Taking away the shame...of Roleplaying!

[TalonComics]

Listen to Talon here. I know I've told this story before, but we have new folks around all the time, and it bears repeating, I think. I harbored a secret desire to play D&D all through my college years. But the only people I ever encountered who played were terrifying to me. (To give you an example of how freakish they were, one of them ran off to join the Moonies.) If some normal guy had ever invited me to play, I would have jumped at the chance! I didn't know where to buy the books, and I didn't have the confidence to hunt up other players. So I wasted 20 years of my life not gaming. Yeah, 20 years. Sucks, doesn't it?

The moral of this story is that there are probably many other girls out there just like I was. Offer them the opportunity to play, and you'll do both of yourselves a big favor.

Along the same lines, I booted a guy out of my store for running off a female customer. SHe had come in looking for something for her boyfriend and this guy started hitting on her and asking her all sorts of dumb ass questions. His one claim to fame was he had an English accent and he figured he could just say whatever and women would want him. Anyway, he was way overbearing and forced me to toss him from the store. You want to see me get pissed off really fast all you have to do is scare a female customer.

If Wizards of the Coast wants to bring in more people into gaming they're going to have to think out of the box that is the gaming community. I don't think gaming is for everyone but I *do* think there are thousands of people who who love to game once they were shown how. It's the good exposure aspect that is the hard part to find as Buttercup pointed out.

~D

 

[SemperJase]

The moral of this story is that there are probably many other girls out there just like I was. Offer them the opportunity to play, and you'll do both of yourselves a big favor.

My wife turned out to be one of these. After we moved in together, she found out I played D&D. She seemed to view it as a wierd thing I did but overlooked it.

We got married, then about two years ago, I made a crack about her not liking D&D. That's when she pointed out to me that I never invited her to play.

After that I got her into my gaming group. She was the first woman any of us had played with. Then another guy brought his girlfriend. We quickly became entirely co-ed.

During that time, we all assumed the women were playing to do something with their significant others, not necessarily for the love of the game.

Well, eventually, we ended up with another gaming group. My wife joined that one with me. After a few months, my work schedule prevented me from attending the game night.

My beautiful wife now attends without me. (We have since started another group of our own.) So she is now in two groups. I'm in just the one.

She always tells our families about the games and freely talks to others about it, moreso than I do. Its great.

 

[TalonComics]

I was toying with the idea of doing a "singles gaming night" but I'm not sure if I could find an equal number of women to men ratio. It's a great idea on paper though.

~D

 

[Pazu]

<snip>

There is no reason at all to be ashamed of being a gamer! If you're in a situation where one of your friends makes fun of you then I would say the problem is your so called friend and not your choice of hobbies.

This point bears repeating.

When I first starting gaming (oh, back around 1980 or thereabouts), I had no idea that it should be considered anything strange. There were a bunch of us in middle school who played AD&D fairly regularly, and it was during that period of time where practically everyone I knew in middle school or high school had at least "tried" the game once.

Just two years later, in 8th grade, I was sitting in class flipping through whatever issue of DRAGON magazine was current at the time (waiting for class to start, honest! ) when some people started making fun of me. Now, this was not a particularly new thing in general, but what was unusual in this particular instance was that 1) I learned that AD&D was not considered "cool", and 2) one of the people making fun of me was the person from whom I'd borrowed the issue of the magazine in the first place!

I remember being so completely astounded at the hypocrisy that I was literally speechless. I finally managed to say something to the effect of, "Hey, it's your magazine, dude!" to which he responded "At least I don't read it in public." As if this made him a better person.

Of course, in the fullness of time he blossomed into a more completely-developed and I promptly excised him from my list of friends.

Dating tip: If you're with a girl or guy who you enjoy being around and the potential for a serious relationship is there... Be honest with who you are. Don't lie. Don't hide your hobbies. It will only come back and bite you in the ass later on.

Another point that bears repeating.

Ironically, it was a different hobby that taught me this lesson. During the latter part of high school and first year of college, I was desperately in (unrequited) love with this girl. I was trying just about everything to get her to go out with me. And at one point, I discovered that she was extremely entomophobic.

I have neglected to mention until now that one of my favorite hobbies was (and is) collecting insects.

But that year (1987) I stopped cold. The entire collection went into the closet, where, due to lack of mothballing when I went away to college, it soon disintegrated into sad little piles of dust. Beautiful specimens of butterflies from Taiwan (where I haven't been since) and exotic beetles from the Amazon (where I haven't been since) reduced to nothing.

Of course (need I say it), the girl still never went out with me. She doesn't really figure in my life anymore, but this isn't an issue with me at all. The loss of my old collection, well, that still hits me from time to time.

(Ironically, one of the big reasons I was attracted to this girl in the first place was that she was a serious gamer, comic book fan, and science fiction geek. )

But this story does have a happy ending! I'm married to a beautiful lady who loves gaming, science fiction, comic books, and anime, we have a wonderful house, and are in several long-running campaigns with good friends. And while my wife doesn't study insects in her spare time the way I do, she thinks the new collection is beautiful (and doesn't mind when I keep specimens in the freezer).

I have no idea where I meant to go with all of this.



-- Pazu

 

[Angcuru]

I think that In general, you shouldn't care about what others think about you. Be yourself, look out for #1.

If someone pokes fun at your for one of your hobbies, you shouldn't avoid that hobby simple because some simpleton though you were odd. Only listen to the opinions of people who you respect, and respect is a thing that is earned, not automatically gained for one reason or another. Besides, people who make fun of others tend to be insecure about themselves in the first place, and therefore their opinions are rendered irrelevant.

As for D&D - Romance compatability...it shouldn't pose a problem. People are defined by what they do, and you should let your significant other know who you are in every aspect. If they think the game is incredibly stupid and tell you to forget about the game or forget about them...forget about them. Someone who wants to be that controlling is likely to be abusive and a general ass later on in life. However, it seems to me that since this person is attracted to you, they may be interested in your hobbies, since they define you as the person that they are attracted to. Mutual hobbies also provide two people to have a better understanding of one another, so spousal gaming could actually enhance the relationship. Just imagine...His and Hers dice bags...aawwww...

In summation, if someone doesn't like you gaming, they aren't worth listening to.

 

[blackshirt5]

Well said, bro.

Of course, I also met Toni through mine and her facination with gaming, so it's a double-edged sword.

 

[Angcuru]

But that's to be expected. She's related to Rich and Paulie!

 

[blackshirt5]

The real shame is not in roleplaying. The real shame is in the fact that I'd still go back out with her if I got the chance.

I'm a sad, lonely, psychotic panda.

 

[Merlion]

Just imagine...His and Hers dice bags...aawwww...

Or His and His in my case Or would be if we had more dice...and dice bags...anyway

 

[blackshirt5]

Or His and His in my case Or would be if we had more dice...and dice bags...anyway

wait a second, you're gay?

didn't know that.