the boat to save him!"

::sigh::.....

 

[Aeric]

In RttToEE, we had interpreted some text to mean that the key to proceeding to the Inner Fane was hidden in this floating black orb we found. So we convinced the less-than-wise half-orc to stick his hands in the orb and feel around for the key (or gloves, or whatever it was supposed to be...I forget). The half-orc touches the orb and disappears. The DM takes his player into the other room to tell him what happened.

Since the half-orc had been transported to another plane by a magic trap a few sessions prior to this one, I figured that must have been the case here. So I touched the orb. I disappeared, and the DM took me into the other room.

After I came back, the elf archer decided that both I and the half-orc must now be trapped in another plane, so he touches the orb. And disappears. And goes in the other room with the DM.

Turns out the black sphere was a Sphere of Annihilation, and the three of us were disintegrated. I'm still a bit bitter about that, since I was playing a Wizard with 24 Int and didn't even get a Knowledge (Arcana) or Spellcraft roll to get a hint that this might be something deadly.

 

[Vertaxis]

1/2 Orc Barabarian with an Intelligence of 6

'Nuf said.

 

[Dingleberry]

Turns out the black sphere was a Sphere of Annihilation, and the three of us were disintegrated.

The only time I've ever run into a sphere as a player was hilarious. We were running a one-off of Tomb of Horrors and I was playing Sir Godboy, a stereotypical paladin armed with a Holy Avenger. When we reached the statue (most will know what I'm talking about), Sir Godboy poked at the darkness with the sword, which disappeared. I threw a note to the DM that read "How long has Sir Godboy had this sword?" The response: "Three years." So Sir Godboy dove in after the sword.

The next note from the DM is now quoted often in my gaming group: "Sir Godboy is no more. Sorry."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Over the decades, my PCs (and others) have:

Cast a Delayed Blast Fireball (21HD, with maximum delay) on a target 200' away...rushing towards the party at 96' movement.

Jumped on a DBF thinking that the glowing stone it left behind was a magical jewel.

Grappled a Lich.

Challenged a Lord of Ravenloft for control of his section of the Demi-plane of dread...AND WON! (The other PCs didn't last long after that...)

Bowled with a Sphere of Annihilation...VERY briefly.

Let the PC who had been dominated by an artifact hold Mordenkainen's baby while someone else is trying to destroy the artifact in question...(it ended quite badly).

Called out the names of divine beings (to get aid) when confronting a puzzle: "...Odin! Thor! Hastur!..." "YESSSSSSSSSS!"

Charged a sleeping HARD at 1st level.

I'm sure I'll recall others...

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

1. Get the Dwarf Barbarian drunk till he passed out.

2. Take him to an up-scale woman's salon.

3. Fork over the 100 gold for the 'Full Body' Bikini Wax.

4. Brag about it to him the next day (That's the stupid part).

 

[Greg K]

I am sure that there are others, but these two come to mind.

1) 2e Thief was sent to sneak inside a lizardman temple and do reconaisance so that the players could develop a plan to rescue a kidnapped girl the next morning. Once inside, the thief seeks out and murders one of the guards to "instill panic" among the lizardmen and then doesn't tell the party what he did. The next day the party enters to find the security on heightened alert

2) The party enters the chamber of what appears to be, from a fresco, either the burial place of either a powerful priest or some deity. The party agrees not to disturb anything--especially the sarcophagus at the opposite side of the room . The rogue immediately throws a torch onto the sarcphagus.

 

[Mallus]

Trying to communicate with a demon using "the universal language of mathematics".

That's brilliant!

When players come up with something like that I (usually) run with it. It would have been a terrific challenge to improvise up some 'evil math' with which to carry out the conversation.