To go or not to go....

[Dextra]

Ok... one more offer of free hooch and I'm there... LOL

So this year I want to spend some quality dice time with my fellow ENWorlders!

2 words for ya:

Canadiana Suite

 

[Wystan]

Sounds like me. Just because the class is higher level, or AP (whatever that is), doesn't mean it is challenging or engaging, which is the real issue. I never did homework, largely because I didn't need to. In public school, they would teach the lesson, then do examples, then ask you to do more examples for homework. OK! I had it before you finished the lesson, the examples made me bored to death, and now I'll be damned if I'm gonna do more examples at home to show you that I know what I'm doing. The problem is the set-up, not the material.

Not a lot you can do about it other than observe classes to see how they are set up and get him into classes that are less 'traditional'...good luck with that.

FWIW, I never did homework and finished public high school with a B average (we called them 'accelerated classes' back then), went to college and almost flunked out until I found a field that interested me, then I got a strait 4.0. It has to come from inside him, not outside from you. Be supportive, and actually listen to his complaints.

Lazy is easily confused with belligerent frustration (see passive aggressive). Hope that helps.

I think you are doing the right thing by not allowing him to go, but is that punishment because he wants to go to GenCon and play games, or is that punishment because he doesn't get to take a trip with dad? I probably wouldn't rob him of the opportunity to spend time with you, that's good for him, I hope. If you share a lot of time together, then you should go and leave him sitting home with mom with a big list of chores. If you don't spend much time together, then find an alternate activity you can do together, like chores!

I also did not ever do homework. I was bored with school and did not need the extra 'Examples' I got a 99-100 on every test and a zero on every homework, and I wish to this day that someone had called me on it. Hard to get into college with a 56 average for history (Teacher gave me a D as he knew I knew the work, just hated homework.)

Learn him some responsibility.

 

[Kastil]

You did the right thing on telling him he couldn't go and I think you should go. As a parent of a 12 year old son that's above average also, I've been in your shoes. My son missed honor roll the last two marking periods because he did his work and then didn't turn it in or just plain lost it.

I had the long talk with him. He's too old for spanking and taking away things at this age is just as effective. He'll make honor roll with flying colors this marking period and is hoping to get distinguished honor roll (all A's).

Kids at this intellectual know all about consequences to their actions. Go and have fun at Gencon.... remember to tell your child how much fun he missed so when next year rolls around, he'll be working hard for that reward.

Good luck!

 

[player 2]

Ok... one more offer of free hooch and I'm there... LOL

If that is all that it takes, I'll buy ya a drink too! I'll see you at Gen Con!

 

[yangnome]

I think you did the right thing too. The only thing I would do is give him an opportunity to earn it back. The event is still more than 2 months off and there is plenty of time for him to display a big change in attitude. If school is already over, perhaps summer school or self study topics might be a good substitute.

 

[Treebore]

Good ideas, Al.

I am having similiar problems with my 14 year old daughter. She has been home-schooled since about the middle of second grade and has just finished her first semester of college with a "B" across the board. She never did the homework, except for the English papers, never studied for the tests until the finals, feels like we expect the world of her when we remind her that she hasn't done her chores yet.

She is going to do the summer semester over the internet at home, and it is only two courses. If we end up going to GENCon she had better get hold of her hormones and start being sensible again. She has a good incentive to go too. She has been doing the interior art for several books put out by one of the RPG companies that are going to be there. They want her to come and do the signing thing. She is pretty psyched about that, so are my wife and I! So hopefully she will pull things together again this summer. Being a teenager it may take years for it to happen, but we'll keep on being there for her.

Anyways, DM Cal, go to GenCon, don't give your son the idea he can control you too. Make it clear you can have fun without him, but also make it clear it would/will be a lot more fun if you two can share the experience (except the drinking ).

 

[LostSoul]

Is your son really "lazy" or is there something else going on?

It could be anything. You should talk to him and find out why he doesn't want to do his work. And remember that he probably doesn't know the answer.

 

[Rel]

Ok... one more offer of free hooch and I'm there... LOL

Covered.

And seriously, I've been to a Con without ENWorlders and I've been to GenCon WITH ENWorlders. It's not even apples and oranges. It's more like "Stale Graham Crackers" and "Chocolate Eclairs".

 

[hexgrid]

Speaking not as a parent, but as a former child-

In ten years, when he's moved miles away from home, will you be able to remember why it seemed so important that you deprive yourself of this time spent together at Gen Con?

Something to think about!

 

[bolen]

Speaking not as a parent, but as a former child-

In ten years, when he's moved miles away from home, will you be able to remember why it seemed so important that you deprive yourself of this time spent together at Gen Con?

Something to think about!

While that is something to think about as a college professor, I think it is never too early to learn how to reach your potential. I suspect that is much easier to develop these habits while you are your sons age rather then the 19-20 year olds that I deal with. I don’t have kids but I can certainly sympathize with you. But responsibility and effective study habits are the biggest issues that I see while teaching physics. (Now this shows up in inability to do algebra but I think this is the root of my student’s problems)


As for you going to gen-con I think it would be a shame for you to punish yourself for what your kid did but I could certainly see this both ways.

Good luck to you and say hi to me if you decide to go