Van Helsing

[Umbran]

sorry. double post.

 

[Umbran]

You never know.

Oh, of course, one can come up with dozens of possible explanations. That's not the point.

I don't mind a bit of mystery, in general...

Spoiler

But in this case, that mystery was about as major a plot point as the movie had, and it didn't get resolved. They lean heavily on the "go to Transylvania to learn your past", and then only pony up part of the answer. That's just mean.

Worse so because, the questions will likely never be answered.

A sequel is unlikely. The studio wanted one big monster bash because they had the rights to them all. And they got it. But now, they have no material left for sequels.

"Hey, Van Helsing! You say you've got no memory of the past? Maybe those adamantium bones and claws are a clue!"

 

[Bass Puppet]

Saw it two nights ago.

Just like so many movies I've seen lately, it had so much potential but missed badely. I couldn't wait for the movie to end, while my girlfriend fell asleep halfway through the movie.

Yeah, it was that bad.

 

[Hand of Evil]

the rights to them all. And they got it. But now, they have no material left for sequels.

In the misquoted words of Buffy vs Dracula - I have seen your movies, you always come back!.

 

[Thanee]

I don't mind a bit of mystery, in general...

Well, I didn't see it as a vital part of the story... everything vital was explained, just not the details of his past.

Of course, it would have been interesting to know, but I found it equally good to not reveal that beyond what was needed to make the story work.

Bye
Thanee

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

A sequel is unlikely. The studio wanted one big monster bash because they had the rights to them all. And they got it. But now, they have no material left for sequels.

Oh, they'll pull *something* out of thin air if it does well enough. He doesn't have to just hunt down Universal movie monsters.

Brad

 

[cignus_pfaccari]

Yes, but...

Spoiler

Perhaps I misheard, but I believe inthe film our hero mentions one thing her remembers - dealing with Romans back in forty-mumble AD!. That makes him much older that Dracula. And starts to make the name and epithet imply much more...

Spoiler

That's why I mentioned the Wandering Jew, last I heard called Ahusereus (sp?). Were I tasked with writing the prequel, he'd have made a remarkably poor bargain with the Devil at some point, got cursed with immortality as a result, became a bad, bad, bad guy, and then when he murdered (not killed, murdered) Dracula, got cursed even more until he finally comes crawling to the Church for redemption.

DOn't you love these spoiler conversations?

Hey, I just figured out how to write spoilers quoting your text. :-D

Brad

 

[Villano]

"Hey, Van Helsing! You say you've got no memory of the past? Maybe those adamantium bones and claws are a clue!"

We do know that Wolverine has no memory and is over 100 years old. Considering what happens to Van Helsing at the end of this film, it would explain how Wolvie got his healing factor. Hmm, I think you're on to something there...

Well, I just got back from Van Helsing. With all the bad press this has gotten, I went in with lowered expectation. Usually, this results in my enjoying the film. I saw The Punisher ready for something on par with a Jess Franco film, but left the theatre pleasantly surprised and hoping for a(n admittedly better) sequel.

I went into Van Helsing not expecting much. I enjoyed The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, so I didn't go in with any baggage against Stephen Sommers. I was prepared for a dumb popcorn film. I'm even a "monster rally" fan and am extremely forgiving when it comes to monster vs monster movies.

I left the theatre very, very disappointed and hoping that any planned sequels never come about.

This movie was overdone. Everything was taken to the extreme. Every character possessed a Xena-like capability. Granted, in action films, the hero is expected to be able to do things better than any real human, but Anna getting tripped up at the beginning and doing a (wire assisted) somersault or crashing through tree branches with the force that would break every rib (if not kill you outright) and then landing perfectly on her feet would have had even Xena throwing up her hands in disbelief.

Spoiler

Hell, even the cow was indestrucible!

And don't even get me started with Van Helsing's embarrassing "grappling gun of infinitely long wire".

The acting was pretty terrible, with Richard Roxburgh as Dracula as the worst offender. He was laughable. No, seriously, people in the audience actually laughed at him. It was in the scene

Spoiler

after the 1st vampire bride was killed, when Dracula burst out of his ice (?!) coffin, screamed her name, and floated to the ground in that weird, ballerina-like pose. They also laughed later in the scene when he walked up the wall.

When they started to laugh, I felt embarrassed to be a horror film fan. I guess you can label his performance as "embarrassing", too, then.

And, dear Lord, the Igor make-up was terrible!

I'll concede that there were indeed some good moments. The sets were nice and most of the cgi was actually pretty good. The Wolfman (the main one, that is) I found to be really, really nice. I thought it looked terrible in the commercials, but, on screen, it looked quite good. When the movie centered around his scenes, I found myself enjoying it. The first and last werewolves didn't look as good, though.

Also, the black haired vampire bride was pretty hot. I'd take her over Beckinsale.

Oh, and I admit there was one good jump scene involving the

Spoiler

vampire baby

, and the surprise fate of one of the characters was quite unexpected and a nice chance for a film like this to take.

The Dracula creature looked okay, but didn't really do much in the film. I would have preferred the all cg Dracula over Roxburgh, but, then again, a broom with a wig on it would have been better than him.

Finally, we have the Frankenstein's Plot Device, er, Monster. Did he actually do anything in the film. I mean besides whining? During the coach scene with the werewolf, I was expecting a good Wolfman/Monster fight. Unfortunately, Franky doesn't even seem capable of

Spoiler

breaking the bicycle chain on his ankle

during the climax. Storm had more of a reason to be in the 1st X-Men film than Franky did here, which is a shame because I thought he looked pretty good. Okay, I didn't like the steam coming out of his leg. However, I wouldn't mind picking up a toy of him if there was one.

In the end, this movie was something as imagined by a couple of 9 year olds, sitting around planning the ultimate monster movie. It may sound cool until you realize the writing ability of the average 9 yr old. "Hey, let's have Frankenstein's Monster swing on a rope for, like, a mile!" "Yeah, and we can have Van Helsing fire his grappling hook from the castle to the mountains 1,000 feet away! That'll be so cool!"

The last time Universal tried to do a monster rally featuring their classic monsters, it was the mini-series remake of House Of Frankenstein. As terrible as that film was, it was much, much better than this.

Okay, maybe not. HoF ('97) has a 4.6 on IMDb. However, Van Helsing, even as a new, big budget action film, is barely pulling average with a 5.2.

The Punisher, btw, has a 6.5. That tells you all you need to know right there.

 

[Tinker Gnome]

We do know that Wolverine has no memory and is over 100 years old. Considering what happens to Van Helsing at the end of this film, it would explain how Wolvie got his healing factor. Hmm, I think you're on to something there...

Well, I just got back from Van Helsing. With all the bad press this has gotten, I went in with lowered expectation. Usually, this results in my enjoying the film. I saw The Punisher ready for something on par with a Jess Franco film, but left the theatre pleasantly surprised and hoping for a(n admittedly better) sequel.

I went into Van Helsing not expecting much. I enjoyed The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, so I didn't go in with any baggage against Stephen Sommers. I was prepared for a dumb popcorn film. I'm even a "monster rally" fan and am extremely forgiving when it comes to monster vs monster movies.

I left the theatre very, very disappointed and hoping that any planned sequels never come about.

This movie was overdone. Everything was taken to the extreme. Every character possessed a Xena-like capability. Granted, in action films, the hero is expected to be able to do things better than any real human, but Anna getting tripped up at the beginning and doing a (wire assisted) somersault or crashing through tree branches with the force that would break every rib (if not kill you outright) and then landing perfectly on her feet would have had even Xena throwing up her hands in disbelief.

Spoiler

Hell, even the cow was indestrucible!

And don't even get me started with Van Helsing's embarrassing "grappling gun of infinitely long wire".

The acting was pretty terrible, with Richard Roxburgh as Dracula as the worst offender. He was laughable. No, seriously, people in the audience actually laughed at him. It was in the scene

Spoiler

after the 1st vampire bride was killed, when Dracula burst out of his ice (?!) coffin, screamed her name, and floated to the ground in that weird, ballerina-like pose. They also laughed later in the scene when he walked up the wall.

When they started to laugh, I felt embarrassed to be a horror film fan. I guess you can label his performance as "embarrassing", too, then.

And, dear Lord, the Igor make-up was terrible!

I'll concede that there were indeed some good moments. The sets were nice and most of the cgi was actually pretty good. The Wolfman (the main one, that is) I found to be really, really nice. I thought it looked terrible in the commercials, but, on screen, it looked quite good. When the movie centered around his scenes, I found myself enjoying it. The first and last werewolves didn't look as good, though.

Also, the black haired vampire bride was pretty hot. I'd take her over Beckinsale.

Oh, and I admit there was one good jump scene involving the

Spoiler

vampire baby

, and the surprise fate of one of the characters was quite unexpected and a nice chance for a film like this to take.

The Dracula creature looked okay, but didn't really do much in the film. I would have preferred the all cg Dracula over Roxburgh, but, then again, a broom with a wig on it would have been better than him.

Finally, we have the Frankenstein's Plot Device, er, Monster. Did he actually do anything in the film. I mean besides whining? During the coach scene with the werewolf, I was expecting a good Wolfman/Monster fight. Unfortunately, Franky doesn't even seem capable of

Spoiler

breaking the bicycle chain on his ankle

during the climax. Storm had more of a reason to be in the 1st X-Men film than Franky did here, which is a shame because I thought he looked pretty good. Okay, I didn't like the steam coming out of his leg. However, I wouldn't mind picking up a toy of him if there was one.

In the end, this movie was something as imagined by a couple of 9 year olds, sitting around planning the ultimate monster movie. It may sound cool until you realize the writing ability of the average 9 yr old. "Hey, let's have Frankenstein's Monster swing on a rope for, like, a mile!" "Yeah, and we can have Van Helsing fire his grappling hook from the castle to the mountains 1,000 feet away! That'll be so cool!"

The last time Universal tried to do a monster rally featuring their classic monsters, it was the mini-series remake of House Of Frankenstein. As terrible as that film was, it was much, much better than this.

Okay, maybe not. HoF ('97) has a 4.6 on IMDb. However, Van Helsing, even as a new, big budget action film, is barely pulling average with a 5.2.

The Punisher, btw, has a 6.5. That tells you all you need to know right there.

Yup, all gamers do is nitpick.

Hehe, just playing with ya.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Granted, in action films, the hero is expected to be able to do things better than any real human, but Anna getting tripped up at the beginning and doing a (wire assisted) somersault or crashing through tree branches with the force that would break every rib (if not kill you outright) and then landing perfectly on her feet would have had even Xena throwing up her hands in disbelief.

Oh, I think you're underestimating the lengths of ludicrousness some of Xena's stunts went to

-Hyp.