Having drained his last cup, and his plate taken away, Hobnob began rehearsing his story. Anything to distract from the terrible seriousness of his fellows.
After Authiel finishes the song, Hobnob leaps at the chance to turn the mood around, literally. Jumping from the ground to his chair, from the chair to the table and pressing his family horn to his lips. A glaringly loud cry escapes the instrument, catching the attention of all nearby and setting the stage for Hobnob. With everyone's attention squarely fixed, he took a long draw on his pipe and began his story.
Someplace far from here, a soldier returned home from war, ragged and tired. He had only enough rations to carry him half of the way home. These were special biscuits, made by the wizards of yore, particularly long lasting, filling, and delicious! The little hobbit rubbed his stomach lovingly, remembering his recent meal all too clearly, But he was a man of wits, a veteran of life's trials and filled with kindness. The soldier walked at a dour pace, until he came upon a hobbit blowing at his horn. The hobbit tooted and stamped, blared and shouted; dancing a jig while he spun in place. the Hornblower laughed a bit while jumping and clicking his heals together.
The soldier was so moved he began to dance a funny dance, lifting one foot and then the other, pointing in many directions. After the pair finished their song and dance, the soldier decided to share one of his magical biscuits as thanks for the delightful performance. The hobbit thanked him greatly, before bowing and saying that the soldier deserved a better walk, something... jaunty. Hobnob began to strut along the table And so it was, that the soldier was given the gift of a jaunty gait. Before long the soldier came across an elf puzzling at a deck of cards. The soldier asked the elf what the problem was, and after waiting several moments, did not receive an answer. The elf instead picked up the deck and dealt himself and the soldier a hand of cards. I win. Said the elf, without looking at his cards. The soldier laughed, throwing his head back and grabbing his stomach again, Hobnob let loose a loud and happy chuckle of merriment. I'd bet my last two biscuits against your cards, that you don't win; said the soldier, placing the biscuits upon the table. The elf picked up the biscuits, and said Deal; never looking at his cards. The soldier began to protest, until he checked the elf's hand, the fair one had won. Gathering up the deck, the soldier chased after the elf, only to find no trace that he had passed.
The soldier took his new walk for a stroll, being that he had only a deck of cards and nothing to eat, he knocked on the first door he came to. The door to a large castle upon a hill, which overlooked a kingdom in the distance. If only our friend the soldier had noticed the disrepair of the place, the shattered stained glass windows, the lack of guards at their post. But he was tired, hungry and desperate. Hobnob shook his head, The soldier explored the castle for hours looking for someone to ask for food, and after giving that up, searching for food itself. Finally he took a seat in the dining hall, after leaving the nearby kitchen, in order to lament his luck. The fireplace sprang to life suddenly!
Throwing his arms wide Hobnob shouted FWOOSH! Devilish devils sprang from the pit of flame, and from each shadow to surround the exhausted soldier. They fell upon him, but the soldier was strong in his desire to live and he called out; Stop there foul creatures! The devils laughed aloud their cackles echoed through the castle. Why? Asked a particularly nasty devil, showing fangs the size of a short sword. Hobnob held his hand below his mouth to emphasize the fangs Devil's love a game of wager, responded the soldier, come let us gamble the night away. The devils were a chorus of foul laughter and insults. Eventually they calmed and accepted the soldiers gambit, his wager to be his own soul, theirs to be breakfast upon sunrise. The rowdy group cursed like only devils and soldiers can, playing hand after hand, game after game. Never once did the soldier lose a game, not even a single coin of the pile he had amassed from the devils. The devilish devils cheated every way they could think, even going as far as stealing and replacing the soldiers cards over and again. Until the sun rose, and shown light on the last devils coin being added to the soldiers pile. Hobnob reached out, as if grabbing a coin from midair, The devils laughed anyway, never intending to honor their agreement, the largest shouted; So about that breakfast you're to become! The soldier showed no fear, standing and walking out of the castle with his new jaunty gait, saying as he left; Follow me if you wish for real power. None of the devils moved, so fearful were they of the casual way the soldier carried himself, assuming him to be a great wizard. Only one devil even budged an inch, the smallest, weakest of the group; ran after our friend, the soldier. Flapping his arms Hobnob continued, The devil shot like a flash to the soldier, asking forgiveness and swearing oaths of fealty. The soldier was kind, and forgave the devil its treachery. He told the little one the castle was his now, and to tell his brethren to leave and never return for fear of being consumed. The devil agreed and sped to the castle, alerting his former brothers of the danger that came the next night. The creatures fled then and there, taking flight down the deepest well in the courtyard and never returning from the darkness below. The soldier smiled to himself at the news, and began walking toward the nearby kingdom. Word of his deed arrived before him, and the soldier was welcomed as a hero, granted kingship and moved into the castle by nightfall; when a great celebration ensued! and on that note Hobnob jumped down from his stage and began blowing his horn and dancing in circles.