D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[Weiley31]

Hey it's not 1999!

It can be.

 

[Eltab]

Give him das boot!

How is a book about a WWII German submarine going to help?

 

[Eltab]

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

Talk to him away-from-game and ask him what things he enjoys doing. Other RPGs, other games, hobbies, crafts, something has to gain his attention. D&D alas is not it.

 

[Charlaquin]

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best.

That’s... Very strange... I struggle to imagine how he would even do that, let alone how it would make his character “the best.” When other people share their backstories, does he just say “oh, that’s my character’s backstory too”?

He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything.

When you say he tries to kill other characters, do you mean NPCs or other players’ characters? If the former, how does he know their alignment? If the latter, why do you have evil PCs in the party? This could be a problem being caused by the way the campaign is being set up. D&D is a collaborative game, the players should be creating characters that will work together, and the DM should provide them the opportunity to do so with a session 0.

We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

Like, he argues about rulings? Or he tries to get the DM to change the events that happen in the narrative? Either way, it’s important to set clear boundaries regarding player roles and DM roles.

Anyway, I’m still betting the underlying issue is that this guy just isn’t that into D&D. Probably better to play without him, and find other activities to do with him.

 

[Tiefling Works]

That’s... Very strange... I struggle to imagine how he would even do that, let alone how it would make his character “the best.” When other people share their backstories, does he just say “oh, that’s my character’s backstory too”?

An example:

Session 0. Everyone is making their characters, but a few people are behind. Everyone agreed that we won't have the same backstory unless they are connected in some way. I write about how my wife was killed by a Mind Flayer, and that is why my character hates them. I tell him about it and he says (As a joke) I might make that my backstory. He later decides he is going to make a different character, so he makes one, and it's backstory is how his family was killed by a mind flayer.

Does that sound too similar to my player's?

 

[Charlaquin]

An example:

Session 0. Everyone is making their characters, but a few people are behind. Everyone agreed that we won't have the same backstory unless they are connected in some way. I write about how my wife was killed by a Mind Flayer, and that is why my character hates them. I tell him about it and he says (As a joke) I might make that my backstory. He later decides he is going to make a different character, so he makes one, and it's backstory is how his family was killed by a mind flayer.

Does that sound too similar to my player's?

I see. Yeah, if you all agreed to have different backstories, then taking a detail like that from your backstory and just slightly tweaking it seems to go against that agreement.

 

[Li Shenron]

What should I do?

Life is short. Make his even shorter i.e. "kill him and take his stuff".

 

[Shiroiken]

Back in the day I'd try to work with them to get them interested in the game. Nowadays I don't put up with that crap, so I'd boot them out so fast their head would spin.

 

[Shadowdweller00]

Short answer: Boot him.

Longer answer: If you wish to continue to be friends with the guy*, tell him that he's not a good fit for the group; explain why; stress what you like about the guy; provide examples of ways you can still hang out. And boot him.

* or appropriate other gender

 

[aco175]

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best. He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything. We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

Unless he is 12 years old, you should not let him play anymore. If he is so young and immature, you may be able to explain things and mold him a bit to mature in gameplay.