I think you are reading into it too much.
I think I am reading it exactly as a number of my female friends who love the show are taking it. Call that "too much" if you will.
She is still on the show and they had rick do what he did because it is an interesting development that creates a lot of drama and instantly divides the audience into team carol and team rick.
"Let us have the characters do these things that are seemingly out of character or stupid because it makes drama!" is not what I call good writing. Carol, having seen Rick's errors in autocracy, and having been a parent herself, and being arguably the most compassionate character since Dale, thinks teaching kids things she must hide from the parents a good idea? She thinks choosing life or death for others without talking to anyone about it is a good idea? That seems right?
Team Carol and Team Rick? Is this Walking Dead or Twilight? Do you not see the basic problem with dividing up into teams? You risk alienating a good chunk of your audience when you resolve in a way that satisfies one side or the other.
But I really have trouble seeing it as an attempt by sexist writers to silence a strong female lead they deteloped themselves.
It'll be seen that way so long as it rests in the position of Rick having won. And, of course, if they turn around and say Carol was right, then Rick is degraded again as a leader-figure. They set it up as a pretty binary thing - one or the other of them is Wrong, and a middle-ground is going to be hard to find.
And lets not forget, the best warrior in the prison, and probably the most fearless is Michonne. She is like Rick and Daryl combined with her moral center and toughness.
I don't actually care how badass they are in combat. Mearle was badass, but a weak person. Hershel, who probably has the show's lowest body count, is arguably one of the strongest people. Combat ability not the kind of strength I'm talking about - though admittedly, our language doesn't have a good word for what I'm talking about.
Michonne? Moral center? She spent most of last season silently pouting and being groundlessly angry at the Governor*. I don't see as she has been making statements on morality, or been a strong moral example, or been making difficult moral choices. She's merely been the McGuffin around which the moral debate was framed.
*Yes, Michonne was correct that the Governor was a bad egg, but she had no *evidence* when she decided it was so. She just guessed it, and "lucky guesser" isn't a sign of moral strength.