Those funny n00bies

[Enkhidu]

New gamers are a constant source of joy for me. I love seeing people new to gaming have those "aha!" moments, and I think everyone likes to see the look on a person's face the first time they lay some smackdown on a baddie. But what I like most are the completely silly things first time gamers say.

Let me give you an example: one person in our gaming group came to gaming via Vampire, MET, and the like. As a result, she got used to the, er, adversarial feel of White Wolf's MET games. So, while teamwork wasn't foreign to her, it wasn't exactly old hat either.

Anyway, the first time she gamed she got the traditional "you meet in a tavern" intro. During a lull in the roleplay, well let me quote it for you.

DM: "The last thug falls to the ground with a thud. The rest of the crowd is giving the rest of you a wide berth."

*Beat*

Newbie Player: "So is this the part where we all band together?"

*Beat*

*Much laughter*

Anyway, enough about us - what funny things have you heard come out of n00bs' mouths?

 

[fett527]

Yeah, that Aurora, constant source of gaming amusement in the early days. "Much laughter" doesn't do the moment justice.

 

[Aurora]

I hate both of you.

I will never live that down. Not ever. LOL As well I probably shouldn't.

 

[fett527]

I hate both of you.

I will never live that down. Not ever. LOL As well I probably shouldn't.

Nope, you most certainly will not. Mostly because we won't let you.

 

[shilsen]

Best newbie moment I remember is from a 2e game I ran for some friends back in India. They were all fans of fantasy but had never played D&D, so there were some great lines and moments, simply because they had completely different expectations to more experienced players. But the best of the lot was...

Situation: The PCs, exploring an underground complex and having fought off some baddies, manage to find a secret way into their treasure chamber. Once inside, they grab as much loot as they can and also don all the magical armor, clothing, etc. The elven fighter/wizard puts on a cloak. Then, for some strange reason, they leave through the front door and not the secret tunnel they came in through.

As the elf, who takes the lead, steps out, he finds themselves facing the two bugbears guarding the room. I describe the creatures in loving detail, and the players, none of whom has ever encountered one, start to look very worried.

When the bugbears attack, one swings his flail at the elf. The cloak had improved his AC by a point, which was precisely enough to miss, so I describe it as follows: "The snarling creature swings at you with his flail and, even though you fail to dodge the blow, it bounces off your new cloak.

Newbie player: Yes! This is awesome! I fling my arms wide and shout, "I am INVULNERABLE!"

Me: O-kay! Now the other creature attacks. *roll a critical* And you take 14 pts of damage.

Newbie: WHAT?!

Other Newbies: *snickering*

Me: You have 6 hit pts, right?

Newbie: Um, yeah. But I thought ... I mean ... doesn't that cloak make me invulnerable?

Me: Not so much. (Addressing the group) As he pronounces his invulnerability, the second flail slams into his chest, taking him off his feet and depositing him in a bleeding and unconscious heap against the wall.

Newbie: *swearing*

Other players: *fall off bed laughing*

 

[kaomera]

I hate both of you.

I will never live that down. Not ever. LOL As well I probably shouldn't.

Don't feel bad, at least you recognized the moment, when it arrived. Some don't.

My personal fave: "I cast Darkness at the Magic Missile", followed by several minutes of confusion before the rest of us could catch our breaths enough to explain the reference to the guy who had uttered it...

 

[IamTheTest]

That is funny. More importantly, I dont suppose all these Dayton players could use one more? Ive been looking for a group as mine disbanded.

 

[Theron]

My favorite newbie moment came from a player who was used to playing D&D being introduced to Champions. Her character, a teleporting brick popped up in front of a fairly normal thug, and let go on him full force. While she didn't critically injure him, she did roll amazingly well on her knockback roll and sent him flying about thirty feet. The player went into a full-on panic, babbling, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...I didn't kill him did I? Tell me I didn't kill him!

It was a thing of beauty.

 

[ValhallaGH]

During a BBEG fight with a very eclectic party, a new player indirectly caused the killing blow to be struck.

Newbie: "So, the Kobold Swashbuckler can't move because he's out of strength? Well, doesn't Enlarge Person make you stronger? Why don't you just enlarge the kobold?"

Me: *stare at kobold player*

Kobold player: *stare at me*

Us: "Why didn't we think of that?"

BBEG One round later: "ARRGGH!" *Death Rattle*

 

[Nyaricus]

"Why don't you just enlarge the kobold?"

That's a good line

cheers,
--N