TSR The Cult of Abaddon - Release from NuTSR/TheEvilDM

[adamantyr]

Donald Semora of Wizard Tower Games has clarified their involvement...

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So I have to ask the question... Say you're a layout person, and someone asks you to layout their document for publication. The document they hand you is an editorial train smash that makes you question life itself. Do you push back, strongly suggesting "hey, maybe you should get someone who isn't insane proofread this", or do you just say "f$%# it" and do the layout anyway without any regards of what it actually is you're laying out?

I just spent a little time looking at WTG's example page from their upcoming "The Haunted Ruins". The layout and artwork are well done. The writing is... well it isn't good. It's far better than Abaddon, but that's a low bar.

The biggest issue is the target audience. The sections meant for the GM have phrases like "Appears to be" and "NPC appears to be this". The GM needs definitive statements like "The walls ARE this." and "The NPC IS a heavy-set man".

There are many run-on sentences, and sentences with commas in the wrong place. And I'm not sure why they spend space on giving GM advice. It feels like every OSR publisher thinks they have to tell you how to run a game.

And then you have a sentence like this: "Briar is a hub for merchant loads coming from Moordeep and Drakmar which are port towns, and Dark Home the largest city in Amaria." Okay, first off, loads?! Was the word you were looking for "caravans" or just cross out loads entirely as it's redundant? Also, shoehorning in three cities that don't even come up in the adventure is a little odd. My guess is they plan to sell a campaign setting down the road. Nothing wrong with that, just a jarring place to do an info drop.

I'm probably being over-critical. I just think the key to a good module is good writing and communication. WTG definitely nailed the art and layout, and it would be nice to see the writing brought up to a similar level. Since it comes out on the 10th, I imagine it's too late.

 

[thirdkingdom]

OSRIC has an OGL at the back. Personally, I think it's a good idea to use it even for OSR products, because while not 3e or 5e specific, there are a lot of terms and rules in the OGL that also existed in earlier editions.

And IP, like terms such as "Underdark", are off limits whether you use it or not. You need a special license for that from WotC.

Most OSR products I'm aware of have the OGL as part of the book.

 

[Deset Gled]

And then you have a sentence like this: "Briar is a hub for merchant loads coming from Moordeep and Drakmar which are port towns, and Dark Home the largest city in Amaria."

As I read, it feels like parts of the text were in list form when Vincent gave the module to TSR, and it was hastily converted to paragraphs. That would explain some of the run-on sentences and randomly inserted facts.

Unrelated, I noticed a peculiar bit in the stat blocks provided. An example:

2D4 Kobolds / AC 9, HP 6, Dmg 1-4

Why is the number of kobolds listed as 2D4 but the damage listed as 1-4? This is consistent across multiple stat blocks; damage is just a range. But dice are listed in various other places, including the weird "falling damage" sections, which uses d6s.

 

[TheAlkaizer]

Most of the time, I'm very critical of my own level of English as it is not my mother tongue and think that I might not have the editing skills to get something to a publishable state.

And then I see this, which will sell probably more copies than I would dream for my own projects:

 

[darjr]

Most of the time, I'm very critical of my own level of English as it is not my mother tongue and think that I might not have the editing skills to get something to a publishable state.

And then I see this, which will sell probably more copies than I would dream for my own projects:
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Do you have a link to your stuff?

 

[Stormonu]

Someone (in this thread or another) mentioned what a re-written description of the town would look like - this is my stab at it (probably better as two paragraphs, but I’m not being paid for this…):

”Morrus is a simple village located near the river. Villagers use the river as a source of fresh water and fish. The river passes to the north to the sister village of Midus, whom uses the river for the same purposes. The village of Morrus has smooth, dirt paths winding through it as its main roads. Shade trees and low, decorative bushes are scattered through the village. Overall, the village gives off a cozy, laid-back charm.”

 

[Jer]

Most of the time, I'm very critical of my own level of English as it is not my mother tongue and think that I might not have the editing skills to get something to a publishable state.

And then I see this, which will sell probably more copies than I would dream for my own projects:
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I know this isn't the main thing wrong here but why are there "scare quotes" around "fresh water"? And that the word Water is capitalized in that last sentence. Do we find out later that there's something wrong with the water? Are there stats for The Water in the back where its revealed that its actually some kind of monster? Is "fresh water" a game term defined elsewhere? (That would at least make some sense since the first sentence already implies that the water is drinkable).

 

[Deset Gled]

I know this isn't the main thing wrong here but why are there "scare quotes" around "fresh water"?

No.

 

[Stormonu]

Probably because most Americans wouldn’t think of water with fish in it as drinkable (“fresh”) water.

 

[Umbran]

Aren't most OSR game made without an OGL license though, as they're

1. not claiming to be compatible with any D&D edition that has an OGL

The OGL has nothing to do with compatibility. Mutants and Masterminds is an OGL game, and it isn't compatible with other d20 games.