I played a little redbox as a kid with the older kids on the street and later my lifelong pal. And by Jr High, we started playing some AD&D.
Pretty close to how I got started. But taking off my nostalgia glasses, DM fiat (as you note), came into play quite a bit to keep players from quitting (e.g. getting hit with 6 permanent level drains in 1 session), wherein I circumvented the "merciless" part of the rules. D&D designers took note that I wasn't the only one.
I was far from home but my mind was blown when I saw half-orc paladins. Fresh from 1e, this was a revelation.
Same. We went from predetermined roles (an elf is always a fighter-wizard) to "an elf is whatever you make of it." Doesn't mean you can't thematically homebrew a world that says
dwarves can't be arcane casters. They abhor magic and actually can't make it work. Some feel D&D is immutable. It's never been that way.
My problem comes in with occasional dissatisfaction about the level of danger in the game. It seems like people are healed quickly and unless it’s a TPK, it’s not as dangerous and getting beat down lasts a round or two max.
Easily fixed with a homebrew. Our solution has been "Vitality" (actual damage your body can take) to replace Death Saves (rules linked). This eliminates "whack a mole" and gives us a more desperate dynamic. Healing Vitality is difficult. Otherwise, I view HP, as it was in AD&D and always has been, as an abstract way to avoid actual damage. I don't care if you're a 20th level warrior, if a giant's club actually hits your body, you're dead. I'm okay with HP recovering quickly because of this, but death saves had to go in my game due to the absurdity it created.
I also have some nostalgia for the logistics of old….worrying about running out of things like torches and food. Some things just seem easier now.
Another homebrew. We use
"slot encumbrance," which makes a simple visual of where everything is that you have on you using D&D's optional encumbrance rules. Easy to track, adds a strategic element.
Makes a huge difference. For example, the prefab Ranger from the PHB with scale mail is already encumbered to start the game, if played by the rules.
The other thing that can at times be frustrating is the power of missile weapons.
AD&D's rule was brutal (50/50 hit your ally depending on size), but another homebrew resolution could be reached. Off top of my head, if miss, maybe roll an attack against random adjacent target. Will slow your game down with another roll, but reflects risk and reward of melee fire (great if you're firing into a crowd of enemies).
Ultimately the problem with my enjoyment at times (not too frequent) I think is due to nostalgia and fairy tales I tell myself about older editions. Having said this “out loud” I am very ready to get back to playing with less negative self-talk to get in the way. Our characters are probably going to survive. And its OK.
Absolutely agree, nostalgia is a gloss. And, years down the road, the same talk will be had by 5E players when they ruminate how much fun they had and how 10th Edition just doesn't seem to capture that.