Utter Blasphemy!

[VonHackenslash]

Another note mysteriously posted, again tacked up with vampire fangs, and written fastidiously on high quality vellum of unusual pale sheen.

Cower and be properly fearful, oh residents of this mudball!

The Baron is not surprised that there are some who would attempt to garner his favor, if only to try and betray him later. Being that he is supremely bored (as only a truly evil warlord can possibly be), he has determined that he shall send an emissary to this pathetic shamble, in order that those seeking to swear themselves to the neverending service of darkness may be properly appraised and apprised, and possibly disemboweled.

A few other notes he has deigned to give:

You ! who claim to have conquered Thay and diverse other places! The Baron does not find you the least bit pretentious enough, but if you dare attempt to prove your worth to him, then find and slay the one who places silly faces on the Baron's notes. The Baron will actually pay you if he finds the method of death was suitable enough.
Also, try not to tell such obvious lies.

You! who wish to be a butler! The Baron has no need of a butler! But his extensive wine cellar needs an attendant, so that will do. Meet with his emissary if YOU DARE.

You! Who proclaims yourself 'humble target'! Your lies are spotted easily; you are not humble at all, except perhaps as an evil warlord! The Baron finds it hilarious how you define 'evil', and bids you go now to a temple of goodly folk, where you can spend your time wheezing about how everyone is insignificant to your clearly monolithic virtues. That is, after all, what paladins do!

The Baron pauses, so that you may appreciate his fearsome wit.

The Baron continues, but he has nothing but scorn for you all, and therefore concludes this letter. Do not trifle with him, lest you wish for your DEATH.


post scriptum: the Baron's Emissary will be visiting when you least expect it. Of course.

 

[Alek]

A small letter tagged to the bottom of this reads:


An informant tells me that your first name is indeed, "Cleetus".

Now is that Lord Cleetus VonHackenslash or Baron Cleetus Vonhackenslash?

I would appreciate an answer, so I may properly address you in the future, Cleetus.



~A.S.~

 

[Krystal]

Bored, Rose shakes her head and chuckles to herself, and taps her lip as she thinks. With a grin (( of course assuming you allow it)) she reaches up and pulls the note down then finds herself a place to sit and begins doodling all over it.

She places all types of doodles in an array of various colors from blues to violets and reds and greens about it.

In one corner she draws a stick figure in a skirt, running from a stick-figure spider. She scrawls "VonHackenslash" above the stick figure and an arrow towards it, indicating that the stick figure in the skirt is VonHackenslash "himself". She draws a yellow circle with straight rays coming from it to represent a sun and some green lines for little tufts of grass.

In another corner she draws another stick figure in a skirt, with other stick figures pointing at it. Above their heads are "hee hee hee".

In the center of the letter, and rather large, she draws and lightly colors in a large smiley face that looks like the following:

After she finishes she draws an artful red rose and then tacks the note back up upon the boards with a grin before disappearing into the crowd of people.

 

[Dark_Figure]

Once again you disdainful children post notes on these boards claiming to be some 'Baron'. When will you learn this is a place for adults, and not children. If you are caught I hope your parents punish you suitably.

 

[Venisad]

An amply dry and cracked piece of parchment dangles from the board by a single tack that has a spiderweb of cracks surrounding it, smeared across the parchment are a few words...



Although I have not seen this lord of war nor her minions, I hold no emotion of any kind towards them or her or any other messenger. Though if they make themselves seen when my beast is near, it will be well fed if only to make me know that I exist at least in some little part.

 

[Kallikrates]

Kakatios

A being covered entirely by a black cloak stops and reads the parchment. Anyone near might just hear a series of short hisses that eerily resembles laughter. The being pulls out a piece of parchment that seems to tattered and well-worn.

Holding the parchment in one hand he runs the fingers of his other hand over it, he then pulls out a black shard of glass-like material out of the confines of his cloak, places the parchment to the board and then pins the parchment with the shard.

The words on the parchment seem to consist of soot, but cannot be smudged

You write of evil....Why do you not stop writing and prove evil through your actions.
I think it will be...amusing to see you try.

 

[Magi_Apolline]

Apolline pauses, then peers, and smirks. She scribbles down,

"I think it is more amusing that you people actually respond to this. Isn't it obvious whomever this person is, is making fools of you."

Then ambles away.

 

[Ulraene_silverhair]

Baron Von Windbag

I have seen you and you know little..therefore you mind must be the size of a pea. I am no paladin and could never become one.

 

[Dribble.]

Bari wanders to the corkboard and clanks a note, written in a fluid letter full of curves and lines, and in bright pink ink. He then leaves, giggling.

Cleetie! Vonny love, where have you been? I miss you so much!
I knew it, our love was to last forever, no matter the worlds between us!

To my Cleetie Cletus,
Your Sugar Bug, John

PS: Hackslash Jr. misses you. He still has not went over his fear of rabbits.

 

[Ryu Shadowstep]

This note just seems to just appear on to the cork boards without any one seeing who had placed it, the note reads:

Dear Baron,

You say that I lied to you, never have I lied to you nor to any of my past lords have I lied to. For you are the fool that questions my abilities…I have a question for the Baron has he even been to these places that I have spoken of at all? I don’t mean within the time I said I have conquered them. No I mean has he ever been to these places at all in his life? If he hasn’t been to these places then he is a fool for calling me a liar, he is also a fool for saying that he has been everywhere in the multiverse. Now who is the liar now, and you still speak of things that you have accomplished during your life, tell me baron have you ever brought an entire kingdom to its knees just by yourself and perhaps one other person?
No, I hadn’t thought so or other wise you would of told us by now that you had. Now I didn’t say I had conquered Thay, what I said was that I killed the most powerful Red Wizard which was a lich mind you or perhaps you already knew that oh lord baron that knows all but still seems to know very little. You under estimate the people around you, you may think your all powerful and all knowing but you still have much to learn in the ways of manipulation. Now that I have said all of this which I think by now this will have your complete attention, I issue this challenge to your best assassin I challenge him to an assassination attempt he is to attempt to assassinate me before I assassinate him. You may choose to ignore my challenge, but know this if you do choose to ignore my challenge that will only prove to the people that you are not whom you say you are.

I’ll be waiting
-Tiberious Riddick
*under his name you see a black hand with two bleeding daggers crossing behind it