Wow, I guess there are a whole lot of tables out there where my friends and I just wouldn't fit in. I wouldn't want to join any group with such highly codified table rules, makes me feel unwelcome.
I game with friends, we are friends and treat each other as such, which eliminates 95% of the need for rules out there. I've got little interest in gaming with total strangers.
My rules, they aren't written anywhere, but everybody in my game, or joining the game is told them:
1. Any spell/feat/class/item outside the 3 Core Books, XPH and the Players Guide to Faerun has to be approved by me case-by case. BoED & CW are likely, but still ask first.
2. If I don't have the book, it's not in my game. I've got lots of books and between games you're welcome to look through them for ideas. If you want to play something I don't have, buy me a copy of the book, or at least bring me a printout/photocopy of the relevant parts, and I'll consider it.
3. Please design your PC to be at least marginally compatible with the rest of the party. This means no Evil PC's (ones turned Evil by curses or the like are going to be cured or become NPC's), Chaotic Neutral ones only allowed case-by-case, and generally don't make your character such that it will start major fights with other characters.
4. If at least 2/3 of the PC's aren't in attendance the game is cancelled. We might run some RP sessions or side-quests for players who are there, reflecting stuff done in the downtime, but nothing big. We'll probably just order pizza and watch a movie though.
