The worst of all editions? (humor)

[OchreJelly]

All this talk about 5e being made up of a "greatest hits" of each edition got me thinking. Surely if there's a best set of features there must be a worst set of features. Therefore I believe there exist on a plane of chaos, the anti-5e made up entirely of dark matter and badwrongfunonium.

But what exactly would an edition made of the worst parts look like? To kick things off I'll invent a play session anecdote from this hypothetical edition.

Ahem... here goes:

The large-breasted female dragonborn fighter attacks the gas spore with her mercurial monkey-gripped greatsword. Taking into account her weapon speed and THACO, the player still rolls a 1 and fumbles her sword.

Disclaimer: This is all in fun. No edition wars should be sparked from anyone's idea of "bad".

 

[Astrosicebear]

The worst edition of D&D would be one where there is a 500 page splatbook for every race/class/skill/town/etc.

They would all be required to play, and would cost $49.95 each. And in case you think thats cheap, they are all written poorly and edited twice as poorly.

 

[Halivar]

I have found a portal into this nether-dimension, and found anti-D&D, made of pure badwrongfunium.

Behold, and despair.

EDIT: In all seriousness, though...
I can't think of a single thing I hate that I believe everyone else hates, too.

I hate THAC0, but darned if there aren't still some 1st Ed. players who love it.
I hate saves, but apparently it's coming back.
I hate save or die... for others it's a must.

I could try to design a game with all the worst aspects of D&D ever.
And it just might end up being someone's perfect version of D&D.

 

[Crazy Jerome]

The worst? The edition that managed to combine into one product: The scope of OD&D, the details of core BECMI, the rules coherence of 1E, the rules elegance of 2E, the 3E speed of creature construction, and the 4E fidelity to tropes.

A typical character would be a -2.5th level Sage/Solicitor with a bad heart, which took an average of 22 hours to properly construct, played for several sessions scavenging equipment, and finally died from fright seeing his first orc eat the pie.

Edit: "Sage" was the kit. That's the only way to make the "Solicitor" class viable, thanks to Rules Appendix 2, Section A, 4.95J. When I asked the player about the nature of the pie, he said, "Don't care. I was just happy to get off the (expletive deleted) railroad!"

 

[LurkAway]

Combat is incredibly complicated, average combat length spans 2 game sessions, everyone does exactly the same thing over and over, and everyone dies at the end.

 

[Halivar]

Combat is incredibly complicated, average combat length spans 2 game sessions, everyone does exactly the same thing over and over, and everyone dies at the end.

So.... like anime?

 

[Remathilis]

1.) Roll 3d6, in order, for your scores.
2.) Roll 2d8 points to assign to those scores, using table 1-2.
3.) Pick a race. Choose one positive ability bump and the negative bump. Write down all racial powers and skill mods.
4.) Roll % for all scores above 18 (IE 18/73)
5.) Pick a role (defender, controller, striker, leader). Note constant role abilities. (mark, damage kicker, healing minor, etc).
6.) Pick your power source (cross check against role). This determines your class. Check to make sure you meet all class prerequisites for race and ability scores.
7.) Pick class powers: 2 at will, 1 encounter, 1 daily.
8.) Roll 3d-Hit dice for starting hp.
9.) Check starting skills. Remember to x4 your starting skill points, 1/2 for cross class. Check for skill synergy and racial bonuses, as well as situational mods.
10.) Pick 2 feats, once from the specific class list, once general.
11.) Purchase all starting gear.
12.) Write down name and alignment.
13.) Play!

Est time: 2.5 hours.

 

[Dannager]

The large-breasted female dragonborn fighter attacks the gas spore with her mercurial monkey-gripped greatsword. Taking into account her weapon speed and THACO, the player still rolls a 1 and fumbles her sword.

This was a mental rollercoaster of titillation and terror.

 

[Hassassin]

Mages have an At Will that is 3e polymorph. The game has all monsters from before and after 3e.

 

[thedungeondelver]

The worst edition of D&D would be one where there is a 500 page splatbook for every race/class/skill/town/etc.

They would all be required to play, and would cost $49.95 each. And in case you think thats cheap, they are all written poorly and edited twice as poorly.

You mean EXALTED?