In the late 1990s, our schedules got complicated. Children arrived, marriages occurred and careers got more involved. Gaming Stopped.
Until 2000, when D&D 3e came out and whet everyone's appetite for a game we hadn't played in many a year (having left D&D years prior to our lapse in gaming). We are, all of us, gamers in our 30s and 40s, some with kids and some with demanding jobs (including on-call work).
We manage to game most weekends, usually 3 out of 4 weekends or better. How? Several ways.
1) Alpha, Beta and Gamma. It soon became apparent that occasions would occur where people might have to cancel. However, with D&D as the centerpiece of our gaming week, we still wanted to play. To this end, we splintered the game. The Alpha game was our 5.5 year-long game with the interwoven plot and grand story. This was our main game, the one that players would gather to enjoy. But on nights when we were down a man or three, I invented the Beta game. Originally, this was a total ad-hoc affair. You may remember the FFG mini-module 'pamphlets' of early 3e? They were perfect for a single night affair with whoever happened to show up. No muss, no fuss, no expectation of anything but killin' some orcs. It wasn't a deep-story, but it was fun. We also have 'generic game nights' where we'd play stuff like Carcasonne, Alhambra or Catan when we just want to kick back.
2) Planning in advance. We plan our games anywhere from one to two months in advance. Creating a schedule, cross-referencing it and sending regular reminders via e-mail (we have a mailing list and discussion group for this purpose). Make contingency plans. Be flexible....people are GOING to have to cancel. Sometimes this can easily be overlooked in-game, and the DM just needs to work fast on his feet to continue on.
3) Fixed Times. When the game is a now quantity, it's easier to plan around or expect. That doesn't mean that it makes it incredibly easier to schedule, but it makes it easier for everyone involved to consider. We always play either Friday night or Saturday night, starting around 7-8PM. Our games usually run until 12-1AM. Everyone knows this and expects it. This usually allows us to make sure that the kids are abed after a certain hour, pets are quiet in cages, dinner has been eaten and so forth. Some players may come straight from work or other activities. Some players may leave early.
4) Location, Location, Location. Consider changing the location to make things easier, particularly for players who are also parents. It's much easier to run a game if you only need to excuse yourself for fifteen minutes to help put the kids to bed or take the dog for a walk.
5) Be Flexible. Understand that, as long as everyone is legitimately putting forth an effort to be there and play, STUFF HAPPENS. Players get calls to check on an emergency in the server room. Wives call to say that kids are sick. Husbands call to say they need the truck. People get sick. People get tired. People will be late. People are HUMAN. Remember that you're there to HAVE FUN. Got a holiday coming up? Plan accordingly. No one plays on Thanksgiving....but maybe you can move the game to the night before, since no one works that week. We've done this for years for things like pre-holiday games.
Every group is different and life has many demands as you get older. Relax and cop to it, and you will find solutions that work for your group. I'm blessed with great players and a regular D&D schedule....I hope you can find a way to make that work, as well.
