The French

[Ferret]

I've taken Communication studies as part of my A levels and I've been asked to do research on The was another culture communicates, and I chose french as I know a bit about it already, (Je parle un petit peu de francais), and about smiles, hand shakes, dress, speaking loudly and some other social etiquette. But I feel like I don't really know much about it, so I thought I would come here to ask for a bit of advise about what social customs make the french unique, so thank you for any help you can give.

 

[abri]

Well, being French (living in the state ) I think I can help
First I'd advice watching the "no reservation" episode on the travel channel, it really sums up nicely some important aspect of our way of life.
As I found by coming to what I thought was a relatively similar culture, the difference are too numerous to describe in less than a library!
Just for example:
- French food is something most people think they know. What most don't realize is that it is the relation to food that is different in France, the general approach to cooking as well as the effort that we are ready to put into it, NOT the recipe (this is why most chef I know in France use a lot of asian recipe and make them french). ps: escoffier style cooking generally is the "french" cooking most people know and most french would agree it's not french at all even though the inventor was french.
-About the loudly part: YES, we tend to swear a lot but you have to agree it, our swearing are imaginative and sound nice. In fact we tend to use a lot of expressions that can get us in a LOT of trouble in other countries.

 

[Gansk]

My father lives there and I lived there for a year.

There is a book on the whole subject written by an American who lives there, but I can't remember the title at the moment. Most of what she said I agree with.

The retail industry in France is only recently starting to believe in the concept of the customer is always right. There was an anecdote in the book where a manager flatly told a customer, "No, that's not true."

If you want to get a French stranger on the street to help you, you need to deliver a great sob story. If it keeps the person entertained, there is a much better chance they will help. If it is too short or too ordinary, then forget it.

However, if you drop something, people on the street will bend over backwards to make sure you know.

 

[fuindordm]

The differences are manifold and too numerous to list off. I'm American and have been living in the Paris area for a year now. A couple of things that have struck me follow:

Mockery and performance are part of everyone's repertoire. Giving an entertaining sob story is the best way to get help, but another way is to participate in the cycle of mockery. Among friends especially, everyday socializing includes a level of light-hearted insulting and repartee that would shatter an anglo-saxon friendship. In public, people might not be insulting (unless they're in a very bad mood), but you can't necessarily take their first response at face value. A "no, it's impossible" might really mean "no, I'm bored and your problem doesn't interest me yet". People will bend over backwards for someone they're interested in, aiding them to a point that a good anglo-saxon friendship is unlikely ever to reach, but if you don't make it into their circle of interest then it can be very frustrating.

The point being that communication, in France, has many more layers than it does in America. The French, in my experience, don't like to be literal or to take each other literally; it makes socializing much more fun, and adds an element of play to even the most mundane interactions.

That doesn't make it easy to understand or participate for the rest of us, but I'm slowly learning how to play the game myself.

There are a lot of good culture books out there explaining French culture to anglo-saxons, full of good anecdotes. Two that I have myself are:

French or Foe? (don't remember the author)
Culture Shock (Sally Taylor)

Cheers,
Ben

 

[Ferret]

Thanks, that helps a lot!

 

[Gansk]

The book I read was French or Foe. Thanks for reminding me!

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Calling Turanil! Calling Turanil!

 

[Black Omega]

There are a lot of good culture books out there explaining French culture to anglo-saxons, full of good anecdotes. Two that I have myself are:

French or Foe? (don't remember the author)
Culture Shock (Sally Taylor)

I like the Culture Shock books. Good information and examples. I bought the one for Japan and found it very useful.

 

[Turanil]

Calling Turanil! Calling Turanil!

At least I heard! But the thread has been dead for weeks now, I guess...

Well, I don't really know what to say. I frequent some Americans here (including Ben), but I have yet to discern the important differences of behavior.

One of the main differences I can think of, off the top of my head:
-- French are extremely critical about their own country, about themseleves, etc. while I think American on the contrary tend to be proud of their country and of themselves.
-- Another thing, Frenchies try to not tell how much money they make, contrary to many Americans (or so I believe). They would rather sob on how poor they are (being rich can be a sin in this country ).
-- Despite the myth about it, I believe that there is no "French Lover" (at least I am not that one).
-- On the average, people don't believe in God in this country. Most of us don't care about religion. The few who do, often prefer to keep it secret (not tell even their friends - don't expect me to tell you what I believe about it, anyway it's forbidden on these boards).
-- I cannot believe it when I see American tourists who get lunch at the MacDonald rather than trying some French food, at least just to see the difference.
-- I think I can spot (+5 bonus on the check) Americans tourists from their clothing fashion. I think it needs to be improved...
-- Americans are probably more open to new ideas than the French. Maybe some Americans tend to be more naive, but we French tend to be more prejudiced and overly suspicious.
-- And last but not least: Political Correctness, thanks God, has still not reached this country!! I hate this concept!

 

[diaglo]

-- Americans are probably more open to new ideas than the French. Maybe some Americans tend to be more naive, but we French tend to be more prejudiced and overly suspicious.
-- And last but not least: Political Correctness, thanks God, has still not reached this country!! I hate this concept!

i think it is the OotS paladin in y'all.