Teaching the spousal unit D&D
- Thread starter Olgar Shiverstone
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Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
Update: Overall, it was a lukewarm reception, I'm afraid. We played for about 2 hours last night -- total time from explaining dice and character sheets to concluding the first adventure. I used the first scenario from the D&D Adventure Game (rescue the unicorn from the goblins), to which I'd appended some backstory and added a short overland adventure and a bit of roleplaying. We used the pre-genned Iconics from the Adventure Game.
She chose to play Lidda, and after introducing the scenario, and doing a bit of roleplaying, she hired Jozan and Mialee to accompany her. The party successfully tracked the goblins to their lair, and after a bit of trepidation about some very large boot tracks (from hobgoblins who are the planned link to adventure #2), Lidda snuck into the goblin cave with Jozan and Mialee on here heels, and opened a door to the chamber where the goblins were waiting.
The gobbos rushed out and focused their attacks on Jozan and Mialee, as Lidda hid undetected in the shadows and stealthily prepared a sneak attack with her crossbow. Mialee fell to a critical hit, and Lidda's sneak attack attempt failed on a "1" roll, so Lidda tumbled into the goblin lair, shutting the door behind her. Jozan's screams for help (he was rendered unconscious by the remaining two goblins) encouraged Lidda to return to the aid of her friends, and she dropped one of the two remaining goblins with a crossbow shot, then drew her shortsword and attacked.
After a little "flurry of misses" action so frustrating with 1st level characters ("You swing ... and miss" ... "He swings ... and misses" ... "you swing ... and miss" ...) she dispatched the goblin, freed the unicorn, used his horn to stabilize Mialee, revived Jozan, and beat a retreat to a local farmhouse, leaving a door in the goblin lair unopened (knowing that there were at least four goblins, but they'd encountered only three, and were a bit low on hit points). I awarded XP, and we stopped for the evening.
Lessons learned:
1. Two hours is about her limit. Focus was beginning to drift -- the pace wasn't fast enough. "All that time and we didn't really do that much," she said. Might get better as she gets more comfortable with the rules, but it's a pretty valid criticism of the game in general.
2. She was uncomfortable with the roleplaying a bit at first, but quickly got much better. She'd be a very challenging player for a DM -- she expects motivations to be very consistent. When approached to rescue the unicorn, her first response was "Why me? Go find someone who's up to that sort of thing!" Might make adventure hooks quite a challenge. Once she got more into character (which didn't take long once she was more comfortable) her RPing was really good for a first-timer.
3. She was uncomfortable taking a leadership role and making decisions that might have "life or death" consequences, and I did a poor job of helping out. I typically don't like to play NPCs as part of a party, and have a bit more of a "referee" style of DMing. I realize Jozan and Mialee should have taken a bit more active role in offering advice and leading the way -- I let her down here, and should have been a better guide. SU thought she'd actually be more comfortable with a couple of other players -- she wanted someone else to help her make decisions.
4. At first she had a difficult time with choosing actions, but by the end she was pretty proficient. The Adventure Game character sheets were very helpful in that regard -- the explanations of what the skills were and what they do was pretty helpful. When at a loss for an action, she'd search her character sheet, pick out a skill, and put it to use in a resourceful way. She displayed some remarkable tactical savvy for a first-timer, making good use of hiding, moving silently, and employing cover when firing her crossbow. She definitely saved the day -- I (probably stupidly) wasn't fudging any results in the party's favor, and with both Mialee and Jozan down (one dying, one unconscious) it could easily have been a TPK.
5. She wanted more options than the limited Adventure Game characters gave her -- use of Tracking, Survival, and Heal all came up, so we improvised, and 5' steps and attacks of opportunity were part of her thinking during the fight.
Overall, I'm really proud of how she did, but I think she felt a little let down by it all. I think we both had too high expectations -- I really wanted her to have fun, and she really wanted to impress me with her play and live up to whatever expectations I might have had.
Will we play again? Don't know. Two things give me some hope. After playing, she wanted to know how XP worked, and how the adventure would apply to "her" character when we rolled her up (to which I said we'd just give Lidda's XP to the new character -- Lidda was a stand-in to help her learn the rules. "Is that cheating?" she asked -- "No, not really."). And they this morning when she woke up, she said she'd been thinking about where that last goblin had gotten to, what was behind door number 2, and wished they'd found some treasure!
So maybe ... I'll help out more next time (if there is one), relax a bit, and hopefully we'll both have more fun!
She chose to play Lidda, and after introducing the scenario, and doing a bit of roleplaying, she hired Jozan and Mialee to accompany her. The party successfully tracked the goblins to their lair, and after a bit of trepidation about some very large boot tracks (from hobgoblins who are the planned link to adventure #2), Lidda snuck into the goblin cave with Jozan and Mialee on here heels, and opened a door to the chamber where the goblins were waiting.
The gobbos rushed out and focused their attacks on Jozan and Mialee, as Lidda hid undetected in the shadows and stealthily prepared a sneak attack with her crossbow. Mialee fell to a critical hit, and Lidda's sneak attack attempt failed on a "1" roll, so Lidda tumbled into the goblin lair, shutting the door behind her. Jozan's screams for help (he was rendered unconscious by the remaining two goblins) encouraged Lidda to return to the aid of her friends, and she dropped one of the two remaining goblins with a crossbow shot, then drew her shortsword and attacked.
After a little "flurry of misses" action so frustrating with 1st level characters ("You swing ... and miss" ... "He swings ... and misses" ... "you swing ... and miss" ...) she dispatched the goblin, freed the unicorn, used his horn to stabilize Mialee, revived Jozan, and beat a retreat to a local farmhouse, leaving a door in the goblin lair unopened (knowing that there were at least four goblins, but they'd encountered only three, and were a bit low on hit points). I awarded XP, and we stopped for the evening.
Lessons learned:
1. Two hours is about her limit. Focus was beginning to drift -- the pace wasn't fast enough. "All that time and we didn't really do that much," she said. Might get better as she gets more comfortable with the rules, but it's a pretty valid criticism of the game in general.
2. She was uncomfortable with the roleplaying a bit at first, but quickly got much better. She'd be a very challenging player for a DM -- she expects motivations to be very consistent. When approached to rescue the unicorn, her first response was "Why me? Go find someone who's up to that sort of thing!" Might make adventure hooks quite a challenge. Once she got more into character (which didn't take long once she was more comfortable) her RPing was really good for a first-timer.
3. She was uncomfortable taking a leadership role and making decisions that might have "life or death" consequences, and I did a poor job of helping out. I typically don't like to play NPCs as part of a party, and have a bit more of a "referee" style of DMing. I realize Jozan and Mialee should have taken a bit more active role in offering advice and leading the way -- I let her down here, and should have been a better guide. SU thought she'd actually be more comfortable with a couple of other players -- she wanted someone else to help her make decisions.
4. At first she had a difficult time with choosing actions, but by the end she was pretty proficient. The Adventure Game character sheets were very helpful in that regard -- the explanations of what the skills were and what they do was pretty helpful. When at a loss for an action, she'd search her character sheet, pick out a skill, and put it to use in a resourceful way. She displayed some remarkable tactical savvy for a first-timer, making good use of hiding, moving silently, and employing cover when firing her crossbow. She definitely saved the day -- I (probably stupidly) wasn't fudging any results in the party's favor, and with both Mialee and Jozan down (one dying, one unconscious) it could easily have been a TPK.
5. She wanted more options than the limited Adventure Game characters gave her -- use of Tracking, Survival, and Heal all came up, so we improvised, and 5' steps and attacks of opportunity were part of her thinking during the fight.
Overall, I'm really proud of how she did, but I think she felt a little let down by it all. I think we both had too high expectations -- I really wanted her to have fun, and she really wanted to impress me with her play and live up to whatever expectations I might have had.
Will we play again? Don't know. Two things give me some hope. After playing, she wanted to know how XP worked, and how the adventure would apply to "her" character when we rolled her up (to which I said we'd just give Lidda's XP to the new character -- Lidda was a stand-in to help her learn the rules. "Is that cheating?" she asked -- "No, not really."). And they this morning when she woke up, she said she'd been thinking about where that last goblin had gotten to, what was behind door number 2, and wished they'd found some treasure!
So maybe ... I'll help out more next time (if there is one), relax a bit, and hopefully we'll both have more fun!
About two years ago I convinced my wife to play a couple of sessions, with just her and a friend of mine playing (I, of course, DMed). She seemed to like it fine, but the subject just disappeared for awhile after that.
Then last year I mentioned to her that I was short players for a new game I was starting, and she piped up "I'll play!" She has been in my game ever since, and seems to be loving it.
For my part, one of my greatest joys in life is both knowing that my wife plays in my game.
Then last year I mentioned to her that I was short players for a new game I was starting, and she piped up "I'll play!" She has been in my game ever since, and seems to be loving it.
For my part, one of my greatest joys in life is both knowing that my wife plays in my game.
alsih2o
First Post
Setting aside the REAL alsih2o, I give you words form my wife, who recently started playing-
Yes it really is ME not em
The first think I thought when Clay showed me your initial post was "don't think of it as teaching her, rather letting her find out about it by asking you questions and figuring it out herself? Then, reading everyone's comments, I realized what made my introduction into gaming so great was playing with people who were experienced. That way I could watch how they handled the various situations. Also I could ask them for help and not the hubby. I got the whole "group of people working/playing together" feeling, which I have to say is still my favorite part.
And, as someone previously suggested, I think all being first level is less intimidating for a newbie. Why don't you see if your group will play a brand new game with all Level 1 characters for a few sessions before throwing her into the fray of your on-going campaign?
Yes it really is ME not em
The first think I thought when Clay showed me your initial post was "don't think of it as teaching her, rather letting her find out about it by asking you questions and figuring it out herself? Then, reading everyone's comments, I realized what made my introduction into gaming so great was playing with people who were experienced. That way I could watch how they handled the various situations. Also I could ask them for help and not the hubby. I got the whole "group of people working/playing together" feeling, which I have to say is still my favorite part.
And, as someone previously suggested, I think all being first level is less intimidating for a newbie. Why don't you see if your group will play a brand new game with all Level 1 characters for a few sessions before throwing her into the fray of your on-going campaign?
Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
alsih2o said:
That's a great idea. (sigh) Unfortunately we've relocated and it's a 2 to 2 1/2 hour drive to game with my old group, so we don't get together much anymore; work & time commitments keep me from pursuing a new group here in this area.
howandwhy99
Adventurer
Hey Olgar,
You are probably 3 steps ahead of me on this, but if your wife does wish to join the ongoing adventure, I suggest she reads the storyhour before hand. I know that both Scott and I did before playing and it really helped to get us up to speed with the entirety of concerns facing the party at that time. Given our current situation, I imagine this applies even moreso now.
A 1st level game would be fun. I know Diaglo is running OD&D every other Sunday now and, if you aren't opposed to the alternate ruleset, I would suggest playing once or twice with us. The rules are very light and we focus almost entirely on roleplay and problem solving.
This doesn't help with learning the 3rd edition rules, so maybe a 1st level game with some of us may work. Shayne now has a big 'ol van
that can carry 6 comfortably. I for one wouldn't mind playing a 1st level game that no one knows; either one you wrote or something like the Freeport adventures.
We could then focus on being in character and then OOC explain what we do rulewise aloud as each rule is used. I think this would help to give an example of play and some of the metagame issues that aren't addressed in the PHB, but in the DMG instead.
You are probably 3 steps ahead of me on this, but if your wife does wish to join the ongoing adventure, I suggest she reads the storyhour before hand. I know that both Scott and I did before playing and it really helped to get us up to speed with the entirety of concerns facing the party at that time. Given our current situation, I imagine this applies even moreso now.
A 1st level game would be fun. I know Diaglo is running OD&D every other Sunday now and, if you aren't opposed to the alternate ruleset, I would suggest playing once or twice with us. The rules are very light and we focus almost entirely on roleplay and problem solving.
This doesn't help with learning the 3rd edition rules, so maybe a 1st level game with some of us may work. Shayne now has a big 'ol van
that can carry 6 comfortably. I for one wouldn't mind playing a 1st level game that no one knows; either one you wrote or something like the Freeport adventures. We could then focus on being in character and then OOC explain what we do rulewise aloud as each rule is used. I think this would help to give an example of play and some of the metagame issues that aren't addressed in the PHB, but in the DMG instead.
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Buttercup
Princess of Florin
I taught my husband to play a couple of years ago, and he's still iffy on some of the rules. The whole magic thing is really confusing to him, so he just plays fighters and barbarians.
I used the Adventure Game, but you wouldn't have to do that, as long as you simplified some things at first. Don't overwhelm her with Grapple and so forth. Give her a short list of things her character can do--perhaps limiting her druid spells to a few that you can easily work into the adventure--and give her plenty of opportunities to use the basic mechanic. You know, roll a d20 and add the appropriate bonus (or subtract the penalty). I'd also be very careful with the first few combats. It is important that she succeed, but you don't want it to be such a cake-walk that it seems stupid.
Note: my husband is for some reason bothered by there being 9 levels of spells that do not correspond to the character's level. "What? If that wizard is 6th level, why can't he cast 6th level spells? That's just dumb!" Maybe he's just obtuse. It never perplexed me, when I learned. Or maybe it really is a confusing thing for some people.
Good luck and have lots of fun!
I used the Adventure Game, but you wouldn't have to do that, as long as you simplified some things at first. Don't overwhelm her with Grapple and so forth. Give her a short list of things her character can do--perhaps limiting her druid spells to a few that you can easily work into the adventure--and give her plenty of opportunities to use the basic mechanic. You know, roll a d20 and add the appropriate bonus (or subtract the penalty). I'd also be very careful with the first few combats. It is important that she succeed, but you don't want it to be such a cake-walk that it seems stupid.
Note: my husband is for some reason bothered by there being 9 levels of spells that do not correspond to the character's level. "What? If that wizard is 6th level, why can't he cast 6th level spells? That's just dumb!" Maybe he's just obtuse. It never perplexed me, when I learned. Or maybe it really is a confusing thing for some people.
Good luck and have lots of fun!
Arrgh! Mark!
First Post
Well, I have been trying to get the gf into gaming for awhile. To begin with, she was a bit iffy, and not really understanding of the rules - and despite being an absolute fantasy fan, she wasn't too keen on a 1-1 forgotten realms, so I gave it a miss.
Then I bought Godlike, and told her how enthiusiastic I was about it. She said she wanted to play, and I was enthiusiastic, so we played with the rest of the group - and she was quite happy with it, telling me she preferred it to fantasy, and wanted to play more!
I was suprised, but overjoyed. It really does mean quite a lot to enjoy the same pastimes
Then I bought Godlike, and told her how enthiusiastic I was about it. She said she wanted to play, and I was enthiusiastic, so we played with the rest of the group - and she was quite happy with it, telling me she preferred it to fantasy, and wanted to play more!
I was suprised, but overjoyed. It really does mean quite a lot to enjoy the same pastimes
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Olgar Shiverstone
Legend
Addendum: There's still some interest there! She's very interested in finding out what was behind that door left unopened in the goblin cave, and wanted to make "her" character. So we spent a couple hours last night discussing character concepts.
She read through the various descriptions of the character classes, and took the "Who are you?" survey that's now up on the WOTC website, which told her she'd either like to be an elf rogue or half-elf sorcerer. She really likes thr rogue, but wanted to be able to do a little nature magic, and have some better fighting skills, so ultimately she settled on a half-elf ranger (with some thoughts of maybe taking rogue levels, sometime -- Calrom and Fiddle beware!).
We spent a while trying to pick out a character sheet she would find easy to use. She really likes the Adventure Game version, which is simple, easy to read, and has explanations, so I'm modifying one for her ranger (though we're starting a full sheet as a backup).
So the hook is set, if lightly!
She read through the various descriptions of the character classes, and took the "Who are you?" survey that's now up on the WOTC website, which told her she'd either like to be an elf rogue or half-elf sorcerer. She really likes thr rogue, but wanted to be able to do a little nature magic, and have some better fighting skills, so ultimately she settled on a half-elf ranger (with some thoughts of maybe taking rogue levels, sometime -- Calrom and Fiddle beware!).
We spent a while trying to pick out a character sheet she would find easy to use. She really likes the Adventure Game version, which is simple, easy to read, and has explanations, so I'm modifying one for her ranger (though we're starting a full sheet as a backup).
So the hook is set, if lightly!
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