Walking away from a game...

[ExploderWizard]

I don't know about that. Dying seems awfully rude to me. At least give us a heads up that you'll be getting hit by a car.

Anyway, the chances of "death" being the case are probably close to 0.

The last guy that bailed on us without even emailing me back to say he didn't want to play showed up right outside my office building 2 weeks ago (I work on a campus). We walked past each other and just nodded (I recognized him but didn't realize it was the guy that played one session with us at first). He wasn't dead, so I guess he was rude.

Seeing the guy a couple weeks later doesn't count as never seeing or hearing from him again.

 

[Sorrowdusk]

Seeing the guy a couple weeks later doesn't count as never seeing or hearing from him again.

You could have actually asked him-I would have.

 

[JediSoth]

Man, I suddenly feel lucky. None of my experiences come close to what I've read in this thread.

The only time I've "walked out" of a game, aside from moving out of the area, was when I realized that I was getting too old to tolerate a noon to midnight+ game 45 minutes away, despite only being once a month. The game itself was pretty fun, but nearly falling asleep driving home in the middle of the night was too much.

Other than that, I haven't had any really horrible experiences. There was a time when I wanted to get up and walk away from the table at a convention game, but I didn't, so it doesn't count. Still, it feel it was a waste of $10 for a 4-hour slot consider I only got to actually play for about 45-60 minutes of the time.

I feel for you guys. I hope NONE of the people you've written about live near me and try to join my group when I put one together again!

 

[Oryan77]

Seeing the guy a couple weeks later doesn't count as never seeing or hearing from him again.

Eh? I'm not sure I see your point?

Seeing him again doesn't explain why he bailed out of the game. It just confirms he didn't die.

And it wouldn't matter if it was 2 weeks or two years (it was about 2 months) until I saw him again. During that time, I could have thought he was dead. And it would still have been rude to bail without letting me know he was going to die!

I could have asked him what the deal was when I saw him. But as I said, I recognized him but wasn't sure where I knew him from until a moment later. And even if I did realize it right away, I wouldn't have said anything anyway. I don't care about his reasons enough to make an issue about it. Plus I'd feel like I'm putting him on the spot, and it just isn't that big of a deal.

Still, I agree with wedgeski. "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is just a bad excuse to avoid conflict. You don't have to hurt my feelings to bail from a game (I don't even need a reason). Just let me know you are bailing so I won't keep asking if yer making the next session and I can look for a new player. Otherwise, it's pretty rude.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Eh? I'm not sure I see your point?

Seeing him again doesn't explain why he bailed out of the game. It just confirms he didn't die.

And it wouldn't matter if it was 2 weeks or two years (it was about 2 months) until I saw him again. During that time, I could have thought he was dead. And it would still have been rude to bail without letting me know he was going to die!

I really hope that I know when I'm going to die. Being dead is bad enough without being thought of as a rude bastard on top of it.

To the point though, if you are expected to show up to a game and you have no intention of returning,( and are still alive) then notifying the others of your intentions is certainly the right thing to do.

 

[nedjer]

I like mariliths and other kinds of snake women. Mermaids too...neither one "hardcore" enough to count probably. I'm /d/emented, but it doesnt seep into other aspects of my life. Most people would never know.

Fair enough, each to their own

 

[nedjer]

Some years back, my then-girlfriend and I where looking to join an new group. At the local gaming store, we met some seemingly nice students and agreed to join their next session.
The greeting was rather warm, the 2 guys and three girls seemed to be rather nice people and we had a good feeling about our D&D future.

We couldn´t have been further off the mark. After the typical meet-up with thw group and some overland travel, we reached a village and they gleefully began to describe how the kill, main, torture, sodomize, rape and mutiliate everything in that village, what choice morsels they feed to their dogs and so on. It was so gross, we simply exchanged glances and left.

Another time I left a group for good was in the heyday of VtM. I joined a group and the mood was friendly but rather like your typical 5 o´clock afternoon tea party, with everyone lounging around, sipping on said tea and eatking cake, therewhile trading stories about the mundanities their charakters are going thru on their everyday nightlife. I was already bored out of my mind when one guy started to explain, in very grafic detail, how he´s raping his girlfriends charakter. That went one for about an hour and everyone at the table was listening raptly and nodding wisely at the described action. The girlsfriends comment afterwards was something like "Oh, I let him work off his evil side from time to time to ease the pressure". I was quite sickened and after that session, never came back.

Horse guy, shark bloke and mermaid dude might make for an entertaining novelty birthday party, but these fruit loops . . . just how many times did they watch the original The Hills Have Eyes.

 

[LeStryfe79]

There are some great stories here on this thread, but I'm a little perplexed by how many people here think rape is a worse crime than murder...I can think of several movies I've seen, as well, where the main character is both very likable and a rapist (High Plains Drifter, Flesh + Blood, ect). Now, I'm not usually into highly sexualized narratives in my games, but I have seen it done well a couple of times. I think, in my experience, it comes down to the overall maturity level of a game and whether or not the players are genuinely trying to explore interesting flaws in their characters.

 

[Nemesis Destiny]

There are some great stories here on this thread, but I'm a little perplexed by how many people here think rape is a worse crime than murder...I can think of several movies I've seen, as well, where the main character is both very likable and a rapist (High Plains Drifter, Flesh + Blood, ect). Now, I'm not usually into highly sexualized narratives in my games, but I have seen it done well a couple of times. I think, in my experience, it comes down to the overall maturity level of a game and whether or not the players are genuinely trying to explore interesting flaws in their characters.

I will agree with this. In my games, nothing is off the table, at least in theory, as long as it's well and tastefully done. The problem is, you don't know if it will be or not until it is attempted, and sometimes that just goes... bad.

That, and you need the right group of players. Most of my group is up for pretty much anything, but one of them is a little squeamish about a lot of things, and another likes to pretend he is 'above' being crass, but when he gives in to it, is just as rude and crude as the next guy.

Actually, the murder thing came up in my weekend game. [sblock=anecdote]The group had just discovered what became of an NPC that they had been trying to scry. One of the party flat out murdered him, in cold blood. It caused a short, awkward silence, and a bit of shock, but that was about it.

That could be because this particular NPC had been set up to be a real despicable guy, right from the get-go. He was the ex-husband of my character, and had been somewhat abusive verbally and occasionally physically (sexually was hinted at). He was a controller and a boor. He then disappeared after being thought dead (got conscripted into the army, never came back), and ended up marrying my character's then-14-year-old sister and getting her knocked up. He continued in his old ways, leaving her little more than a slave. Turned out that he was involved in all kinds of dirty business, including blackmailing and threatening the father of his brides.

The sisters conspired to slip the jerk a sleeping potion, and while everyone was out celebrating my character getting remarried, one of the other party members slipped in, found him unconscious, and strangled him to death, then tossed the body in a bag of holding and took it a hundred miles away into a mountain pass and left it there for the corbies and wolves to eat. nobody had any idea he had done this.

This was the guy that's normally 'above' being crass. It didn't shock the players so much as the characters, I think. I'm still trying to figure out how my character will react once the shock has worn off from him coming out and admitting it.

It only came up at all because the body was eventually found, and my character's little brother ended up being blamed (along with my char, but she was out of town). We came back to rescue little brother, and that's when the guy admitted it.

I'm thinking she will thank him (the killer) for it, and call his debt to her fulfilled (she saved him recently from near-certain death). Maybe give him a peck on the cheek. She's never been afraid to look into the heart of darkness (she's both a necromancer and a healer).[/sblock]

 

[Coldwyn]

There are some great stories here on this thread, but I'm a little perplexed by how many people here think rape is a worse crime than murder...I can think of several movies I've seen, as well, where the main character is both very likable and a rapist (High Plains Drifter, Flesh + Blood, ect). Now, I'm not usually into highly sexualized narratives in my games, but I have seen it done well a couple of times. I think, in my experience, it comes down to the overall maturity level of a game and whether or not the players are genuinely trying to explore interesting flaws in their characters.

There is a difference between violence and power.
Most of the time when we´re talking about murder, we´re talking about violence, either born of passion or in cold blood, meaning controlled violence.
When it´s abour rape, it´s about power over another person, dominating that person and enforcing ones will.
There is space for sexual content in roleplaying games, if done right, but rape has nothing to do with sexuality.