Sultans of Smack

[Jeremy]

4) I had fun making this!

Most important part! Good job.

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

Originally posted by Kraedin:

This requires a 10th level psion, of at least Medium size, with the power metamorphosis.

The 5th level psion power metamorphosis is similar to polymorph self, except that it allows the *manifester* to assume the form of objects, as well as creatures. Assuming a Medium-sized caster, the largest object that can be assumed is Large-size. According to the PHB glossary, a Large (creature) is 8-16 foot in size. Assuming that the same goes for objects, we'll try for a 16' cube of gold, for 4096 cubic feet. That gives a weight of 4,915,200 lbs, for a damage of 24,576d6 when dropped from a height of 10 feet. You can fit 9 Medium-sized creatures underneath that block, for a grand total of 221,184d6 damage, or a mean of 774,144, or 86,016 per person.

I assume you have to manifest Fly first
http://boards.wizards.com/rpg/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=113;t=009434

His original smackdown outdid DM Vengeance's Smackdown, but it's for a 20th-level character.

You can shapechange into any object less than 200' in any dimension. For this, we'll assume the form of a 200' cube of solid gold. Gold weighs about 1,200 pounds per cubic foot, so a 200' cube of gold weighs about 9,600,000,000 pounds.

For every 200 pounds an object weighs, it deals 1d6 damage for falling 10 feet. (DMG, page 89.) Our cube of gold, therefore, does 48,000,000d6 damage. On average, that's 168,000,000 damage. Now, you can fit 1,600 Medium-size creatures in a 200' square. Add up all the damage you deal to all of them, and you get 268,800,000,000 damage

I haven't read all the smackdowns here, so I'm not sure if I just copied someone's smakcdown, or if this is along the same lines as Time Stop/Blade Barrier.

 

[Impeesa]

I call this one "Terrible abuse of the epic spell system that should never see the light of day". Two disclaimers:

1) This is level 21, so it's epic and 5 levels above the norm. However, it's still impressive, and far more so than most at that level. Plus, it's a lot more consistent - you're fine with no items in antimagic, at all times.

2) This centers around the terrible loophole that epic spells use the shortest duration in the event of multiple seeds, and DC 0 spells are essentially free to research. While no sane DM would even think about allowing any of what I'm about to propose, I haven't heard any errata yet... so let's see how far we can push it.

First: his epic spells-

17 foresee
27 fortify (base sr)
-220 casting time
+176 for base SR of 69
____________________
DC: 0


17 foresee
17 fortify (enhancement)
-220 casting time
+186 for +94 enhancement bonus (all stats, saves, SR, natural armor)
____________________
DC: 0


17 foresee
23 fortify (other)
-220 casting time
+180 for +31 [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] bonus (all stats, saves, SR, armor)
____________________
DC: 0


17 foresee
17 fortify (energy resistance)
-220 casting time
+186 for energy resistance 94 to each type
____________________
DC: 0


14 armor
17 foresee
-220 casting time
+188 for +98 armor bonus
____________________
DC: 0


17 foresee
17 fortify (DR)
-220 casting time
+186 for DR 148/+14
_____________________
DC: 0

What's funny is that the moment he hits level 21, he retires to his study for 10 minutes, makes some mad scribblings... and spends 20 years casting it all.

So.. monk 1/clr 20 (monk is for style - see end of post)

Stats: Let's say he's pretty average - base 10 everything, except a nice fat wisdom. We'll leave out items for the moment.

STR 10 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 259 [+124]
DEX 10 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 259 [+124]
CON 10 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 259 [+124]
INT 10 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 259 [+124]
WIS 18 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] +5 level = 272 [+131]
CHR 10 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 259 [+124]

HP: 21d8 + 2604 (2698 average)
AC: 10 +124 dex +124 wis +94 natural +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] +98 armor = 605
Saves:
fort: +13 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] +124 ability = +386
ref: +8 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] +124 ability = +381
will: +13 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] +131 ability = +393
DR: 148/+14
SR: 69 +94 enhancement +(31*5) [divine/luck/sacred/insight/morale] = 318
Energy resistance 94, all types

So where's the smackdown itself? Um... so he's having lunch with his god, right? And he's like "so why didn't you answer that last miracle there, huh?" and his god goes "well, you're a punk, you didn't need it." So the cleric reaches across the table and smacks him a few times. Attacks are at +138 bare naked, he shouldn't miss... has no problem with the DR, being unarmed, so he should hit all three times doing an average of 382. While this is 5 levels above the norm with rather anticlimactic damage, I'd like to see all you mounted charging leaping freaks do 382 a round without spilling your drink.

--Impeesa--

 

[Archer]

That whole series has already been debunked over at wizards. Permanent stat increases are limited to a +5 inherent bonus and recommended minimum DC for epic spells are 10. Permanent spells have a x5 DC multiplier applied before any negative modifiers. Fortify spells with instantaneous duration are useless because the benefit expires instantaneously.

The last bunch of smacks haven't made much of an attempt to actually follow written rules. There aren't loopholes, only errors on the part of people making the smacks. Anyone can make up a "house" rule that allows them to do an infinite amount of damage by breaking one of the normal limits.

 

[Impeesa]

That whole series has already been debunked over at wizards.

That's what I thought, but all I could turn up with a quick search was some uninformed rambling and complaining.

Permanent stat increases are limited to a +5 inherent bonus...

I quote: "If you apply a factor to make the duration permanent..." I am neither adding any sort of duration-affecting factor nor making it permanent.

...and recommended minimum DC for epic spells are 10.

Makes sense, hopefully that makes it into the official FAQ or errata. AFAIK, it isn't at the moment.

Permanent spells have a x5 DC multiplier applied before any negative modifiers.

Yeah, good thing this doesn't involve the 'permanent' factor. Otherwise it'd get expensive.

Fortify spells with instantaneous duration are useless because the benefit expires instantaneously.

Fireball's instantaneous... are you trying to tell me your poor victims become instantly unburned? Wow... that kind of makes Harm, Heal, and PW: Kill kind of useless....

--Impeesa--

 

[Archer]

Instantaneous spells have no ongoing effect. Fireball doesn't keep on burning, heal doesn't keep on healing and fortify doesn't continue its fortify effect. Wall of Stone etc create a non magical object and have no further effect.

 

[Impeesa]

Instantaneous spells have no ongoing effect. Fireball doesn't keep on burning, heal doesn't keep on healing and fortify doesn't continue its fortify effect. Wall of Stone etc create a non magical object and have no further effect.

And you find it perfectly fine to say that magic can conjure up a giant wall of iron or a perfectly formed ball of flame which does not remain magical in nature after its creation, but cannot, say, increase someone's muscle mass or brain power in a similarly physical fashion? Hell, even good diet and excercise can do that...

Edit: thought I should point out that I'm mostly arguing for the sake of debate, I'll be the first one to say that something here needs errata and this should never see the light of day in a real game.

--Impeesa--

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

Archer, which smacks had errors in them?

 

[Archer]

The naga one, the jumping one, any that have potions with personal targets, the epic spell one and the one that uses the oaths from Hallowed Might only works in very specific situations because the oaths are very powerful and need DM adjudication as written right in their description but I liked the oath one anyway.

I'm not saying that fortify can't increase an attribute but only for a limited time, 20 hrs at the most. When checking to see if an enhancement bonus is in effect you ask if there is any time remaining in the spell duration. If the answer is no, then there is no bonus. When you finish an instantaneous spell, is there any time remaining in the duration?

 

[Victim]

Well, since I made the cleric one, I guess I should defend it.

1) The smackdown works with Core Rules only - either at 9th or 11th level depending on the ruling regarding Incense+Candle. Using BoHM spells and feats just makes it better, so it's more like modern smacks as opposed to old 200 point ones.

2) Considering the degree of planning and expenditure of time limited and one shot items involved, PCs with Oath feats will probably be able to use them. The setup required - not to mention the 13000 GP cost - pretty much limit the attack's use to very special targets. The kind of enemies that you'd swear an oath to defeat. Besides, most smackdowns assume somewhat favorable conditions.

But I agree about the instantaneous buff spells being useless. For a nano second, your character has the super epic buff on. But you could still apply all kinds of other limiting factors that, in the contrived Smackdown situation, aren't limiting. For example, make it a ritual spell that requires a couple of other spell casters to dump all their spell slots and you might be able to get a halfway decent duration on the spell.