Those funny n00bies

[VirgilCaine]

I was under the impression that you got a traveller's outfit free at character creation... wait, what edition was this?

In 3rd edition you get a free set of clothes worth 1 gp or less with a starting character.

But you still have to write it on your character sheet.

 

[Ulrik]

I've almost forgotten that dee-twenty isn't in the dictionary.

A slight tangent:

Q: How do you recognixe the gamer?

A: He's the one who talks about six-sided dice.

(Anyone else would just call it a dice.)

 

[atomn]

One thing my friends and I still laugh about was my one friend's 2ed. halfling fighter. At character creation he bought some sling bullets. Since he had plenty of gold and sling bullets were so cheap, he spent 2 gold on bullets. Which gave him a total of 200 sling bullets. During the first adventure he used one of his bullets and then we found an Axe of Hurling in some treasure. For the rest of his adventuring days, the halfling fighter carried around his Axe and 199 sling bullets. (Obviously we overlooked the encumbrance section of the PHB!)

 

[Dog Moon]

Ahh...good ole Max. We roped him into playing Mage: The Ascension, though, he was a bit reluctant.

He'd played a little bit of Vampire in a LARP, but it wasn't a good experience because of who was running it and how it was run, very combat oriented. Now, our group was very roleplaying oriented, we figured Max would have fun (and he did).

So, we show up at this service station that we are about 90% sure has mob ties and can answer some important questions for us. So, I'm ready to employ some convincing tactics, con the info out of the guy, augment this with a touch of mind magic, etc.

We ask our first question and the guy gives a smart a** response.

Without missing a beat Max says, "I totally shoot this guy in the face."...and starts digging out his dice to roll. Hehe, we had to calm him down and get through to him that this is Mage and we're not going to "totally shoot people in the face" unless it's the last resort.

He backed down...however, there were opportunities for combat later. And from then on, Max's tag line was....I totally shoot that guy in the face.

It was great...to this day I drop that line sometimes and chuckle.

Cedric

This sounds like me. We ended up fighting some Giants, retreating, then 'help' came in and annihilated a lot of them. One of our party members became friends with the few remaining Giants. So while we were talking to one of them, I asked if I should stab the Giant in the face. Since the party member had spent so much time attempting to coerce the Giants to be friendly, it was decided that I didn't.

However, in the middle of the night, the Giant charged into our area and started attacking. I was like 'Crap, I knew I should have stabbed the Giant in the face.'

 

[Dragonbait]

Setup: The players saved a slave, who is actually a doppleganger disguised as a human that is workng for the slavers. The "ex-slave" pledges his life to the PCs and claims to be a warrior. They equip him, and he joins the group to try and take down the slavers.

Scene: The players vs. plant creatures that have a sleeping poison. The goliath is asleep, and thus, most of the group's melee power is gone. The goliath is also behind enemy lines, since he charged into the room first, before the other PCs arrived at the door.

Round 1: On the ex-slave's turn, he moves past the plant creatures, and goes up to the sleeping goliath. He says "I have a plan," and smacks the sleeping PC with his weapon. The goliath drops into negative hit points. The goliath player even announces he is in negative hit points. The players (including the goliath player) say "Oh, I think I see what he is doing." and smile, knowing that the ex-slave is about to save the day..??

Round 2: The plant monsters are dead. The ex-slave crushes the goliath's chest and the goliath dies. The players ask, in rather surprised tones "What are you doing?" The ex-slave turns into the goliath, takes the dead goliath's weapon (that does 3d6 damage) and now faces a rather surprised group.

 

[Olaf the Stout]

I was like 'Crap, I knew I should have stabbed the Giant in the face.'

There's a sig line waiting to happen. Kept totally out of context of course!

Olaf the Stout

 

[Aeric]

We had a new player join our group last night. Several hours into the game, we were looting a halfling wizard who had tried to ambush us. The DM rattled off his many magic items, eventually coming to....

DM: "...and a keyring."

N00b: "What's a keyring?"

We laughed for ten minutes straight.

Nothing beats my favorite quote from two campaigns ago, though:

"Hey guys? I have this spell called Air Walk? It lets you walk on air!"

 

[DragonBelow]

This happened around 1990, when I was introduced to RPGs through AD&D 2e.

We were in a combat and it was my turn to roll for initiative, I roll the d10 and get a 10.

I raised my arms and shouted "Zero!" and everybody started laughing at me, we still get a chuckle out of it.

Regards from Khyber

 

[Twowolves]

When my wife first started playing D&D with us, she couldn't figure out why the cleric of a good deity could "turn undead", as in "turn INTO undead".

"Why would he want to become a zombie??"

 

[GwydapLlew]

One of my players is not known for her desire to learn the rules - she really just wants to have fun and hang out - but in my SCAP game she's playing the cleric, so we have slowly been teaching her the various spells.

She is preparing spells one day and looks up and says, "What does control water do?"

Our response, "It controls water."



(Obviously, she wanted to know the details from the spell's statblock, but it was just such a perfect setup, we couldn't resist....)