The never ending story of ...

BoldItalic

Villager
He took a breath, righted his now impressive seven-foot body, gripped his battleaxe and opened the door…

"They're not here yet," said Jak the one-eyed barkeeper.

"Who aren't here yet?"

"The others. Check the old Fish thread. They turn up on the 7th of May. You're two weeks early."

ClaW was bewildered. This was not how it was meant to be. He stared at Zak, suspecting a trick. He wanted to disbelieve but his mind was confused. A phrase kept saying itself inside his head in that annoying way that they do sometimes and the more you try to forget it, the more it comes back. Like when you try very hard not to think about blue elephants and you end up thinking about not thinking about blue elephants and the blue elephants just stand there smirking up their trunks refusing to be not thought about. Except the phrase that had taken possession of his mind wasn't blue elephants, it was "The Throg of War". Just that. "The Throg of War". It didn't even make sense. But he didn't know why. He didn't know ...

"You okay? You look a bit green around the gills. Can I get you a drink?" asked Jak solicitously.

"Erg."

"Do you need a cleric? I can fetch Sister Hermione if you like? She's very good."

"Erg."

Just then, Sister Hermione entered the Painted Pumpkin. Jak the barkeeper had diversified into selling embroidery cottons and she needed some three-ply turquoise for some new vestments she was making.

"Blessing upon thee," quoth she, "Today doth all the world rejoice, for be it not verily the feast of Bless'ed Antiphoné?"

"Erg?"

"Hmm," said the good sister looking professionally at Claw. "Methinks thou art in need of ministrations," whereupon she picked him up, turned him over and applied a salve from a jar that she always carried in her reticule. It tickled and felt hot.

"Erg!"

"Take these tablets three times a day after meals and try not to walk on it for two weeks."

"Erg. Erg?"

"Not when I'm working, dear."

"Erg."

ClaW fell into a doze. The salve was beginning to work and consciousness slipped away peacefully, dreaming of blue elephants.

Suddenly ...
 

rgoodbb

Explorer
Suddenly ...

Suddenly ... Gucci found himself in front of a bunch of Flounces. He had turned into a girl who wielded a chain and was in the middle of a monk like acrobatic flip. He landed poorly and then…

Suddenly … Nam-Draz’il was walking into a pub entitled the Awning Pothole. Wearing full field plate armour, he clumsily tripped over the threshold and crashed to the floor when…

Suddenly … New Dawn was experiencing … A similar disturbance but she was now Gucci in the middle of a bar fight in the Druid Shed. She ducked from a mimic’s tongue attack and…

Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...
Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...
Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...
Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...
Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...
Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ... Suddenly ...


POP!





Suddenly ...
 

BoldItalic

Villager
Suddenly ... nothing happened. Time stopped.

The universe and everything in it ceased to move. The speed of light became zero. Physics would have unravelled except that it couldn't because it couldn't get from a state where it was working to a state where it wasn't and had to be content with being totally Heisenberg.

In a trillion galaxies, a septillion sentient beings simultaneously thought "W ... ?" in a quintillion different languages and the thought hung in time like cosmic aftershave.

The universe had crashed.

"Have you tried switching it off and on again?" asked an incorporeal entity.

"Several times. I think it might have been that April 2018 Windows update."

"Can we roll back to the last System Restore Point?"

"Yes, but we'll lose recent data if it's already been reformatted."

"Try it anyway. Nothing to lose."



> 0F0F2A390BC285640F0F0F0F6910A2D808002B30309D

Od contemplated his room in the attic of the Pig and Lion. It was dingy and squalid but at least it was free. The previous occupant had left it in a filthy state but Od conjured up an Unseen Servant who soon set about cleaning it up. Mice scurried under the furniture in alarm as a broom wielded by invisible hands swept every corner free of dust and cobwebs.

Od settled on the bed and cast a Light cantrip on the bedpost behind his head. He drew out a letter and began to read. A halfling maiden had thrust it into his hand earlier, as he finished his performance in the common room downstairs. Tumbling and Juggling was his forte and it went down well enough tonight, but the customers had really been more in the mood for a sing-song. A few bars on the flute had been enough to set them off and the landlord was suitably appreciative, for singing makes thirsty throats and thirsty throats make good takings at the bar.

"Dear Od", the letter began ...
 

rgoodbb

Explorer
"Dear Od." the letter began ...


...This is my final draft manuscript of: The never ending story of...Please take the time to read it. I have struggled in recent weeks to put quill to parchment therefore culminating in my thought that it must surely be near completion, or at least as complete as a neverending story might indeed one day find itself, if indeed it lost itself.

It has been a harsh winter, especially for one at my age, but, snuggled between candle and hearth on those dark days and nights, I have recorded all that I remember so very long ago. It will happen soon you know. You will receive another letter after your performance tonight. How do I know? Read on if you dare.

With love.

Your servant, Od. (Yes. Od) ...
 

rgoodbb

Explorer
B.I.

I probably shouldn't have put those pesky three little dots at the end. Or maybe it's entirely appropriate.
 

BoldItalic

Villager
Works for me. Without the dots it's final but with the dots it cycles back to the beginning.

Nice one :)

Now, no more for a while. I'm utterly muse-less.
 

Advertisement

Top