D&D 5E Vicious Mockeries

Mistwell

Crusty Old Meatwad
I would love a list of vicious mockeries. A long series of short sentences a bard can use to accompany their cantrip, intended to distract a foe with the cruelty of their mockery.

Anyone have some they've used, or think would work well?
 

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I enjoy the classics:

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

"I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon." (The Princess Bride)

...or anything from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's rant at the beginning of Full Metal Jacket. Most of which I won't repeat here, for obvious reasons. :-)
 



I agree it's great to have lists of this sort of thing. Or a few examples. I keep a few "greetings" and "goodbyes" on a list. I find they help me get into RPing mode.

As for mockeries:

Now's the time for any last words
Excuse me but I'm just trying to park my sword in your neck
Unless I am wrong, and I am never wrong, your time is up
You cant take ugly with you to the afterlife, so there is that
I think you've mistaken this fight for one you can finish
If it were me, I'd run. I mean look at us.
 


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