The mid-lifer schedule crunch

[brcarl]

So I have a great group of 30-something married-with-kids guys (like myself) that I game with, and I enjoy the group immensely when we get together. The only problem is -- getting together is often VERY painful to organize. We're each so busy with our jobs, families and other activities (WoW, anyone? ) that we often go a full month between sessions. The DM is running a great Birthright-variant world with just enough background intruigue to keep things interesting but not overbearing. The whole thing is very cool, but it just dies for me in the long stretches between sessions.

This may be a question without an answer, but has anyone come up with creative ways of avoiding huge gaps between sessions? ...at least when dealing with groups made up like mine.

FYI, I've tried plugging the gaps between sessions with some on-line role-play via Internet forums, but we don't get enough participation to make that a reliable alternative. I've also suggested running some alternate campaigns when some/all of the group can't make it, but most of the players don't have the time or interest to take a turn DMing.

Creative suggestions welcome.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I'm in the same boat and have found that some things just can't be helped...especially if "The Marrieds" want to remain married, or someone has a nasty deadline on a bunch of code.

My best advice to you is to have a backup plan in place- some kind of activity that you can set up in a few minutes when someone can't make it and you have to cancel, or if you can't get everyone to show up and you know it.

Our group has done card games (poker, M:tG, Munchkin, Frag, etc.), boardgames (Acquire, Roborally, etc.), movie nights (videos, DVDS or first-runs in theatres), or even just got together to eat fun food, drink beers and watch the game on TV...

And even with all of that, sometimes, we go a month without meeting at all due to schedule conflicts.

One thing though- we don't EVER let computer gaming interfere with our face-to-face gaming. You can miss a night or be late because of Bible study or Karate class, but don't tell us you flaked on D&D to play in a MMORPG.

 

[KingCrab]

I'm 32 year old married DM with an annoying and time consuming job. I also have a campaign of 30-somethings. It's not uncommon to have to go a couple months without a game, but then whenever we do have time, we play as many weekends in a row as possible. I keep a copy of Talisman the board game handy, so if we can't get the whole group together, we can still have some (board) gaming going on.

 

[Crothian]

We can have the same problem. Each person is commited to a weekly game. I think some of the guys basically trade one night a week for gaming for one night of watching the kids or doing something cool for the wife. One thing we got lucky with is the wifes and girlfriends are very understanding and like that the husbands get out about once a week and have fun with the guys. All the wives I think have meet everyone else in the group, and we've had cook outs and zoo trips to hang out socially. I think that helps as well.

In between session we have a message board that we use to talk, explain things, and keep people involved.

 

[Catavarie]

One thing though- we don't EVER let computer gaming interfere with our face-to-face gaming. You can miss a night or be late because of Bible study or Karate class, but don't tell us you flaked on D&D to play in a MMORPG.

Does D&D Online count? After all it is still D&D.


Yeah I have the problem with my group as well. We barely get a chance for us to just get together let alone do any gaming, what little bit of guy time we do get is usually relegated to about an hour at Starbucks once a week.

 

[takyris]

A few different ideas:

1) Schedule the game so that each session is pretty self-contained. We pick weekend days or weekday nights when we can all stay out late enough to get to a good stopping point. (This is tough for the GM, I know.)

2) Schedule the next game night at the beginning of the existing game night, so there's none of that nebulous "Uh, yeah, at some point, again would be good," stuff.

3) E-mail in between sessions. Weak, but better than nothing, and if it can get a big party decision made before the session, that's something.

 

[kenobi65]

We have the same problem...for the two groups I DM, we play maybe once a month (sometimes even less often).

One rule of thumb we have, especially for the bigger group, is that we don't need 100% attendance to play; we'll play if we're missing a few players. I write the adventures for that campaign as fundamentally a series of one-shot adventures, so that there's not the disconnect of Fred's character being there, and then suddenly not being there.

The good part is that I am blessed with players who are definitely dedicated to, and interested in, the game, so even if we don't get to play as often as people might like, they still enjoy the game when we do play.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

One rule of thumb we have, especially for the bigger group, is that we don't need 100% attendance to play; we'll play if we're missing a few players.

We do the same, up to a point.

It can get sticky if someone was crucial to the plot at the moment- the absent guy is the one having a discussion with the sentient sword of destiny or what have you- but most of us are willing to let someone else (usually the DM) run our PCs if that happens.

(I'm actually the lone holdout on this- I always keep my own PCs, so if I'm not there, neither is my PC.)

 

[Joshua Randall]

Play on a weeknight. (Weekends are either too busy, or the spouses won't want you "wasting" the weekend on D&D.)

Play for no more than 3-4 hours.

Make it a regularly scheduled event that always occurs with the same frequency. That way people can mark it on their calendar months/years in advance.

Either people carve the time out of their schedule so they can play, or they don't.

 

[brcarl]

Thanks for the ideas so far.

...and misery loves company, I guess. :\

Our DM is also very good about going ahead without 100% participation (it's more often the case than not ) but sadly, despite his best efforts, this hurts the excellent plot and story he's threading along. We all nod our heads at this sad reality, but it's still a bummer (especially for the DM, I think) to have things starkly contrived now and then.

I like the "alternate game/activity" idea, but I'm not sure what everyone else in the group would like to do. Some are M:tGers, but I've kicked that habit and refuse to get hooked again. I'd love to try a "simple" RPG like RISUS or something, but I don't think any of the other guys have the energy to learn even a beer-and-pretzels system. Maybe a board game? Can anyone elaborate a little on the ones mentioned or other worthy notables?